My book is about retaining cultural relevance without being an embarrassing trend slave. This is as important in the workplace as anywhere else. We need to be conscious of how younger people perceive us and seem vital, connected, and conscious – not terminally out of it!
Here are some tips for not acting old at work:
- If you’re still dialing your cell phone with your index finger, stop. Start using your thumbs.
- Don’t begin your work emails with a conventional salutation, complete with punctuation.
- With the possible exception of a formal memo for your boss, don’t write emails more than three sentences long. Young or old, everyone is too busy to read long emails!
- If you must use voicemail, keep it short.
- When possible, use texts instead. Younger people respond to text messages where they may not to voicemail.
- Drop dated vocabulary.
It’s okay to say to a younger coworker, “I know you think Bruce Springsteen is crusty, but I love him.” Don’t say, “The Springsteen concert was so awesome. I’m going to send you a mixed tape.” Mixed tapes are obsolete, and mentioning them will only make the other person snicker at you. You don’t want to be in that position. - Tone it down.
Women our age often feel we need to assert their own experience out of insecurity, and tell stories about all the important things we did or give advice about what we did back in 1989 and how we did it. But that doesn’t make us look better; in fact, it often backfires. Our generation tends to have a more confrontational, negative work style than the younger generation. I think it’s our responsibility to change and learn the younger generation’s work style, which tends to be more low-key, soft-sell, complimentary, and non-confrontational. - Let go of cynicism.
Being positive and optimistic are young traits no matter what generation you’re from, but I also think these things are particularly valued by this generation of young people. Young women today didn’t face the exact same workplace challenges we did, and I think that informs the difference in our attitudes. Younger people tend to feel that the universe will give back what they put out there. I think there’s something to that. It’s more positive and less critical, which makes for a nicer life.
Share your own tip on how not to “work old.” Ten members who post a tip by October 16 will be selected at random to receive a FREE COPY of Pamela’s book, How Not to Act Old. Book recipients will be notified via email on October 17.
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What! I refuse to give up punctuation and good grammar. I am NOT ashamed of my education or the fact that I can write more than 3 consecutive sentences. Yet, I do not like texting. I came from the typewriter age. I figure let the kids do their thing and it’s ok as long as I can do my thing. Remember when our generation use to say that> “Do your own thing?”
We use to laugh at the little old ladies with the “blue” hair and who carried cloth handkerchiefs, and had some manners. Guess what? They were pretty smart and they had a rather orderly world. The only thing I thought was strange was that they preferred a radio to a television and a broom over a vacuum cleaner. However, they got the job done!
The young ones will realize that our ways are what they are. I do recall with a laugh my little old lady aunts who loved our rock and roll when my parents thought it was horrible. It wasn’t that my aunts were trying to be modern at the time, it was a matter of preference.
I think some new devices are good, like what I’m typing on now! I remarked to my expectant daughter that the items they have for babies are quite nice and wished we had had some of those conveniences. My mother was enthralled with disposables & I’m enthralled that a young woman can go out to work & yet give her baby the breast milk she can pump out & store while she’s out. My daughter will use cloth diapers sometimes & sometimes not. She may play Baby Einstein, or she may not…. the young people will make their choices. If these young people can raise up good kids & go to work make their ends meet like we did, we don’t worry about watches vs. cell phones or even if they make more money than we did.
Try to have a smile on your face as much as possible. A smile always makes you appear more alive and vibrant. Your voice is even more uplifting when you have a smile on your face. Walking around with a sour face makes you appear unapproachable and crabby.
