- Don’t fill the void with stuffing.
It’s tempting to react to the vacuum of the empty nest by filling it with random busyness. Don’t distract yourself from the hole with fluff. Instead, reach for something new and genuine. - Do name the theme for this new phase of your life.
Ask yourself: “What part of me am I going to express now? What new adventure am I going to be on?” Maybe you want to explore creativity in yourself next. For me, it was seeking deeper and more sustained connections with people. As a mom, I had dear friends, but people were lucky to see me every few months for a very quick flyby. Then, once my daughter was grown, I realized I could pour my energy into deeper connections with others–and I really wanted to do that. - Do start clearing out and SHEDing things you no longer need.
This will free you to move forward into your next phase. People who are ready to SHED share three characteristics:- They have a sense of a better future that they want, but can’t quite define.
- They’re afraid to pursue this notion of a better life. They don’t know if they can do it, if they deserve it, if they can pull it off.
- They feel weighted down by something, bogged down, stuck.
All these three things together mean you’re pretty much ready to SHED. All you have to do is name that specter of your future. Sometimes it’s just a word.
- Don’t think of clutter as junk.
I think of clutter as a point of entry into an old belief system, an attachment you have that represents something to you. Starting to dislodge these things and get unfrozen is transformational. Honoring that this stuff has meaning is an important part of the transformation process. - Don’t focus on the specific.
Don’t tell yourself, “I’m going to get this job” or”I’m going to work more hours.” Realize that this is about something much bigger than empty activity. It’s a new phase of your life and a new expression of yourself. So you need to think in broader, more general terms. - Do direct your energy away from your children.
This is profoundly difficult to do and it doesn’t mean ending your relationship with your children. You can have an adult relationship with your kids that is very rich and rewarding. But now is the time to be quiet with yourself and discover things you haven’t had a chance to express and pursue yet.
Has SHEDing your baggage changed YOUR life? Follow this link to read Julie Morgenstern’s personal SHEDing stories–and share your own!
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