When a casual business associate, seeking free advice, asked if we could set a date for a 9 a.m. call, I didn’t hesitate. What makes this story a cautionary tale, however, is that I knew that he was talking east coast time, and I’m three hours earlier.
Yes, I believe in good karma—and trust that the good that I do will come back to me — but we’re talking about rolling out of bed at 5:30 a.m. and somehow getting my brain pumped and in gear before sunrise.
Why would I readily offer such a thing, with nary a whimper? Because going to the edge and beyond is in my DNA…and I’m not alone. Most of the Boomer guys and gals in my generational cohort are stuck in high-gear, still driving down the highway of life at hyper-speed. And in my opinion, it’s high time we shift to a new perspective.
What would this new perspective look like? I can almost taste the kind of balanced life our generation has always dreamt about: enough work to keep us stimulated and connected, plenty of time for physical activity and self-nurturing. Of course, there would be time to read — and a place for random, spontaneous creativity: nothing to sell, publish or record.
There would be quality time for relationships, long walks and slow food.
There would even be, dare I say it, days that I would sleep in, lolling about in that rich, largely unexplored terrain known as “half-awake.”
Making this transition won’t be easy. We are part of the largest, most competitive generation in history. From the time we were crammed into overstuffed classrooms, we quickly learned that we had to deliver more than the next guy if we hoped to get ahead. If we wanted the teacher’s attention, we had to get our hand up first, speak the loudest and figure out a way — despite the alphabetical seating chart — to get noticed. And that was just the beginning.
From that moment on, there were too many of us vying for not enough of everything: parts in the school play, college, entry-level positions and so on and on through the course of our careers. No wonder the big bestseller that coincided with our generation’s mid-career surge was In Search of Excellence. Remember the underlying principle? If you want to beat the other guy, you’re the one who has to deliver more than the competitor: more excellence, more bang for the buck, more quality, more time, more quantity — and yes, be willing to take the 6 a.m. call, even if it’s about doing somebody else a favor.
It’s hard to change old habits. The notion of rising to the occasion — whatever the occasion may be — is deeply engrained in us. But there comes a time when one recognizes that the occasion one originally rose to is long gone, and we have simply forgotten to come back down again.
For a generation used to revolutionary notions, this is one of the last frontiers left for us to explore. It’s called “Enough.” In the case of the business associate, “Enough” meant that I could email him back and ask if we could set a later time to talk. “No problem,” he replied. “I’d forgotten you were on the west coast. What time works for you?”
“Enough” is my new litmus test, and if you want to beat me to it, take your time. For once, there’s enough for us all.
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Sounds very interesting.
Spike, you are awesome! Love your perspective, thanks for sharing.
“I AM ENOUGH”! Those were the bright yellow words printed on a purple T-Shirt, given to me by my best friend over thirty years ago. I wore it with uncertainty at first, then boldness, then quite confidence. I’ve long since outgrown the shirt, but the sentiment has be burned in my heart and mind.
Wish everyone were as fortunate as me to have such a true friend.
I had this exact same scenerio recently, east coast meets west coast for a conference call. And when he ask what time works for me I anticipated it from past experience. I said 5 PM in the afternoon, my time. Which is approx. 1 PM his time. Worked for us both. Reminds me of something somebody said to me recently. About boundaries being wonderful things, so I applied that to my business life as well, and it worked out fine.
It’s great that you prepared yourself in advance to set boundaries. I get into trouble when I forget to anticipate and don’t take the time to hesitate a moment before responding.
Sometimes you have to step back and look at a situation. If it works for you, go for it; but if it is Enough, then make other arrangements. There is always room for comfort in any situation, you just have to make the plans for it sometimes!