My book is about retaining cultural relevance without being an embarrassing trend slave. This is as important in the workplace as anywhere else. We need to be conscious of how younger people perceive us and seem vital, connected, and conscious – not terminally out of it!
Here are some tips for not acting old at work:
- If you’re still dialing your cell phone with your index finger, stop. Start using your thumbs.
- Don’t begin your work emails with a conventional salutation, complete with punctuation.
- With the possible exception of a formal memo for your boss, don’t write emails more than three sentences long. Young or old, everyone is too busy to read long emails!
- If you must use voicemail, keep it short.
- When possible, use texts instead. Younger people respond to text messages where they may not to voicemail.
- Drop dated vocabulary.
It’s okay to say to a younger coworker, “I know you think Bruce Springsteen is crusty, but I love him.” Don’t say, “The Springsteen concert was so awesome. I’m going to send you a mixed tape.” Mixed tapes are obsolete, and mentioning them will only make the other person snicker at you. You don’t want to be in that position. - Tone it down.
Women our age often feel we need to assert their own experience out of insecurity, and tell stories about all the important things we did or give advice about what we did back in 1989 and how we did it. But that doesn’t make us look better; in fact, it often backfires. Our generation tends to have a more confrontational, negative work style than the younger generation. I think it’s our responsibility to change and learn the younger generation’s work style, which tends to be more low-key, soft-sell, complimentary, and non-confrontational. - Let go of cynicism.
Being positive and optimistic are young traits no matter what generation you’re from, but I also think these things are particularly valued by this generation of young people. Young women today didn’t face the exact same workplace challenges we did, and I think that informs the difference in our attitudes. Younger people tend to feel that the universe will give back what they put out there. I think there’s something to that. It’s more positive and less critical, which makes for a nicer life.
Share your own tip on how not to “work old.” Ten members who post a tip by October 16 will be selected at random to receive a FREE COPY of Pamela’s book, How Not to Act Old. Book recipients will be notified via email on October 17.
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I love anything and everything related to food. growing food, eating food....I think you would LOVE my sister's book (1st place winner of 2012 Gourmand Magazine award in the Fund Raising, Charity and Community division for a USA author) - it is title
If you keep rereading the last chapter, you will never get to the next one..get on with your life.
Do not hide your light so that others won't feel insecure around you. And as you let your light shine, you unconsciously give others the right to do the same.
Organic coconut oil. I was introduced to it by a VN sister a while back. It makes my skin SO smooth and it is great for my thick, curly hair! It has a hundred uses (just look it up online) and it costs so little.
If possible, give up reading glasses for contcts.
I remember hearing a quote that goes something like this…If you want to look younger, surround yourself with people older, if you want to act younger, surround your self with people younger.
Pamela, I need your book, I am not kidding. the 8 tips presented here will not do it for me. I work in a professional school of psychology (and yes, it is as fun as it sounds) with several women around my age (‘grandma age” as my 7 year old granddaughter likes to say). I can’t stand it when some staff members continually remind everyone of their age-that only serves to remind everyone of my age as well! These are the same ones that constantly send around those emails with quizzes and whatever for the older set: “remember when bread was 27 cents a loaf?” Jeez, give me a break! Lets just wear a tee shirt that says, “yep, I’m old, retire me and replace me with a kid that will work for less”. So, long story short (too late! lol) my tip is: Stop reminding everyone that you are older than they are, believe me, they know it already.
Thanks for the great info, Pamela-I want more!! Nancy Rocha, Program Assistant, California School of Forensic Studies-Alliant International University-Fresno, CA 559-253-2275, nrocha@alliant.edu
Letting go of cynicism will erase 10 years of lines off your face. That’s reason enough to do it! Our generation used to say ” ____ happens!’ I say, so what? Bring it on. If we live life fully, there will be an abundance of joy and of losses, some very hard. Each day I ask to walk in balance with others and this earth, to see beauty where it is and could be, to love with all my heart and my eyes open, and to do some good along the way. This keeps me going.
9. Don’t be a know-it-all
Listen to them and don’t feel you need to share your experiences all the time – sometimes they have wisdom to share.
Stop using your age as an excuse for anything, i.e., ‘I’m having a senior moment’, when you forget and/or don’t remember how to do something.
Dress for the job not necessarily for your age. Take a good look at your co-workers from the boss on down and dress accordingly. In many of today’s casual workplaces, slacks, khakis, and jeans are the norm. Note to women: If you wore the fad the first time around, it just won’t work the second time around. However good your legs are, a mini just looks foolish on a woman of a certain age.
