3 ways to perk up a stalled love life

Here are three tips to perk up a stalled sex life:

1. Make each experience a sensory indulgence.
   That can be as simple as a glass of wine to get in the mood. Just don’t finish the whole bottle until afterward or that could cause other problems.) Go all out with satin sheets and nightgown. Whatever decadence is for you, indulge yourself. Just make sure that your particular indulgence works for your partner as well.
2. Address any physical issues that are negatively impacting your experience.
   For men we know the most commonly addressed issue is erectile dysfunction. It has become a household phrase. If that’s the issue for you and your partner, consult your doctor. You’re not telling him/her anything he/she hasn’t heard before. If your partner is too embarrassed to seek medical attention, do it for him and report back what you’ve learned. Help each other out here. Certainly there are other physical issues for men, but the majority can be conquered through professional medical attention. If your current doctor can’t help you, find one who can. Make sure you focus on the fact that any physical problems are strictly that – they are in no way a measure of manhood! 

   For women, vaginal dryness is probably the most common problem. It doesn’t mean you’re too old to be sexually active – it means you need to figure out how to fix it to keep your sexual encounters from becoming painful. Sometimes hormones are the answer – and sometimes they’re not enough. There is also a two-week estradiol treatment that can eliminate dryness along with numerous vaginal lubrication products. Figure out what works for you and start enjoying yourself again. Talk to your doctor for any comfort issues connected with intimacy and if your doctor can’t help, find one who can.

3. Address any emotional issues.
   Some of these may be new and some may be clinging on from your youth. (Twenty-year-olds have baggage too!) A few quick tips: 
   • Problem with libido? A little light reading can help with that. Sometimes it’s as simple as reading one of Janet Evanovich’s Stephanie Plum novels – or maybe you need something a little more hard-core (sorry about the pun). Figure out what works for you and use it. Just make sure that your partner doesn’t get carried away trying to help and find something that actually ends up being a turn-off. Remember guys – sometimes the light romance works better than the heavy duty explicit stuff.
   • Not feeling sexy these days? Perhaps a sexy new nightgown (and don’t forget that glass of wine) will make you feel sexy and feminine. If things have evolved too far for that to work – turn out the lights or get yourself a blindfold. If your partner is interested in intimacy with you don’t doubt his feelings of attraction and impose your critical views of yourself in the equation – find a way to let yourself enjoy his attention.
   • He’s not doing it how you like it? Sorry, you’re gonna have to tell him – don’t make him guess!