- Biography is hard!
When you’re writing a biography, you carry around another person’s life in your head all the time. And you spend more time thinking about them than you do your own life — by a wide margin. You spend 12 hours a day or more inhabiting the mind of another person, and then you get maybe an hour or two for yourself — if that. It’s not a logical way to live, and you have to have a special temperament to do it, and I really don’t have that temperament. So, I’m not doing that again. - The relationship between the biographer and the subject is very difficult
Both the writer and the subject of the biography want to control the end result, but it’s really the author’s prerogative to decide. My name was on the book, and I was going to write it with integrity. And that was the deal from the beginning — that I had full editorial control. But in order to get through the necessary stages of cooperation to write a book like this, both people have to cooperate on something where they know that, in the end, they may not be friends — and they may not even like each other. So you have a very tense situation in which both people have great good will toward each other, and yet they know that it may all come to tears in the end. That is what happened. Warren’s not happy with the book, because it is a truthful book.I was placed in a very awkward position, because I went into this not realizing that I had the same awe-struck opinion of him as most people who don’t know him. Just “Oh my God, the great Warren Buffett.” And, you know, over the course of five years, I realized that he, like everyone else, is human. I saw his humanity. And that’s what I wrote about. There’s nothing in the book that’s shocking or that anyone would find offensive, but Warren’s used to being portrayed as perfect in the media, and I portrayed him as human. People who read the book will see that he was emotionally abused as a child, which made him so sensitive to criticism that he has no tolerance for it. Not a low tolerance, no tolerance. And he perceives that he’s being criticized when he’s not.
- It can ruin a friendship
I realized early on that things might not work out well. Warren had long journalistic relationships with writers, and then they’d write one word in one story that he didn’t like, and that was it. He’d never speak to them again. Unless the journalist became a real sycophant, they could not maintain a relationship with him after anything was published. So I was frightened the entire time.
Of course, for him it was anxiety producing, because he only behaves this way out of fear. And yet he wanted the book written, and it was an important book that needed to be written.
I had empathy for him, tremendous empathy.
But in order to create the book that should be written, we had tacitly agreed to sacrifice any sort of friendly relationship.
The other part that made it hard was this widespread perception by others that the reason I was chosen to write Warren’s biography was because I was a bimbo, because I wasn’t a professional journalist so I would write what he wanted. In fact, there are many people who have assumed that I had an affair with him. That just irritated the hell out of me! When there’s the slightest pretext, people say that. And it’s completely untrue.
You know, for people to think that the only reason I was able to do it was because I have blonde hair and whatever is really degrading — not just to me, but to all women. It’s really offensive.
Quit cher whinin’–at least you got the opportunity, and with it came a notable title in your arsenal.
Choose dead subjects from now on. Easier to handle.
you sound like my literary agent
I just wrote a short article on a young political candidate, who may very well become a known political figure. I can relate somewhat to the comments that you have made about your experience, Buffet’s response and your own response. It seems that it is somewhat easier if you can keep your distance from the subject. So what do you do after you’ve done all that you can to re-tell certain moments of a person’s life accurately?
It’s still a matter of perspective. Like the room where one person looks huge in one corner, and in the other corner, another person looks like a miniature version. They are both the same height when you stand them next to each other. It’s all a matter of where you stand to look at them, that makes them appear large or small.
I’m still finding out what I write best. The written word has a most encompassing power when it reflects perspectives of the truth. That power is a flux that can hit the heart with an emotive energy that cannot be retained, once it is released. All the best to you!
Sorry m’dear — but I would probably kneel at the great one’s feet if I could spend an hour with him. And you spent 5 years?? Be greatful!! There is a very real thing called ‘stature’, ‘class’ and a few more things one could say about The Warren and until you have walked in his shoes….!! It is a well known fact that journalists, writers, authors and even poets would go for the jugular if it sells the book. Beeee Cuzzzz that is the bottom line right? Say anything, write anything that will get the books flying off the shelves. His name, career, accomplishments, big heart and sensibilities are enough for the book to sell well — don’t need to ‘pad’ it. Or create ‘grief’ for yourself to promote it. The man loves ice cream – still lives in the house he bought centuries ago, smiles a lot and has the body language of one who is content in his own skin. Top marks as far as I am concerned. Say ‘thank you’ and shut up. That’s what my mother used to say to me when I couldn’t see the forest for the trees.