Don’t look like a clown. No amount of make-up will make you look twenty-something again, and hair sprayed within an inch of its life is just as aging.
Clothes, accessories, shoes and hairstyles need to be kept current with styles – although they also need to be appropriate to our 50+ year old bodies!
i think a good way is to ask their opinion on work related issues, and compliment new ideas and feedback.
I was gonna say “don’t mother people” and then I remembered a coworker I once had that did exactly that. EVERYBODY loved her, beehive and all. I think we just need to be ourselves while being good coworkers and good people: be flexible, helpful, no heavy handed agendas at work, carry your weight, see everybody’s idiosincracies-yours as well- with a light and kind heart, give others their due and show your interest in their lives.
Learn how to do Facebook! And MySpace, if you like music.
I really like your tips, above. ULP….acouple of things I must change!
One of my daughters got me on FB to keep up with my nieces and nephews……I’m hooked and am having the time of my life!
Be a ‘can do’ person.
Try a new duty…..never created a spread sheet? Give it a try.
Step in and up to the plate if a volunteer is needed.
Get off your chair and offer to be of assistance.
Think ‘young’!
Don’t try and dress young, this makes the younger generation laugh and roll there eyes, they also make us look like we are trying to hard. Classic “business casual” never goes out of style and is ageless!
Get a younger lover. That most certainly keeps one youthful and appreciated for who you are, experiences and all. Just don’t get him or her at work.
Seriously though, we’ve spent our lifetimes trying to be taken legitimately as equals in the workplace and now we are being told to dumb ourselves down in order to fit in? I for one will not back down from my hard earned experiences. Be who you are. Let your work speak for itself. If you dial your cell phone with your index finger and someone notices, so what? If Ms. Satram thinks young people are less cynical than someone 50 or older, please, please, please think again. They have far more to be cynical about than we ever did or will.
[To Moongirl007: I had the same reaction to the cover. I had to wonder about the wisdom of wearing butt floss versus comfortable underwear at work. Perhaps I missed something or am in the wrong job.]
Let your actions do the talking and just do the job to the best of your ability. It speaks volumes and some of those younger people will respect your knowledge and may want to learn from you.
We were all young once upon a time and had the help of our elders to get to where we are now. Now it’s our turn to pay it forward and give the young people the benefit of any assistance they may request of us. Just wait for the questions and when they come, be as brief and clear as possible. By all means, don’t Mom them. That’s someone elses job.
I have a few – probably covered in the book.
1.Don’t be a “know it alll” It didn’t work when you were young, it won’t work now.
2. Keep your hair looking natural – that may mean colored properly, gray if beautiful and goes with your skin tone, nicely shaped in a modern style. Don’t do the spikes, but don’t have the full perm this is the way I always wore it effect. softer is better.
3.Believe that younger people have good ideas. You can’t fake this. If you pretend to listen with the intent of doing things ‘the way we’ve always done them’ you will be blasted.
4. Don’t assume that everything that comes out of a younger person’s mouth is the best thing yet. Differentiate between openness and good judgment.
Don’t indulge in “organ recitals” with people in your office. NO one, any age, wants to hear about your health problems.
…and don’t talk about your medications or your hot flashes.
Don’t use being old as an excuse not to do things – be honest instead. It’s okay to be tired or not into something; it’s okay to forget things now an then, but using age as an excuse only gives others a reason to push you into a catagory of Depends and Ensure.
BTW – great insight with what I have read so far. I worked in an environment where most of the young adults could have been my grandchildren and the generational differences AMAZED me.
Inky
Everyone so far has mentioned maintaining a healthy weight,but it’s also important to maintain fitness, strength and flexibility. These are important not only to your health and well being, but to enable you to keep up with younger people. Just being able to get something from the bottom drawer makes such a difference.
There are a few points. The younger generation does not wear a lot of makeup. It may seem trivial but they don’t walk around with black eyes from too much eye makeup. Don’t walk around like your in pain. A person should dress simply. Don’t complain about sweating because your premenopausal.
A tip on how not to ‘work old’ is to wear stylish not ‘granny’ footwear as women always notice shoes!
AMEN! My daughters and their friends notice shoes on everybody. We were shopping last weekend and one of them said “I will never let you wear anything like that, Mom.” More of us need to agitate for sensible shoes that either don’t look like hiking boots or worse – orthopedic Mary Janes (where did that come from, anyway?)
