I am amongst our many members who are indulging themselves in VN’s first book club selection, Marrying George Clooney, authored by our own Amy Ferris. But I admit that my affections are torn, with four other books I can’t seem to put down, all vying for my attention.
Happily, I don’t have to choose, having mastered the talent of reading five books simultaneously. George is, appropriately, on my bedside table. The others are scattered around the house and office, good friends waiting faithfully for me to return.
On the living room table, next to my personal journal, is Queen of Your Own Life: The Grown-Up Woman’s Guide to Claiming Happiness and Getting the Life You Deserve by members Cindy Ratzlaff and Kathy Kinney. Kathy, you may recognize from her iconic role as Mimi on The Drew Carey Show, and Cindy is a publishing marketing whiz, and the promotional brains behind The South Beach Diet.
Best of all, like Amy, they are one of us. (Two of us, actually.) Drawing upon the rich stories of their lives, they recount how they chose to face their fears about aging and lighten up not only themselves about it, but us all. The transformation was precipitated by Cindy’s unexpected and untimely downsizing from her big career job. “>(Sound familiar?)
Whereas I flopped around the house a lot, moaning that I’d been broken to the core, Cindy hopped a plane to Prague with her long-time friend Kathy. The trip turned into a spontaneous ritual, with the two friends addressing two key questions: “What do you want to let go of or banish from the first half of your life that no longer works for you or makes you happy?” and “What do you want to keep from the first half of your life that makes you strong and gives you joy?”
They reclaimed the joy, as captured in this wonderful quote from Father Alfred D’Souza. “Dance as though no one is watching, love as though you have never been hurt, sing as though no one can hear you, and live as though heaven is on earth.”
I’m not going to say too much about the third book of the four — the one I keep on my desk: Justine Toms’ Small Pleasures: Finding Grace in a Chaotic World. That’s only because you can follow this link and get into the spirit of this little instant classic elsewhere on our site. Suffice it to say that the simplicity, innocence and open-heartedness of this book touches me deeply. Having already read it once through, I only need look at the glorious cover of a still life of fruit against a landscape I recognize as the expansive view of hills and greenery from Justine’s Northern California home, to put all the everyday stressors that greet me at my desk into larger perspective.
Book number four is exactly where it should be: on my “resources” bookshelf newly tucked between my more scholarly works about Boomers and aging. This one is titled Longevity Rules: How to Age Well into the Future and is a collection of essays by many top thinkers, such as Theodore Roszak, Robert Butler and Harry (Rick) Moody. How could you not love David Shields on: “The Thing about Life is That One Day You’ll Be Dead” and Laura Carstensen’s “Growing Old or Living Long: Take Your Pick”? The book is divided into four areas of inquiry: political, medical, societal, behavioral and mathematical. This is a must-read for anybody — scholar or not — who wants to know what the best minds are thinking about aging and longevity now.
The fifth and final book is on the entranceway table, where I read chapters at a time while waiting for the first of my many friends who are caregiving their aging parents to come through the door. I know I won’t be able to resist loaning it out, but I’m determined to finish it for myself first.
It’s called The Daughter Trap: Taking Care of Mom and Dad…And You by Laurel Kennedy. Kennedy does a great job capturing how much of the caregiving burden has gone to the women of our generation, and the emotional and economic toll it takes. This book is as much a call to action as it is a survival manual for the daughter in the family.
Two eyes, two hands and five books. Life is good.
Just now brought “Queen of your own Life”….TRACK
P.S. Read “The daughter Trap” and Indeed life is good!
Five books simultaneously. Okay…. I can do two, at the most 3, at one time. And they are usually the same subject matter. You are way good!!
I’ve just started Suzanne Braun Levine’s 50 is the New Fifty. So far I think it’s fabulous. Nearly every page gives me some validation or insight plus much to blog about. It’s not just for the 50 year olds; it applies to women approaching or in their 60s, too.
Just started Queen of Your Own Life, it is wonderful! Can