I have a feeling that some of this is “tongue in cheek”….oops showing my age….it is amazing how many little sayings like that , get me a blank look from my adult children…..I don’t know if they read less books, or if it is just changes in vocabulary that occur with every generation……I like what you are saying , though. I personally love “growing” older. I love to also “keep on top of things”…it has nothing to do with children respecting older people , or not. It’s is about me just liking to keep up with the world with the rest of the time I have left. Our old sayings and behaviors make up whom we are, but why not add to that , learning new things…I have become kinder, gentler, less judgemental as I have been aging, anyway…I don’t judge the youth and , those that know me, don’t judge me. I get along wonderfully with younger women (and men). They love to hear about my life, as much as they love to teach me things about theirs. Life is wonderful, if you allow it to be..=]
‘Right on Gramma!’ (oops, is that too old school
’ I agree, it’s not about trying to stay eternally young, it’s about staying current and keeping on top of things. I’m 56 and have many ‘young’ years ahead to enjoy.
Just because I use my index finger to dial my cell phone doesn’t mean I’m old–my cell phone is the current ‘Droid on the market. I have no qualms about asking my three kids (in their 20′s), or anyone else younger than me, how to do something if I don’t know how. I don’t mind listening to advice from anyone older than me either. Different prospectives on things keeps it interesting. I’m quite adept with my IMac (just taught myself how to use Photo Shop and InDesign programs.). I have a Facebook account and know how to use phrases like, ‘that’s dope’ as well as, ‘that’s cool’. I don’t ‘force’ these things however, I simply stay ‘current’ and up-to-date on life.
Open your eyes and mind. Keep up with the constantly changing world. Watch, listen, read, explore. Learn something new. Stay open to change. Grab a piece of a fashion trend and blend it with a classic piece. Instead of a new fashion that screams, ‘Look, I’m trying too hard!, go for a look that says, ‘Uh-huh, you know I’ve got it going on girl’. Step out of your comfort zone now and then. Stay positive… nobody likes a ‘downer’. Laugh… a lot! A sense of humor is a great ‘anti-aging’ remedy
It’s okay to share bits and pieces of wisdom from your ‘maturing’ age, but also share what you have newly learned. Stay connected! Love yourself and others.
Live, Laugh, Love and you will feel young. Age is a number… It’s all about the attitude.
No, 1989 you are way off. signed, 1974
Woof — this just pushed one of my most sensitive buttons. Am so very very puzzled about having to — or being encouraged to — get with it and get sucked into a world of teenagers who are supposed to be learning from their schools, work-mates, neighbors, elders, etc. – and yet — those of us who would teach are told to stop it and get ‘with it’ and learn their ways. Bollocks!!! I cannot learn to love punk rock, heavy metal or their musical tastes.
I cannot learn to text and text and join their methods of communicating and don’t want to. I cannot and will not drop my ‘language’ to suit these young people – who are ever-changing – and who need to hear and become part of the ‘adult’ world – eventually.
Not sure where you met all these young positive, optimistic folks. I have to agree that what goes around comes around and what you give comes back. Their taste in movies, music, dress-code, conversation (mostly grunts) etc. does not suggest positivity to me – rather a subtle, but effective way of arrogance and an f… you to society. I am positive it will not last — unless big business wants it to.
If I were to adapt to the ‘younger, hipper’ generation – unless I also took up some kind of mind-bending habit, (to look cool) I’d be wearing mini-skirts, stick a phone in my ear, reduce communication to grunts or instructions to ‘text me’, learn by you-tube (which can be helpful, but not all the time) – and think I am ‘entitled’ more than any other generation I have had the displeasure of observing.
I believe one can be positive and still make an opinion without shooting anyone down.
Insecure because of my experiences? — my dear, you may have gotten that one totally wrong. Have you never heard of ancient civilizations who passed their stories on to the younger generations for hundreds of years in order to keep alive traditions, culture, knowledge, wisdom??? It was our generations who built this country and I can only hope these young people who are so laid back and low-key (maybe because of their drugs of choice) grow up and take over their legacy with some degree of pride and courage.
Our generation had a wonderful work ethic — today — not so much. Many of this generation don’t want to start at the bottom as we did — they feel entitled to be Chairmen of the board immediately. And — though it’s a whole new subject — that is one of the most important reasons we have an immigration problem – the illegal aliens are not afraid to do the ‘dirty’ work our own turn their noses up at.
