Before I opened my company, I was the VP/Creative Director at a large advertising agency and Curves (the women’s fitness chain) was my account. I loved working on this piece of business as it gave me the chance to talk with hundreds of Curves members who had completely changed their bodies and their lives.
I don’t know about you, but I’ve always assumed the happy, bikini-clad women in the “after” photos of most weight-loss success stories were freaks of nature with incredible willpower – not to mention good genetics — the rest of us lack. So seeing all of these beautifully average, normal, every-day women achieve such incredible results made me sit up and take notice.
After about 4 years of conducting interviews, I realized that there were a few similarities in these women’s uniquely personal stories. I’ve listed 10 of those similarities below. I’ve tried to avoid notes about what to eat or how much to exercise. For the most part, we know what we should do. Doing it is the hard part. Here are a few things that seemed to help these wonderful women push past the tough stuff.
| 1. They play nice. Women with the best success stories tend to be good to themselves. It may seem to have little to do with losing weight, but I’ve noticed it time and again. Successful women don’t beat themselves up (too bad) when they fall off their weight-loss plan. They are also frequently and passionately involved with helping other people reach their own goals. Call it karma or call it coincidence but being good to others seems to help the pounds roll off. Granted, ‘nice’ can be a hard act to play on just 1600 calories a day (I myself tend to be a grouchy dieter), but that’s where step #2 comes in. |
| 2. They don’t go it alone. It’s been proven in studies that people lose more weight when they’re part of a group or when they exercise with a friend. Successful women either find a way to enlist the help of people they live with, or they find friends & groups outside the home to keep their resolve bolstered and their chin up. Exercising with a buddy really seems to help. Women will blow off their own workout in a heartbeat, but if there’s a friend waiting at the gym or the walking trail, they always show up. |
| 3. They dump the chumps. Of course, not all diet and exercise buddies are created equal. And when it comes to life changes, neither are all friends. The smart women I met realized that if they were hanging out with folks who ate too much and moved too little, they did, too. They also noticed that some friends and family members were unsupportive or even negative. And so they re-thought their social circles. It’s been said that you are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with, so edit your speed-dial carefully. If your friends are negative or addicted to fried food and milkshakes, put them on hold for a while. |
| 4. They keep a firm grip on reality. I’ve noticed that very few of the successful losers use my method of tracking weight. I call it the “pants method” and it essentially involves measuring myself by how my pants fit. The problem being that by the time the zipper tells me I’ve gained, it seems easier to buy a bigger size than to diet. Successful women, on the other hand, are not afraid to confront the truth. They weigh themselves a few times a week so they know they’re on track. They write down what they eat in food journals. They don’t lie to themselves about “just a few bites of ice cream” or “water weight.” |
| 5. One word: Water. I have seen very few people lose weight and keep it off while drinking lots of sodas and juices — diet or otherwise. They do, however, carry around very big bottles of water. |
| 6. Two Words: Baby steps. I’ve talked with women who have lost 20 pounds and women who have lost over 100, and none of them did it all at once. They took it a few pounds at a time and they had a patient, long-term attitude from the beginning. They added exercise little by little. They kept challenging themselves along the way and they didn’t give up. |
| 7. They get back on the horse. Again and again. When these women did feel like giving up, they gave themselves a break, cried into their Haggan-Daaz, and ate whatever they wanted for a few days. Then they got back on the plan. And that, my friends, is what separates the size 8s from the rest of us. |
| 8. Three words: Big belly laughs. The laughs are big, not the bellies. If ever someone was in need of a sense of humor, it’s a middle-aged dieter. One woman I met asked all of her friends for lists of their favorite funny movies and books. And she enjoyed a steady diet of them while losing 30 pounds. As I’ve said before, laughter burns calories, so try to find a way to do it often. |
| 9. They celebrate the fringe benefits. No one I’ve talked to spent their entire dieting career counting down the pounds. At some point they all realized that there was life between their starting weight and their goal weight. The successful women I met enjoyed the side-effects of a healthier life along the way. They raved about the increase in energy. They showed me their muscles (many of them had never had a muscle before!) They enjoyed how exercising helped them fall asleep easier at night and stay asleep until the alarm went off. A lot of the women who had given up sodas for water were amazed at how much better their skin looked. Each of them found little things to enjoy on the way to their big goal. And that made all the difference. |
| 10. They plan to succeed. These savvy women know that fitting into their favorite jeans does not just happen by itself. So they think about the day ahead. They take carrots and healthy snacks to work. If they know they’re going to be tempted by the spread at a cocktail party, they eat before they go. (It’s not always glamorous, this weight-loss business.) They shop on a full stomach and go with a list, and they leave the junk food in the store rather than bringing it home. And, let’s face it, they often order salad instead of the fried calamari appetizer and the Potato-Ricotta Gnocchi. Guess what? They planned it that way long before they ever pulled up to the restaurant. |
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Sounds very interesting.
