You’ve heard the expression “young at heart.” That’s how my parents thought of themselves when they moved from east to west, to a gated retirement community in Southern California, where the grass was always cut and the air always balmy.
Just around my age, Mom took up photography and pasted lovely pictures of flowers from around the grounds onto note cards she sent to relatives back home. Dad took up the daily newspaper, and from that point on, I rarely glimpsed him anywhere but in the big easy chair reading it from cover to cover.
Now my husband and I have moved, too. And if you’ve been following our saga, you’ll know we’ve done everything in reverse. Not only have we moved west to east (none other than to the heart of New York City, following a job offer Dan simply couldn’t refuse) but we’ve moved from a pleasant, manageable life in a Los Angeles canyon to over-the-top stress.
The issue isn’t about our work. We love our careers and situations. It’s the environment. New Yorkers will understand when I tell you how shocked I was when I took our little pup Lucky for her first walk out the front door of our corporate housing, walking Dan to work at Union Square.
Not only was Lucky leaping into my arms every time a bus or siren whizzed past (which was every two seconds), but none of us could believe there wasn’t a stray blade of grass for her anywhere. Every tantalizing park was behind bars; tree trunks and planters under wire cages. We walked for blocks with a doggie poop bag in hand, only to return with it unused.
After six weeks, we’ve kind of figured it out — where and how to find relief from the most mundane to the more sophisticated issues. Lucky, at three years old, has learned about trash cans, for instance. I’ve got my first lunch dates on my calendar with editors who have become friends. Dan and I found a new place in Brooklyn we’ll be moving to on Friday, overlooking a dog park. And I have to say that lifting Lucky up and down has turned out to be good for my arms. I’ve never been stronger.
I’m not going to say you won’t hear me complain. What is it with this heat wave? And do people really have to push so hard in the subways? But the truth is, I’m acting like a much younger person than my parents were at my age, and that I suppose, I expected myself to be.
For my parents, being “young at heart” meant escaping from life’s stresses and doing as they pleased, within the safe enclave of their ordered life. For our generation of women, staying youthful has little to do with comfort and safety, and a whole lot to do with being willing to be in the throes of life with all that entails. Growth is often accompanied by pain. Grand adventures require us to stretch. Aspirations urge us to take risks. And yes, being truly youthful requires a whole lot of heart. Like my own grandson, just learning to walk, I, too, am taking fresh, wobbly steps, falling down, and picking myself up again.
Sometimes, I am as tantalized by the vision of mom and dad winding down into the safety of their gated lifeas Lucky is of sniffing at the grass behind the fence. But then again, the pup and I, turns out that for us, being young at heart means even at our ages, being able and willing to learn new tricks.
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Agreed. I never thought I was vain until I had a mastectomy at age 39. I was devastated and told the doc I wanted to wake up with implants. Now at age 60, I am lopsided and wondering if I was just avoiding the inevitable. You get what you get and you
Sounds very interesting.
Spike, you are awesome! Love your perspective, thanks for sharing.
Carol, “ And do people really have to push so hard in the subways?, if you want to get on…reduced service…and most who live here are NOT New Yorkers…TRACK..They are like you from someplace else!
Thanks for the insight, Track. I’m definitely having to toughen up, or I won’t get on, as well. That said, I must say that besides the subway, and an occasional bad apple in the big applel, I’ve found people very helpful and friendly. It’s really more the quantity of people, noise and, well, everything, that is presently overwhelming. I shall adapt!