browse content
- VN book club
- postcards to our younger selves
- our blog circle
- love it! lists
- live it! lists
- women 50+ know this
I’ve owned and ridden horses since I was a child, but for the first half of my life, horses were a relatively casual hobby. I did mostly trail riding, several days a week through age 40. At that point, I was living in Dallas with my husband and daughter. We had our own place to keep the horses, but I found it rather lonely. I was working and I had plenty of friends but none who shared my interest in horses. I’m a horse person, and horse people tend to be very single minded about horses. It was hard not to have like-minded people to talk with and share my passion. Then, about 11 years ago, we moved to Houston for my husband’s job and to be closer to my family. I joined a new stable, and my interest in horses was re-ignited in a completely new way.
My education and professional training is in teaching. I have a degree in secondary science education from the University of Texas in Austin. But until our move to Houston, I had only ever taught full-time for one year. The rest of my work experience was as an account manager for a software accounting firm. I taught part-time to help defray the cost of my horses’ upkeep, but that was it. After our move to Houston, I realized that my horses’ new stable had a slightly different clientele from what I had seen in Dallas. For some reason, here in Houston, the stable had fewer child riders and many more women riders who were 40, 50, and even 60 years old. Many of these women were complete beginners, while others hadn’t been on a horse in decades and were trying to re-learn, in a different body, what they had learned as children. They were nervous and, in many cases, frustrated.
I love horses so much and I really wanted these women to enjoy their horses too, so I started offering my help. This turned out to be a lot of fun, and eventually I was coaching women riders at my stable on a regular basis. I was drawing on my training and experience as a teacher, but combining it with my love of horses – the perfect role for me.
A relationship counselor – for women and their horses
Horse trainer or teacher is probably too strong to describe the unofficial role I have at Lone Star Stables. I would describe myself as a horse mentor -- a relationship counselor between women riders and their horses. Most women my age (I’m 51) aren’t really physically able to jump on a horse and just ride down the road bareback any more. Maybe they did that when they were younger, but their bodies are different now. Also, I see many women make a common mistake: they see a pretty horse and buy it without considering whether that horse is necessarily the best horse for them. So they end up
with a beautiful horse that is too much for them to handle. They start out very excited about horseback riding, and then their motivation drops as they realize they can’t control this huge animal. Horses aren’t pets in the way that dogs and cats can be. Horses are big, and they think a lot of themselves. Women who don’t realize this up front can end up too scared to ride for fear of hurting themselves.
In a nutshell, I help by coaching women riders to be more authoritative with their horses. I help them get past the idea that “If I pet this horse she will love me.” This is very unhelpful fallacy. The truth is, the more you treat your horse like a pet, the worse the horse will behave. Women need to take control and teach the horse manners and how to behave with them. This is largely a mental thing: You use a low voice and body posture more than physical strength. There are many other tips that I’ve learned over the years about working with and riding horses that I enjoy passing along to beginning riders. Women can sometimes be shy about asking for help, so I try to take the initiative. When the women see what a difference a few small changes can make, they’re thrilled!
Ten years from now, I believe I will still be working with horses. In fact, I hope to do this until I’m 80. I know it will get harder as I get older, especially as my bones change, but I will ride horses as long as I can. I need it mentally and I love the sense of accomplishment it gives me. My horses are like family, they’re like my children. I don’t need or want any other hobbies. Outside of my family and friends, horses are my one great passion. I love sharing the wonderful experience of riding with other women and seeing how rewarding it is for them as well. I can’t imagine doing anything else.
My education and professional training is in teaching. I have a degree in secondary science education from the University of Texas in Austin. But until our move to Houston, I had only ever taught full-time for one year. The rest of my work experience was as an account manager for a software accounting firm. I taught part-time to help defray the cost of my horses’ upkeep, but that was it. After our move to Houston, I realized that my horses’ new stable had a slightly different clientele from what I had seen in Dallas. For some reason, here in Houston, the stable had fewer child riders and many more women riders who were 40, 50, and even 60 years old. Many of these women were complete beginners, while others hadn’t been on a horse in decades and were trying to re-learn, in a different body, what they had learned as children. They were nervous and, in many cases, frustrated.I love horses so much and I really wanted these women to enjoy their horses too, so I started offering my help. This turned out to be a lot of fun, and eventually I was coaching women riders at my stable on a regular basis. I was drawing on my training and experience as a teacher, but combining it with my love of horses – the perfect role for me.
A relationship counselor – for women and their horses
Horse trainer or teacher is probably too strong to describe the unofficial role I have at Lone Star Stables. I would describe myself as a horse mentor -- a relationship counselor between women riders and their horses. Most women my age (I’m 51) aren’t really physically able to jump on a horse and just ride down the road bareback any more. Maybe they did that when they were younger, but their bodies are different now. Also, I see many women make a common mistake: they see a pretty horse and buy it without considering whether that horse is necessarily the best horse for them. So they end up
with a beautiful horse that is too much for them to handle. They start out very excited about horseback riding, and then their motivation drops as they realize they can’t control this huge animal. Horses aren’t pets in the way that dogs and cats can be. Horses are big, and they think a lot of themselves. Women who don’t realize this up front can end up too scared to ride for fear of hurting themselves. In a nutshell, I help by coaching women riders to be more authoritative with their horses. I help them get past the idea that “If I pet this horse she will love me.” This is very unhelpful fallacy. The truth is, the more you treat your horse like a pet, the worse the horse will behave. Women need to take control and teach the horse manners and how to behave with them. This is largely a mental thing: You use a low voice and body posture more than physical strength. There are many other tips that I’ve learned over the years about working with and riding horses that I enjoy passing along to beginning riders. Women can sometimes be shy about asking for help, so I try to take the initiative. When the women see what a difference a few small changes can make, they’re thrilled!
Ten years from now, I believe I will still be working with horses. In fact, I hope to do this until I’m 80. I know it will get harder as I get older, especially as my bones change, but I will ride horses as long as I can. I need it mentally and I love the sense of accomplishment it gives me. My horses are like family, they’re like my children. I don’t need or want any other hobbies. Outside of my family and friends, horses are my one great passion. I love sharing the wonderful experience of riding with other women and seeing how rewarding it is for them as well. I can’t imagine doing anything else.
responses (1)