P.S. Don’t believe for a minute you wouldn’t write another biography!! That’s what you do!
Ooh, “well know fact that journalists, writers, authors and even poets would go for the jugular if it sells the book”? Sorry, I have to take issue with that, because it’s an unfair and untrue generalization. I think Alice has a right to feel some angst after a five-year project that entails the stress of getting it right on a huge scale. It’s difficult enough for a brief bio inside and below the fold. There are all kinds of writers who would sell their souls and their children for the right price, but not all of us are like that. We don’t all abandon our values and ethics “for the story,” and I resent the ones who make it appear that we “all” do. Ugh.
You know Maggie De your sentiments may be part of the problem in our less than honest society. In this time of unbelievable greed, Warren Buffet is certainly someone who generates an aura of honesty and integrity and is very much respected. But Mr. Buffet wanted his story told–he wanted a biography. If he cannot accept the flaws his biographer saw and wrote about, he should write his own story. She is obviously still in awe of him and that isn’t usually the case after you have spent so much time with someone, but she wants to talk about her hurt at the reaction of someone she cares about. She had a choice between writing honestly or playing it safe with Mr. Buffet and maintaining his friendship. To her credit she chose the former.
We tend to demonize or idolize and I believe Mr. Buffet has been idolized so much he cannot ascribe to the fact that he has some human frailities–and he cannot deal with the fact that others might see he’s not perfect. But there is no such thing as perfection, is there? To not be vulnerable is to be accepted, or loved, not for our perfection but despite our imperfections.
Alice, you know you did the right thing and you may grieve your loss of his friendship, but, once you accepted the job you had no choice. No ,like one other responder, taking on the job of writing an honest biography of a friend is a very precarious endeavor. It could come out no other way.
Maggie De, if I had the chance I would love to shake the hand of Warren Buffet and tell him of my respect. But I would never kneel at his, or any other person’s, feet.
Dah!? Alice, come on – you really thought you were going to write a biography about someone like Warren Buffet and come out unscathed? I would say that’s in the top 5 rules for writers – don’t write a biography about a friend – unless they are deceased.
one thing I would like to add to this string. I was not a journalist when I took on this project. Warren recruited me. At the time, I worked on Wall Street as an analyst. He likes the way I write, and think (his words to the New York Times). He convinced me that I could do it. I had *no idea* how difficult writing was, how challenging it would be! Nor did I realize any of the dynamics between a writer and subject. You can say that was naive. Being recruited by Warren Buffett was simply dazzling. So yes, I thought I would come out unscathed — for the first six months or so. As I learned the skills of journalism and started to understand the story, it felt like I really was Alice in Wonderland, falling down the rabbit hole. There were some very tough choices. At one point I almost abandoned the project. And yes, don’t write a biography about a friend is one of the top 5 rules for writers – absolutely.
You know, after reading a few of the responses – frankly I am amazed – My take on your honest thought here, is not one of complaining, nor of one of whoah is me – it is one of honesty – letting us know that the entire project, even though you both agreed on the concept of the book caused you a dear friendship.
Yes, I would agree that SOME journalists are out for fame – I in know way took anything that you said here that way. Portraying a very visible person – an icon in people’s eyes is a difficult thing because the perception is one of flawlessness, yet these very people are just that people too.
I do look up to many teachings by Warren Buffet – but I do know that he is a person, and he has a history and he was not always an icon.
I commend you for stepping outside your box and truly giving this your all. The way you worked through the issues are very inspiring indeed and the sadness at you loosing a good and dear friend over this does bring sadness.
Many people who down play, or say things that just simply are not true – or categorize others, are not to be listened to. There is no way that they would step outside the box and do something that their heart has told them to do. It is much easier to criticize then to commend and look at the positive.
So, my hats off to you, for sharing this experience, for tackling this issue and realizing that you are not cut out for the heart wrenching and sadness that it does bring.
Obviously, you are a very caring person.
I totally agree with you. I’m apalled at some of the harsh comments made to someone who was simply opening herself up & sharing her feelings. Whoa!
Perhaps in the near future, the friendship will re-materialize with a much greater sense of wisdom and respect for one another.
All the Best