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Women don't realize how easy it is to keep a man happy. It's really simple, but the number one thing is, Don't expect him to be a woman. More tips:
- Understand that your man's brain is different from yours.
Women need to learn that men are much simpler than women. Much simpler. Anne Moir and David Jessel, authors of the book Brain Sex: The Real Difference Between Men and Women,had a brain imaging center where they did thousands upon thousands of brain scans. What they found was that when a man is relaxing, 70% of his brain is quiet. It's just shut off. In contrast, when a woman is relaxing, she's still thinking, thinking, thinking. This is why it takes her a while to reach orgasm. She has to switch those circuits, whereas the man is ready to go because he's already in a more relaxed state.
- Make your man a hero, not a girlfriend.
Stop trying to make your man into a girlfriend. It's a big waste of time to try to teach your man to speak to you or treat you the way another woman would. Men require a lot of training and repetition to do something like free throws from the baseline. They'll sit there and practice that for hours, because it's a simple task to put that ball in that basket. But to try to make over your man into a girlfriend just doesn't work.
My goal with women, vis-a-vis men, is to teach them how to make their men winners--to teach them how to make their men heroes. Get your need for conversation, attention, shopping, color, flowers, music and chick flicks met with other women. Do not put that burden on your man. - Help your man become multi-orgasmic.
Men can learn to be multi-orgasmic, just like women. However, they need to learn to control their ejaculation so they can have an orgasm without ejaculation. This is not a popular option. If you bring it up to the average guy, he'll say, "No way am I doing that." But it can be done, with practice. - Read Mama Gena's Owner's and Operator's Guide to Men
by Regina Thomashauer.
This book contains the absolute secret of getting what you want from the men in your life. Plus it's extraordinarily fun and cheeky and short. Read it! - Learn what gives you pleasure--so you can teach him.
Have a self-pleasuring session twice a week to learn what works for you. Think of your body as a pleasure laboratory. The book The Illustrated Guide to Extended Massive Orgasm (Positively Sexual)is a great resource as you discover how much pleasure you can let in. Tantra: The Art of Conscious Loving
by my good friend Caroline Muir, is also very practical and helpful, with very specific instructions on how to wake up the pelvs, Sacred Spot, and clitoris.
- Take control.
Women need to know this: Men follow directions. So, a woman needs to set the tone with the guy. We've been waiting our whole lives for the guy to sweep us off our feet and make it happen for us, but that's not going to happen. Our job is to train the guy to do what will please us. Say, "Honey, this is what I would like." - Make it fun.
As you ask for what you want--repeatedly if necessary--never do so with resentment. It's got to be a fun invitation. This means getting over the martyr role: "I do the dishes, I do all the shopping, I balance the checkbook and you're there watching the game." You've got to get over that. You man will only respond if you're not angry--otherwise he's going to run for cover. - Don't overthink it.
Whenever I've started to think that I had an idea of what my brothers or my sweetie were thinking, I've always been wrong. They are never thinking that--they're thinking about a business plan or an engine. They're not thinking five thoughts at once like I am. The mind can be a really bad neighborhood and you shouldn't go there alone! - Work together to tap into your sexual energy.
The pelvis, Sacred Spot, and clitoris are the creative center of our bodies. This is where babies are made, and even after 50, we can use that same energy to fuel the rest of our lives. Men are all about lighting that pilot light--they're playful rascals and very fun, and they help us feel juicy and sexy. We just need to know how to work with them in a way that doesn't make us crazy!
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Wise Weight Woman said to
Dr. Christiane Northrup
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