This is the age of reinvention, and by “age” I mean both 50+ and the times we are living in. Even before the crash of the economy, women were defying the stereotypes of aging by crossing the threshold of midlife with a renewed sense of empowerment. The pieces were already in place to emerge on the other side of menopause freed from both the social and biological limitations of the past, with the power to challenge the status quo–both individual and communal.
For many, the twin-catalysts of Obama and economic crisis have, each in its own way, transformed what was a “trend” into a “phenomenon.” Google the word “reinvention,” and you’ll find one million, seven hundred thirty thousand entries. Over twenty-three thousand of these are book titles on the subject.
The election of Obama signaled to the world–including women 50+–that we can rethink how we go about living our lives in a changing world. The recession echoes the sentiment with more ominous undertones that this rethinking of our expectations is not necessarily an option.
For example, my friend Lois–who thought that “reinvention” meant using the proceeds from selling the restaurant she’d spent her career building into one of LA’s finest to “travel the continent” of Europe on a never-ending vacation. She was in year two of her Odyssey when I bumped into her this weekend–back in Los Angeles.
Lois, always the optimist, was equally pumped about the notion of reinvention, although the content of the vision had changed dramatically. Lois, you see, is one of the millionaires who lost it all in the Madoff ponzi scheme. When I asked her if she were going to get back involved with her restaurant, she replied: “Been there. Done that. I’m applying for jobs in the hotel business. That would be a hoot!”
“But what about your dream of retiring in Europe?”
“I was ready to come home anyway. You know me. What’s next?”
Lois’s vibrancy is admirable–and for many women 50+, epitomizes a kind of pioneer spirit, ready to conquer whatever challenges life throws at them as if the issues had actually been self-selected.
Frankly, while I admire this degree of verve, I do not go through my own reinvention transitions quite so cheerfully. In fact, I suspect that there are many who–like me–present an upbeat exterior to the world as we secretly kick and scream our way towards the light.
I think of this wild, transitional space between realities as “the void,” a notion more in keeping with the tenents of adult and ritual studies theory that have to do with psycho-social understandings of life transitions. When you’re in the void, you think you’re the only one who has ever felt so alone and rudderless. You’ve outgrown (or been thrown out of) a conception of yourself in the world that you could depend upon, and there are no guarantees that a better one will come to take its place.
We women 50+ progress anyway, but the word “reinvention” sounds much more organized, and in control, than my own experience of the relinquishment of the old and growth into the new, actually plays out. There may, indeed, be a light at the end of the tunnel. But more often than not, it is something towards which many of us are, at best, “growping.”
So reinvent when and what you can, growpe your way through the rest, and let’s be sure to share our adventures with one another as we go.
Agreed. I never thought I was vain until I had a mastectomy at age 39. I was devastated and told the doc I wanted to wake up with implants. Now at age 60, I am lopsided and wondering if I was just avoiding the inevitable. You get what you get and you
Sounds very interesting.
Spike, you are awesome! Love your perspective, thanks for sharing.
I love the idea of growping – it perfectly describes what happens for all of us when we’re in that middle passage, neutral zone, fertile void or whatever we want to call it.
Phyllis