How can one maintain cultural relevance and not become a trend slave if that is exactly what you are implying we should do. Whose culture? Whose trend??
If I have offended you, I am truly sorry — as I said – this is a touchy-touchy with me.
At 56 i just completed my masters in design and technology and went on a technology learning trip
to China with 46 kids. i was older than all of my fellow travelers and some of their mothers.
i went into to it scared -after all i was born to the television generation and not with a mouse in my hand.
One of the most important things i learned was i noticed my age more than those around me
this was a result of realizing that i could learn from the kids as they could learn from me
i changed but without trying to .. just by being with them…
I stayed myself but did not flaunt my professional accomplishments… i was here to learn and not just about technology
so i suggest open ness as the best teacher… its not about what you must do but an attitude
we tend to harden into our ways as we get older.. let the new inand choose from that what suits
M
Generation gap? What generation gap? I am 63 years young and raised my two Sons on the oldies of the sixties even though they were born in the seventies. They loved that music and both grew up to play instruments. My youngest son, who is 34, has a band and his wife is his lead singer. He feels that music is the universal language and the arts in general ought to be part of every curriculum in every school district across America; although, it is the first program to get cut due to the budget crunches. I have never felt a generation gap between my children and their friends and myself. I can’t help but believe that ny son is right in his thinking and I will follow the song in my heart and keep the smile of youth on my face for as long as I can!
I’ve found that younger people in the workplace value authenticity–so just be yourself! Be open, be casual, treat them as equals, and they’ll relate to that.
This too “rubbed me the wrong way!” oops! I’m 66 and have two daughters, 22 and 23. They are always using “new words,” which I think is cute, but if I went around saying the same, (and I tried) they’d just laugh. They keep me young, but I don’t think we need to not act old.
I still feel like I’m in my 30′s until I look in the mirror. Somedays I like what I see and somedays I don’t. It’s the same with all of us.
I’m working a contract position with tons of younger people. No problems at all with generational differences. And as for emails — THEY’RE the ones that are formal. I’ve doffed the salutations years ago! Maybe they’re trying to be more like us???
Most of the women posting to this topic seem to be confident, productive, happy people, who are not ashamed or afraid of being seen as “older”.
We are older. And I think we all can agree that our age is a number-we’re not defined by that number–we’re all Vibrant women–free to behave, dress, think as we like. We’re each unique.
These tips for not “acting old at work” will be valid for about three years. I think we’re all capable of choosing between our thumbs and index fingers–that tip struck me as truly silly!
Scientist believe that our music tastes might be hard-wired–that we rarely move beyond what we liked in our mid to late ’20s. I find that
forcing myself to listen to all genres and generations of music keeps my mind more agile. If you do it for decades, as i have, you’ll find that as your younger friends age, or your children grow into their ’30s &’40s, they’ll be astonished and bragging about you to their friends.
I was happy to see most posters are comfortable with their age and unwilling to play games to “fit in”. We left high school a long time ago. We’ve all figured out how to be popular if that’s what we want, or how to accept and value our differences.
Thanks for these tips. I believe play supports youthfulness. So… I signed up for an 8-week Improvisation class. The group has a fair representation of us boomers. The youngest member is only 7 years old. We all strive to be totally present and to make each other ”look good”. Playing with this group and focusing on “yes, and” responses has me feeling and acting so much younger. I plan to take this approach to work with me and sign up for an advanced class!
Thanks for these tips. I believe play supports youthfulness. So… I signed up for an 8-week Improvisation class. The group has a fair representation of us boomers. (The youngest member is only 7 years old.) We all strive to be totally present and to make each other ”look good”. Playing with this group and focusing on “yes, and” responses has me feeling and acting so much younger. I plan to take this approach to work with me and sign up for an advanced class!