We all know what it’s like to feel stuck. For me it was like trying to sprint through the LaBrea Tar Pits. The frustration was unbearable and doing more of the same didn’t change things even a little. Working harder wasn’t the solution either. For me, defining the problem accurately was the missing link. Now, whenever I feel stuck, I begin by figuring out the cause, so I can change it.
Here are some common villains:
- Missing vital information or resources.
With all the information at our fingertips, this should be a non-issue. Sometimes, however, we don’t look in the right places. Often what we really need to move on can be provided by another person who is familiar with our situation. It needs a personal touch. Connecting with doers is often a shortcut that short circuits this problem. - Settling for less because it seems easier.
It’s hard to generate creative ideas when you know you’re capable of better, but are afraid to go after what you really want. Paradoxically, settling for less may be harder-not easier-and in the long run, it costs a lot more. - Feeding fears instead of nurturing ideas.
I don’t know about you, but I had a lot more training in fear and avoidance than I did in nurturing and building. Sadly, I see too many people who have developed a real fondness for their fears and keep them well-fed. Once I had figured out how to grow an idea from a tiny seed into a plump and plucky reality, I discovered I could repeat it whenever I wanted. - Refusing to listen.
As any recovering addict can tell you, denial is a powerful force that keeps us repeating unhealthy behavior. Not listening to our own intuitive selves can keep us stuck, as can refusing to seek advice from someone we trust, someone who doesn’t have our emotional attachment to the problem. Of course, when we seek such help, it’s our obligation to listen, not argue for our limitations. - Turning every problem into an obstacle.
As Dr. Joy Browne (a professional at helping folks get unstuck) says, “Combine small problems into big one, and big ones into giant unsolvable monsters.” She also suggests that if all else fails, ignore people who offer you an escape plan.
Everyone gets stuck sometimes, but staying stuck is optional. Refuse to make it your fallback plan!
Here are five ways to jar yourself loose:
- Change the scenery
- Create a distraction-free zone
- Seek help and listen
- Create a new vision
- Be accountable to a few people whom you trust
How do you get unstuck?
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Agreed. I never thought I was vain until I had a mastectomy at age 39. I was devastated and told the doc I wanted to wake up with implants. Now at age 60, I am lopsided and wondering if I was just avoiding the inevitable. You get what you get and you
Sounds very interesting.
Spike, you are awesome! Love your perspective, thanks for sharing.
Right not I can use this. Thank you!!
This will helpful… it’ll get me started… Thank you.
I must confess I wrote this for myself and am delighted that it’s been helpful. Being stuck is so frustrating, but getting unstuck feels so liberating. I much prefer the latter! Glad you do, too.
It’s easy to put yourself in a box, but it’s a lot more fun to jump in the pool and not be afraid to try something new. I’ve not ever been afraid to attempt something new and different. They call me “the Jacqueline of all trades”. Fear of failure is what holds most people back. You won’t know until you try. Then, regardless of the outcome, you tried…and you have something new to talk about.
One of many reasons I did not quit when I retired…I just went where angels fear to tread, and started a new business – nutritional supplements and skin repair serums formulated on my own DNA needs! Healthy aging and wealthy living! And I don’t answer to anyone else – finally! I hate BOXES! Check it out and give me your opinion, Cecelia! http://www.mygenewize.com/bettycrosby. I love this company, these products and all the people I am meeting! Who knows what is beyond the next horizon? Certainly lots to talk about!
I look at my daughters life and it is so full and interesting. She makes life happen. Me, I am so stuck in the same routine. I go to work, come home, eat. Go to work, come home, eat. same oh, same oh, same oh!! I am bored, unhappy, depressed, tired, unmotivated……………
Sounds like you need a doggy and exercise work-out facility. I too. When I wasn’t employed I did a great workout at the Y. I miss those times terribly….now I walk my 83lb dog to push me out the door at night after work. Good luck-VickieP
I know EXACTLY how you feel. I’m in a dead end job with terrible pay but it has really good benefits and as you age you realize the importance of this. I work for the county which is a dependable (no layoffs, etc) job and that too today is a good thing to have. I get up on Monday mornings and strive for Friday and this goes on EVERY week. I have a heart to help old people and I do work PT (on weekends) for a company called Comfort Keepers. I am also a Hospice volunteer and would love to be a nursing home advocate but have no idea which way to turn. I have always been more of indian and not the chief so failure scares the bageezies out of me – so stepping out and making changes does not come easy for me.