Spike, you are awesome! Love your perspective, thanks for sharing.
Great article with some very good tips. It comes down to replacing bad habits with good habits step by step, with the help of our friends! Thank you.
I was a non exerciser until I went to Curves following a session of physical therapy for my knees. Exercise is good for that too. I have gained so much muscle mass. I don’t crave the same things. My weight is coming off a bit at a time, but I’m not conscious of dieting. I exercise at Curves three times a week and try to keep active the other days. If my tush hits the chair, I try to get up again in just a few minutes. It feels great.
When I DIET, I immediately start feeling deprived of whatever I’m not eating. So, I just exercise and lose that way.
Powerful,, upbeat article. That being said Number 3 deeply concerned me. If I had to “dump the chumps” whenever I wanted to lose weight, then I would rather be heavy. A woman would not be ‘successful’ if she plucked some of the buds from her bouquet of friends when they were a ‘bad influence’ and then pick them up again when she wanted to socialize and was fit.
Just when did we selfishly start throwing away people because we don’t have enough common sense and control our own behaviour? Just blame “the others”. You think that they do not deal with that every day of their lives these days. Treated as though fat, overweight, etc. were the equivalent of the lepers of biblical days. Their other wonderful character traits being discounted by every pound.
While statistically what you say in #3 might be true. I would suggest that it should be modified considerably. Women have to stop the abuse we have starting putting on our sisters who are less than perfect. Encourage them when we can and just love them. They may or may not choose to follow ‘our’ behaviour or just be ready to cheer us on as good friends will do.
I have far too much more to say on the above, but will end with….. ”Heavy” has become the equivalent of “bad; evil; lazy, ugly” in our world. In marriages we accuse men of being ‘abusive’ when they criticize their wives in such a way; leave them for younger, thinner women. Whatever happened to positive reinforcement for all? Negative treatment breeds more negativity. In this case it appears to be o.k. because the women we are leaving behind deserve it by being heavy. Plus after they have been deserted for a while they will really appreciate it when we deem to spend time with them again when we are fit. (but not much erst we ‘catch’ their habits) Think! Take on your own responsibilities and bodies.
Totally agree with above comment. Some were good tips but #3, no. Statistically, yes, I know, statistically if you hang out with overeaters you are more likely to overeat.
But my friends are not statistics and I’m not gonna dump them just because they are fat.
Over the years, my three closest friends and I have taken turns being the thinnest (I’m that one now, mostly due to tips #4, 5, 7 and 9).
The one lady who is usually the thinnest has packed on some pounds waiting for a hip replacement. Should I dump her untill she’s back in shape?
Friend 2 lost about 50 pounds when she broke up with her long-time partner. She was thinnest for a while. Guess she should have dumped us then, but she has a new man, is happy again, and has regained the weight and then some. Guess we should dump her now, eh?
Friend 3, well she was really slim for while (her son is dr. specializing in obesity, he put her on a very effective diet) but she gained a bunch back when she quit smoking.
I wouldn’t dump any of these ladies, even if you promised me I’d wake up tomorrow with the body of a 20 year old supermodel. Besides which, I would have ZERO friends. Tip #3 just sucks.
Thank you Stellaaa, I was thinking that I had it all wrong all by myself. Just the term “Dump the Chumps” hurts my ears.
I also must say that when I lost weight I received more kudos and encouragement from those people we are calling chumps.
Yes, I know the statistics, however, I say let’s change the statistics. This alternative is unacceptable. To lose weight on the back of many incredible woman is just not acceptable in my world. When did the term ‘friends’ come with ‘exceptions’. I would like to hear from the author of this article. Can you see our point. We are not stupid, however we are also not unkind.
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