Don’t ever let anyone know you are afraid of change. Change will happen anyway so you may as well grin and bear it or you will get labeled. She’s afraid of change and you don’t want that label
I think how you carry yourself says a lot about your attitude, and thus, your age. Refusing to huff or puff when you rise/sit/squat/climb, standing tall and confident, smiling a lot, exercising willingly and naturally, and encouraging your colleagues, no matter what their age, help to make anyone a lively person, a spirit without age-associated constraints.
I have friends who are in their twenties and seem old, frail, set in their ways, boring to be around. And, I have friends in their 80s who spring with life, curiousity, and creativity. Keeping an open mind, asking questions and allowing others to teach you, and living your best life both mentally and physically, make anyone absolutely ageless, wrinkles be damned!
I think we “sage” workers also need to lighten up..be more open to learning new ways, after all, fresh eyes can teach us a lot if we take the time to listen..and not be so territorial of our old way of doing, being and responding. These “kids” in the workplace are pretty sharp!
I have no quarrel with these “inner attitudes.” What I take exception to are the lesser, outward behaviors such as wearing a watch, how you text (if at all), and the vocabulary older people use. And I don’t want to hear “nobody says that anymore” because I just said it, and so did you, and our 65 year old friend, too. We’re somebodies, and we count. Let’s not forget the way we respond to people, either. If someone states what we think is obvious, don’t say quietly “absolutely” or “so true.” To really be hip, you’ll want to say “Well, DUHHH!!
I think we “sage” workers also need to lighten up..be more open to learning new ways, after all, fresh eyes can teach us a lot if we take the time to listen..and not be so territorial of our old way of doing, being and responding. These “kids” in the workplace are pretty sharp!
What I’ve noticed most in the workplace is that the younger generation has better memories, can multi-task better, have LOTS more energy, can work longer hours, get things done more quickly, do their work more cheerfully because they treat it as “just a job.” But they don’t seem to have the compassion & patience we older workers have. It’s hard keeping up with them, but we creat a balance to the workplace.
make sure your public 411 relfects today’s currency; your URL, your avatar name, your skype name,etc
Learn how to text. It’s not hard. Short texts back and forth while in the elevator or when you’re eating a quick sandwich in the lunchroom are a far better way to stay in touch than a public conversation – I found out how “cool” my texting is when my daughter, who is at school 1300 miles away, was visiting home and mentioned how her sorority sisters were so impressed that Hanna’s mom texts instead of calls. Apparently their mothers are intimidated by new technology. Poor things.
I AM OLD! In comparison to a 20 something at 55 I think I am viewed as getting pretty dinosaurish! And I am proud of it! I am confident of my email style, proper splelling and punctuation etc., no shortcuts for me. I respect the other person enough to keep to the point, they are busy, I am busy. Dialing the phone…there is no such thing as dialing…where are YOU getting this? I worked hard to get where I am at 55, I am confident, helpful, considerate and hope the young people take on the world as they are my dream for a better future. I am proud to be 55 and a very vital part of the workforce, wearing my comfortable shoes and layered clothing to accommodate my sticking temperature gauge!
Brava! Bravissima!
I can relate to #3. Since people do not listen anyway, i write it out and trust they can come back to it and re-read it when things are not working out and they just read the first 3 sentences. I work in export and if something can go wrong, it will, so 3 sentences does not cut it for me. I give instructions but you are right people do not read it nor do they listen and when crap hits the fan, then they ask… why didn’t you tell me? duhhhh!
8 ouches later I appreciate this. Makes me sad though- I had no idea that I would have to learn a whole new way of being again- it’s a lot like being a teenager, which I loathed. I’d say moe, but then I would be in excess of 3 lines!
WWXDA
8 ouches later I appreciate this. Makes me sad though- I had no idea that I would have to learn a whole new way of being again- it’s a lot like being a teenager, which I loathed. I’d say moe, but then I would be in excess of 3 lines!
WWXDA
You cannot “retain cultural relevance without being an embarrassing trend slave” by adopting trendy behaviors and downplaying your experience. It is this article’s kind of advice that produces old bags who are bumbling and confusing. Now that is embarrassing. Consider if Katherine Hepburn were a work colleague. No one would give two hoots about how she dialed her phone!
Be true to yourself! Share your experience with other generations because keeping it at bay is a means of devaluing yourself, and makes you a conduit of history repeating mistakes. If you are present with others, the younger generation will value you no matter how long your voicemails are, and will be interested in any mix tapes you are compelled to share.
This is one of the best responses on this thread. I realize the thread is a bit old, but I saw a notice about a new response and reread yours. I hope you see this, Oldbrain. You pack a lot of power into a couple of short paragraphs.