There are so many posts here.I guess Im not alone.The dog thing really worked for me it helped alot.I cant move furniture around and DO NOT or are not interested in re-decorating.Weve live here for 30 yrs and have had enough of that.Besides my husband and I DO NOT agree on ANYTHING.
The lady thats being used I feel your pain.I do love my children though sometimes I think God put me here for that reason to help them.I draw a line with them though.
I pray you feel more loved…God loves you my dear uncondtionally.
I think maybe I would like to love myself.Brenda one of the things I think of most is all I could have already accomplished in life and havent.
Thanks Barbara you hit the nail on the head and I so want to get out the box and jump in the pool.Thanks ladys we are not alone.
I will get more motivated now since my fave season is here Fall i love being outdoors enjoying this beautiful crisp season
I don’t have much $$, so I have redirected my energy to moving furniture and relocating decorations around the house even moving the curtains, I cannot tell you how much its changed the look of the house without buying a thing. That empty nester thing is some tough stuff to deal with but if I sit down, I’m done.
It sounds good, but what is you haven’t the pep and motiviation to a lot of moving furniture around??
You’re right, I’m moving it while I still can. Animals/pet are great, tho—nothing like a beckoning dog to make you motivated and rescue dogs especially the more aged ones need good homes. (but that takes $$, too)
I know that it is important to have something to look forward to. Start off with something simple like going to the movies, window shopping at the mall, next thing you know your planning a trip to Vegas or even Europe. I go out walking about 4 or 5 times a week and use that time to clear my head. Sometimes I hit some pretty black days, so before I go into the black hole, I have to look at myself and figure out why I am this way. Its seems simple, it works for me.
all i have is my dogs love…everyone else in my life uses me
Have you considered putting a stop to it? Is this something you want to discuss more? You sound pretty unhappy.
This is an awesome website stock full of great info from yoga, meditation, feel better vibes and loads more, something for everyone…dweston
This is a very good topic!!
I too have got stuck, and feeling afraid to move on..i should have done that years ago,and i will admit it..now,iam getting out of bed in the mornings,going for a walk,letting myself feel nature around me,but i have also built a big wall around myself..i think because i have been through so much right now,but i understand that we do that to protect ourselves,i do plan to change what i can,,going to join a swimclass arobics next week..also open to books to read,and maybe a part time job…
bren
I am still stuck in a job that is boring, boring, boring. I may have a chance at another job with better pay and PT hours (which I really want the PT work) but the benefits that I have now are very good. I never see people mention benefits when they talk about starting a business, or moving on to something they “want” or “like” to do. I need the benefits and will end up working just for the benefits at this new job and yet, they won’t be as good as the ones I have now. Do I play it safe and stay at my present job or do I make the jump and not worry about the better benefits? My husband has some ins but the policy is pretty bad. Does anyone else worry about this kind of thing? Please fill me in on your thinking and how you handle these little worries.
Hello everyone. In case you haven’t yet seen it, here is a collection of great advice from Vibrant Nation members:
Women 50+ Know: How to get unstuck
wow,I didnt realize there were so many posts here,didnt realize its been so long since Ive written either.Guess we all got busy.I did but not much different.Not feeling as stuck but really in a way Iam.Guess I dont really want the change.At this age?Really?Money?Job?Yep stuck.
Anyway I know there are some that are way worse off.You gals out there that have their degrees and make good money and have made good with their life.Bless you sister your more woman than me.
Those that are worse off than me…dont know what to say.cdraudt56 you still out there?Doing ok?Brenda 8 how bout you.Still stuck?