Some hard, cold facts about going gray:
- Very few women have naturally fabulous great gray hair.There is not just one shade of grey, and very few women have naturally fabulous great gray hair like supermodel Carmen or actress Judy Dench. You can have gorgeous icy silvery gray or tarnished looking steel-wool gray, luminous white hair or dingy-looking gray that’s more old stainless steel than platinum. And surprise! Lots of gray-haired women you think are “natural” actually go to a salon and have the color brightened or enhanced with cool toned streaks to give the color that appealing look.
- Gray hair is coarse and lacks shine.You need every bit as much maintenance to keep the texture shiny, glossy and healthy-looking as you do when you color your hair. This means moisturizing shampoos and conditioners, hair masks to deeply hydrate, and blow-drys because smooth hair reflects more light.
- Gray hair that is just grown long looks neglected.Gray hair that is just grown long looks neglected – as if you just don’t care anymore. You can wear gray hair long, but it should be cut long to add style and polish. Or you can decide to go for a shoulder-length bob or layers – but don’t think you’re off the style hook.
In other words, if you decide to go gray, fine – but do it with style and with the knowledge that your self-confidence about your looks comes not from the gray but from how well you gray.
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Yes I get that you meant in the work place, not dating. But the original poster did use the example of Julia Roberts getting what she wants from a man by using her femininity. I don't see that as strong. As you know she was a hooker? This comparison 
I did gray for several years-it was easy but my mom & I live together and I didn’t want to be mistaken for her sister! So now have a perky short red hair cut with my naturally silver bangs.
I totally get it. You needed to personalize your look and it sounds like you did it.
I love my natural highlights, all 90% of it!
After reading and article in More a few years ago, and buying and reading the book by the same author (sorry I can’t remember her name now and I’ve loaned that book to other in need ;-}) I decided to let me very colored hair return to it’s natural state. It was an experiment – I really wanted to know what my real color was after all these years. Working with my stylist to keep it fashionable, and looking nice, after almost a year of regular trims and NO COLORING I have to say, it looks great!! It’s been almost 3 years now and I love it. My stylist loves it and has told me she would never color it again. As for being course with more texture, nothing could be further from the truth. It’s sitll the same baby fine thin hair I’ve always had. I was a little worried when it came time to look for a new job but I’ve already been hired by a company that wants someone “experienced” and my resume spoke for itself. So much for all that worry.
I have to say also, my husband used to have very course, thick hair. But since going completely silver, his hair is soft and of course, a little thinner. But it looks great and feels wonderful as well.
I am so glad I took the chance and that my stylist worked with me. I’ll stay authentic!!
I, unfortunately, did not gray well. Even though I conditioned and kept it styled, my hair was dull and lackluster. I decided to color it and ended up with that dull red “I-colored-my-hair-and ruined-it” look. I recently added blonde-gold highlights to my hair and the result is fantastic. My face looks ten years younger and the colors all blend. I am not one to spend a lot of time each day styling my hair, so the added highlights give me some added body with less effort. Actually, I was looking forward to gray hair, as my mother had beautiful salt and pepper gray hair. However, my mother’s hair was much darker than mine and I think that makes a difference.
Guess I’m one of the lucky ones…..My hair is a beautiful “shining silver”, it is silky and shiny, it doesn’t “age me” and it styles better now than it ever did before turning silver. I started to go grey at 16 and did the color thing from then until age 42; then I decided it was just too expensive and too much trouble to go to the salon for touch ups every 2 weeks (my hair was rich auburn and grows FAST). I love my silver now and I will never color it again.
I have natural “silver highlights”, too. Sometimes I think about coloring my hair have neither the time nor interest in the maintenance that would come with it. My hair is healthy, I have a wonderful stylist and I get lots of compliments about how it looks. My biggest disappointment, as a MORE subscriber, is how rare it is to see other silver haired women depicted in a publication that is supposedly directed towards women over 50. Most often the articles feature women without a trace of grey. In some issues, the only image of a woman with silver hair is in advertisements for Alzheimer’s medication. I will truly be able to embrace my silver hair when women who look like me are depicted in the media, at least in women’s magazines, as being competant, vibrant and interesting.
Hi Loree
Since I am no longer at MORE I can’t speak for their current editorial policy regarding women with gray hair. However I can tell you that Cindy Joseph a Ford model you see all the time in commercials on TV has beautiful long silvery hair ( you’d recognize her in a minute ) and she was one of my favorite beauty and fashion models for shoots. I wish there was less age-ism reagrding women 50 + in cosmetic, beauty and fashion advertising. Although it’s great to see celebs in their 60s and 50s like Diane Keaton and Ellen DeGeneres in beauty ads I’d love to see Kim Alexis, Nancy Donahue, Karen Bjornson, Julie Wolfe and all those terrific mature supermodels again in ads. I just finished working with all of them on my book project and I can tell you they still look amazing.
my hair fell out after chemo so I had no choice but to change. I was always a natural blonde with thick straight blonde locks. After the chemo it grew back very curly and the most beautiful different shades of grey – I am very proud of it !
Lucky you that your gray is beautiful and not drab ! Lots of my readers decide to keep their good gray after chemo when their hair grows in. The change in texture is a frequent side effect of the drugs as well and can offer an exciting opportunity to explore new looks.
Me, too! I really enjoyed being bald – it sure was a freeing experience! And, it was a chance to see what color my hair really was after coloring it for so many years. What it was was white. Yikes. And, curly. My favorite story: After my hair was growing back in I said to my dau., ‘I just can’t get this one piece to lay flat’ – she laughed and said “Mom it is a CURL”-jeez I never had one of those before. Now, alas, it is straight as a board again. And, gray. I learned how unimportant hair really is, so I don’t fret over what color it is, although I did have some lowlights added to brighten it up. My question is why there aren’t more hair care products for gray hair?
Two things women with newly gray hair need are a violet-tinted shampoo to counteract any yellow undertones that may appear and a deep moisturizing hair mask to use once a week to keep the texture silky. Try mixing Clairol Shimmer Lights Shampoo or Phytargent Whitening Shampoo ( both are violet in color but won’t turn your hair blue so don’t worry ! ) 50/50 with your usual shampoo once a week. Get your hands on a tube of Garnier Fructis Triple Nutrition 3- Minute Undo Dryness Reversal Treatment with olive and avocado oils and shea butter to keep your curls glossy and smooth.
I went through all the growing out of my gray–it was only white in the front around my face. The back is still dark. I stayed with it enjoying being ‘authentic’. But with my white white skin (no sun due to skin cancer) and white hair I looked totally washed out even with brighter makeup.
So now back to coloring. Red hair makes me look healthier.
Me with my RED hair. ; )
You look great ! Red is definitely the way to go for you – it adds warmth and color the way blush and a pop of color on your lips would but 24/7.