- Safety first.
Times have changed. Today, there are new ways to help protect kids, so follow the rules set by your grandchildren’s parents. For instance, my mother used to leave my toddler in the bathtub alone when she was babysitting. She thought it was fine because she had left us alone in the tub when we were children. I wouldn’t dream of doing this today; I’m always extra careful. - Listen more than talk.
Listen with your whole body. Unless my opinion is asked for, I rarely give it. It’s a way I show my children respect. I am pleasantly surprised if they do ask my opinion. Recently, one of my kids were looking to buy a new house. They asked me to go with them to every house and listened to what I said. It made me feel very good.
- Live in the moment.
When you’re with your grandchildren, look them in the eye. Get down on their level if you can. Their joy is contagious; you take a little with you when you leave. Be silly, it’s good for the soul. I like to color with my grandkids. I can’t draw but they love it when I make a ridiculous looking pink horse (that looks like a rabbit.) - Look for teachable moments.
The grandkids are watching and listening. When I was recently laid off from my job I knew that my grandchildren would learn a lot about how to deal with life’s ups and downs from how I conducted myself. I showed emotion but I also talked about the people I was meeting and the prospects I had. They may have been in the corner playing, but I can guarantee they were listening and learning. - Keep family traditions alive.
I love to tell stories about their dad when he was a boy. Write them down as you remember them. Our grandchildren love to hear about the names we almost named our children. My son Devin was going to be Rachel and my daughter Jenna was going to be Ben. At holiday time, we always adopted a family (collected and wrapped presents and bought food). We also go to Wal-Mart and buy $100 worth of warm hats, gloves, underwear and sweatshirts to bring to the shelter. We continue to do this. - Don’t compare.
Love each one of your grandchildren for exactly who they are. This is the best gift you can ever give them. I try to spend one-on-one time with each of them. I have donut day with one and a bagel day with the other. -
Take them places.
Grandchildren learn by watching and being with you. I like to take mine for walks. We touch and smell the trees (in all four seasons), visit our favorite rocks, cats, dogs, flower beds. - Decide on a legacy.
Being a good grandparent means thinking consciously about the enduring imprint you want to make on the world. What Pam Klainer, a nationally known financial expert, is exploring this issue in her new book, How Much Is Enough? To Pam, legacy is not so much about the money you leave behind as it is about having a moral compass, being compassionate, having courage in the face of difficulties. An excellent life lesson to pass on to our grandchildren.
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ReginaLove, that is SO great to hear! As for soy, it may help with menopause symptoms -- it it controversial. The best way to use soy is in the form of whole fermented soy foods (miso, tempeh, tamari and natto). Non-fermented soy foods such as soy mi
Agreed. I never thought I was vain until I had a mastectomy at age 39. I was devastated and told the doc I wanted to wake up with implants. Now at age 60, I am lopsided and wondering if I was just avoiding the inevitable. You get what you get and you
Sounds very interesting.
Spike, you are awesome! Love your perspective, thanks for sharing.
Thank you for sharing your list. Number 5 is a wonderful tradition.
Milani, thanks for your response. Because of all they had experienced through this, when holiday time came, all their friends had long holiday lists.When I asked them what they wanted, they would ask for one or two things. The gift of serenity is wanting what you have. Best of everything, Deb
Deb, I really like this list. If it is ok with you, I’d like to send a link to this from my twitter page.
I’m looking forward to teachable moments, too! I attended a retreat yesterday on setting boundaries, and a grandmother (in her 80′s) had brought her two granddaughters (in their 20′s) and they took the workshop together! This gave me a vision for the future that warmed me from head to toe.
Agreed, there are so many great intergenerational things happens. Thanks for your comment.