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7 sexual myths about women over 50 Hot Conversation

  1. Myth #1: Older women are lousy lovers.
    False. For centuries, in many countries, it was expected that a young man would be initiated into the world of sexual pleasures by an older woman. Ladies, break the myths and reveal the lies. One way to do this is to hold your head up high and believe in yourself. You have history and experience on your side. Use it. You’ve lived long enough to have earned your stature.
  2. Myth #2: Older women don’t want sex as much as older men do.
    False. Women just want more talk along with sex. Women love foreplay and feeling desired. If your partner doesn’t “get it” suggest a date night away from the bedroom and gently talk to him (or her) about what you want. Communication is the key.
  3. Myth #3: Older women’s sex drive diminishes more quickly than older men’s.
    False. It’s just more complex. Remember sex is more than penetration. Many women can have multiple orgasms forever. But, cuddling, touching and sharing are all part of sex. If hormone help is needed, there are many traditional and alternative aids. And exercise always helps.
  4. Myth #4: Older women don’t want oral sex.
    False. Some do, some don’t. If oral sex has never been your thing, you may not want it. On the other hand you may love it. Or, you may want to try it and find out. Sexual preferences are as varied as we are.
  5. Myth #5: Older women don’t fantasize.
    False. Many have active fantasy lives. An added hint: if you are fantasizing about your shopping list while making love, try something or someone sexier. Some studies show that women are turned on by eyes, faces and butts. Also many women fantasize about strangers and movie stars. Fantasies are normal and natural ways the mind works.
  6. Myth #6: Older women must have romance to have sex.
    False, though many do desire connection. Most women tend to like being wined and dined. But, many women over 50 prefer easy encounters and/or friends with benefits. They like their independence and they like sex. They prefer no muss, no fuss.
  7. Myth #7: Older women lose their vaginal sensitivity.
    False. It depends on the woman. While for many women hormone changes can cause painful vaginal dryness, this is not always the case. In addition to suggestions listed in #3, remember use it or lose it is the key. Vibrators are perfectly acceptable health aids.

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Posted in live it! lists, love & sex.

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11 Responses

  1. Generic Image DemelzaDiva says

    Absolutely true.  I am finding making love so much more enjoyable as I get older.  I don’t know why it is thought that a woman loses all interest in sex after menopause.  I’m still waiting to meet the post-menopausal woman that thought is based on.  I doubt she exists.  Or maybe, just maybe, that idea was dreamed up by an older man who sucks at making love and as soon as his wife hit menopause that was her ‘excuse’ to say ‘Thanks, but no thanks.”  Maybe she’d had enough of his wham-bam-thankyou-ma’am approach and was only too willing to ‘fake it.’ 

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  2. Diana M. Diana M. says

    I am feeling more confident and sexier already!  Thanks for posting this list Dr. Dorree and lookign forwarding to reading your book.  

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    • Dr. Dorree Lynn Dr. Dorree Lynn says

      Your response makes me smile.Though some women do have a harder time keeping their libido going after menopause, other women like you are helping to break myths that are hurt everyone. Thanks for your comment. 

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  3. Generic Image Journey_gal says

    I would LOVE to see these myths thrown out the damn window!  I had a hysterectomy 9 years ago (I’m 54 now) and I was told by online forums and by ‘older’ female friends that my sex life was ‘over!’  I was told I’d never have an orgasm again, sex would be painful, gobs and gobs of KY lubricant would be needed, etc. etc. etc.  NOT TRUE!  I believe a lot of it is a mind set and we shouldn’t let ourselves be ‘talked into’ believing things until we experience them firsthand.  Having lead a healthy, active life I do feel helped a lot; I taught aerobics for over 18 years and still work out every single day.  I am now going through menopause, and did have a drop in libido for a few months until we figured out what was going on.  My doctors worked with me and through blood tests, etc. determined I needed hormones, which have helped with my energy level and has almost eliminated hot flashes completely.  Another thing that’s helped with my energy level, in turn bringing back my libido is a prescription for a testosterone cream.  My husband, thankfully, has always been a very considerate, loving partner, and his support I found very helpful also.  I’m 54, he is 59 and we enjoy lovemaking as much and/or more than ever!  Throw the myths away!  Continue to live, love and play!

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  4. CBW CBW says

    Of course these are just myths for many of us who enjoy an active sex life after age 50–with the right man who appreciates our life experiences!  The quality is all about what we expect to happen, and mind blowing orgasms are as wonderful as they were when younger. 

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  5. Auralyte Auralyte says

    I love sex and love my husband, but he’s gotten WAY less sexual as he ages.  It’s heartbreaking that he doesn’t want to work on this issue with me.  I won’t go outside our relationship in order to have a sex life.  Am I the only one who has an unwilling/unable partner?  What to do?

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    • Dr. Dorree Lynn Dr. Dorree Lynn says

      Read the Chapter called Oh No Where Did My Lover Go in SFG for tons of suggestions. but before you both go nuts and decide it’s a relationship  or psychological issue, when is the last time he’s had a total physical, including a hormone check, especially testosterone. Start there. He may be one of those guys with  a “mopey dick” who stays away from his own sense of failure by even trying. A physical comes first. Meanwhile, masturbate, have fantasies and take charge of your life. If nothing else works, try some marriage counseling. If he won’t go, get some some therapy for yourself.  This is not a good way for either of you to be living.  Be proactive. Then, let me know what happens. 

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      • Auralyte Auralyte says

        Thanks for your reply!  He’s been to the doc, and while his testosterone level is a bit low, and seems to fluctuate – according to the blood tests he has every six months - our insurance will not pay for testosterone shots or patches for him for that reason, the fluctuation.  Testosterone therapy is apparently quite expensive and we aren’t in a financial place where we can afford a couple of hundred dollars a month for them.  He takes Lipitor and I think that is taking a toll as well. 

        We had a talk about it last night and he seems to be more willing to work on this problem.  I think the mopey dick thing is a real possibility. I explained to him that I had real trouble reaching orgasm for 20 years due to my choosing to take antidepressants that had horrible sexual side effects instead of being a manic depressive monster, yet I never refused him (and initiated sex quite often) even when I knew that I probably wouldn’t be able to get off.  I asked him if he would consider that the roles may be reversed for a time, and that we might have to try a few new things – visual porn, a trip to our local sexy toy store, being more honest about what might be a turn on, and things like that.  He seemed to be more receptive to making the effort.

        He seems to be more shy about things sexual than he was when we were younger, but he has never been terribly experimental, much to my chagrin.  It’s tough to be flamboyant and be married to a person who is more conventional, but I guess that’s what a fantasy life is for!  He’s a wonderful man and the best friend I have ever had and I think we can make this work, as long as he’s willing to be more flexible and understanding about the changes we are BOTH going through. Having a fulfilling sexual realtionship with the one you love the most is a healthy and normal goal no matter what your age or what physical challenges you might be going through. 

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      • Dr. Dorree Lynn Dr. Dorree Lynn says

        Auralyte

        Bravo on your willingness to try mutual porn,toys and other joys, and on especially keeping your communication going. You are a lucky woman to be married to such a willing man and to be working together as a team. I applaud you. If a full physical has found nothing, and using them is not medically contraindicated, have you tried any of the ED pills? Some work for some men and for others don’t work at all, and some have side effects that don’t make taking them worth the possible results.  It’s a matter fo trial and error. Date nights and/or a little marriage or couples counseling is always worth a try. Best to both of you.

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