Myth #1: Using a vibrator decreases sensitivity over time, so I won’t have orgasms as easily.
Fact: Actually, it’s the opposite. As we age, we get less blood flow to the clitoris and vagina, and the vaginal walls get thinner. Most of us need more arousal time and more time to reach orgasm after we’re aroused. Vibrators enhance sensitivity by increasing blood flow to the genitals quickly and powerfully, and by directly stimulating the clitoris. (The clitoris is our #2 pleasure hot spot — #1 is our brain!)
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Myth #2: If I use a vibrator, I’ll end up prefering it to my partner.
Fact: Not a chance. A vibrator may give you quicker orgasms (that’s what it’s made for, after all), but it doesn’t cuddle well or kiss or laugh, and pillow talk with a vibrator is really boring. It either buzzes or it doesn’t. It’s a dull companion — except when you need a sexual assist.
Myth #3: My male lover says I should reach orgasm “naturally” and not have to use a sex toy.
Fact: I hate those “should’s.” Point out to him where his penis contacts you during intercourse vs. where your clitoris resides. And when he arouses you manually, which I hope he does, point out that he’s less likely to get carpal tunnel syndrome from your long arousal time if he incorporates a vibrator in arousal play. That’s right, it’s not a choice between him or it — make it a threesome: the two of you using the vibrator together.
Myth #4: Sex toys are dangerous. I had two friends who burned themselves using them.
Fact: The cheaper ones are cheap for a reason. They generally have no quality standards in materials or construction — they’re called “novelty items,” and I don’t recommend them. If your eyes widen at the price of the vibrators I recommend at the bottom of my blog, consider that I only recommend safe products of medical-grade materials, careful construction, and the best design and function for our older (still sexually passionate!) bodies. You’re paying for research & development and high-quality material that won’t degrade, leach chemicals, break, overheat, or burn. That’s also why I recommend shopping in woman-friendly sex shops (brick-and-mortar or online) with an emphasis on health and education, like the ones I link to.
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Thanks for the info. Due to medications I take, the threesome is our favorite way to go. We call the vibrator BOB (battery operated boyfriend). lol. Frankly, my husband prefers having to do less work himself. lol
I wonder what the male lover in #3 would say if his woman told him that he should be able to get an erection naturally, every time, at any age and not have to use Viagra. lol
For a lot more about sex toys, including my up-close-and-personal product reviews with photos (of the toys, NOT of me using the toys, don’t worry!), see the sex toys label on my blog.
- Joan
My husband calls our vibrator our “Little Friend”! I grin to myself whenever he says that!
I like this. My husband called my favorite vibrator “My buddy!”
I’ve had a vibrator for several years and because of the lack of male partners it hqs helped thru the periods of solitude. It will never take the place of a warm body but it keeps me feeling good. I am now 59 years old and I am still looking for that Special Someone so my vibrator will be ther for me until I do find him
I’ve had a vibrator for several years and because of the lack of male partners it hqs helped thru the periods of solitude. It will never take the place of a warm body but it keeps me feeling good. I am now 59 years old and I am still looking for that Special Someone so my vibrator will be ther for me until I do find him
I have a vibrator also for the first time and I’m 50+ not because I couldn’t afford it, or had sexual partners, but because I didn’t want to use a shared computer to order one. It satisfies me because i don’t have to worry about STDs, pregnant, or an attached man who I cannot get rid of.I don’t miss it; I haven’t had sex in so long, I don’t care. I get satisfaction just having a conversation with my male friends about life experiences. One doesn’t feel pressure when talking to a friend.
I’ve had a Panabrator for years- over 10 at least. It’s the best thing since sliced bread. Also, since it wasn’t designed for intimacy, you can leave it out and no one will be the wiser. You’ve got to plug it in, but that’s a small price to pay for what you get from it. Battery devices just never worked very well for me.