As news on the economic front gets grimmer and grimmer, I find myself strangely pondering the red-tailed postmenopausal deer. In one of her memorable lectures, anthropologist Margaret Mead explained that in their advanced years, when all the old bucks had been killed off in skirmishes, the female deer became the oldest survivors.
“In time of drought, these old does could remember where once, long ago, under similar circumstances, water sources had been found…how to find shelter, places where blizzards could be waited out. Under such circumstances, they took over the leadership of the herd.”
For many 50+ women, there is a sense of déjà vu about our own hard times, and the daily reports of store closings, foreclosures and the like. Not only have we gone through pre-quakes along these lines in our own long lives (the Iran-Iraq war of the early 1990′s; the tech bust not long thereafter) but we grew up in the shadow of the mother of all economic downturns: the Great Depression. It was what happened to our parents in the late 20′s, through the 30′s and even as late into the early 40′s not long before our births that dominated many of our family mythologies.
No matter how much money our parents made after the war, the difficulty of the Depression years left their mark. Many of my peers think of their mothers as “iron maidens,” steeling themselves to tough it out through the hard times, and still wound tight even when the financial icebergs had long evaporated into suburban mist.
I was pondering all this recently, as I sat on my back porch reading about the latest stock market dive. Instinctively, I found myself looking up and around. I heard birds chirping. The trees are still green. (This is in Los Angeles, by the way.) And then, I had a mind-blowing realization: the sun was shining.
Apparently, whenever I heard reference to The Great Depression, my visualizations were reduced to black and white. In all my memories of the stories I’d been told, the sun never made it above the horizon. But that could not have been true. Obviously, there were beautiful days–like today in Los Angeles–that deliver the possibility of joy in the here and now, regardless of how one’s portfolio reads.
Unlike our mothers, who went through the Depression in their youth and were marked by what happened for life, we 50+ women have already been through a lot. For instance, I struggled against, caretook, ultimately made peace with and buried three moms, two dads and various close relatives from that generation over the past ten years. I, myself, faced and recovered from a potentially terminal illness. I’ve raised and released several children. I’ve had periods where I took money for granted—and periods where I counted every penny and could only pray that we’d have enough to pay our bills.
Like the red-tailed, post-menopausal deer, I’m still here.
And like the deer, many of us have used our time wisely. Often to our mothers’ bewilderment, we are a generation of women who have always demanded that life serve up both meaning and joy. When life disappointed, we refused to settle. We went to therapists, coaches, consciousness movement seminars and earned higher degrees in education. We meditated, we quested, we journaled and we journeyed.
And now that the worst economic outlook since the Great Depression is on our door stoop, I realize that I’ve learned something that I wish I could share with Mom.
The sun is shining today.
Agreed. I never thought I was vain until I had a mastectomy at age 39. I was devastated and told the doc I wanted to wake up with implants. Now at age 60, I am lopsided and wondering if I was just avoiding the inevitable. You get what you get and you
Sounds very interesting.
Spike, you are awesome! Love your perspective, thanks for sharing.
Thanks so much for this. I, too, grew up in the shadow of the Great Depression (always some cash stashed somewhere, and milk toast and other Depression dishes still served) and am intent to maintain a grateful attitude no matter what. We need one another – and although we always have, the bad times seem to make it more evident.
There are lots of opportunities to serve, but my attitude can prevent my seeing them. Thanks for the reminder!
Thank you for reminding us that the sun still shines. After the flood in Noah’s time there was a rainbow and God has promised in the Bible that there will always be the changing of the seasons, sunshine and rain until the earth ends. I am very thankful for God’s provisions and for the very precious promises that are in the Bible. God has promised to supply my needs and I will endeavor to share with those in need and live a life of simplicity as much as I can.
Amen to that!
thank you for reminding me that i am a strong woman and a survivor that can handle most any problem that comes my way. with Gods help i can do most anything.
It was very touching. As I too had Depression Era parents. We didn’t have alot but you sure thought you did. They learned to “make a purse out of a sow’s ear”, as they say. My parents instilled the ability to survive in tough times and to find the beauty in each day. Thankyou for the inspiration and the joy in knowing others grew up like me. It’s sometimes hard to find people to connect with in the society we are hopefully going to outgrow. Hopefully,
getting back to basics and connecting with people again. I am forever grateful that I grew up in that “Leave it to Beaver” era.
It is nice to know that after all we have been through that there is an unspoken optimisim buried deep down inside each of us. We have lost children, lived through proving that equal opportunity in employment means just that and showing the younger generation that we are with it and are still pertinent even though keeping up with the advancing technology has been challenging. Cleaning out our parents cupboards filled with old food, due to the fact they were afraid to be without it, is proof that each generation must survive their own trials and tribulations. Our children will probably look back on us and think the same thing. I just hope that they have learned from our adversities as we have learned from our parents and that they develop a respect for our generation as we have done for our parent’s generation.
I have had a tough few years with a divorce a move back to London from the States. I lost my sister last year so financially whilst it will be difficult. I maintain that people go back to their roots which I think is a good thing people have become greedy. When I was small financial difficulties arose when my father died my mother took on three jobs to support us kids. I had a happy childhood because everyone pitched it my mother would bake a wedding cake for a neighbours daughter and in return I had a whole head of ringlets in my hair for my Holy Communion day. Other neighbours had their husbands come and repair the fence and gardening shed. Maybe now we will go forward on regrouping and being kinder to those in need. Brady Carlisle London