I have been dealing with headaches that are horrific for several years. They are connected to sleep disorders, stress and anxiety. They are clearly muscular and start in my face and move into my head. The pain is worst in my temples but it radiates from my face and neck through the “stress band” that identifies stress headaches.
There are lots of things that contribute. I had a boss a few years ago that was a bully and working under her for 6 years made my stress response really high. As many of you know, the stress response is there for survival – fight or flight – but in modern society our stressors don’t go away in a few minutes like a lion in a desert in Africa. Ideally, our parasypathetic nervous system should put our bodies back in a state of calm. Mine does not, so I have stress and fear like my life is threatened on an almost conscious basis.
The pain is worst in the morning, but it can be really bad all day. I wake up with what I call bone crushing headaches. The muscular tension is hard to confront when I’m unconscious so it is a lot worse when I sleep.
I have a mouth splint but it doesn’t help at all, so I’ve switched to a soft one to protect my teeth. Since jaw clenching is a piece of this puzzle, I have tried to get treatment and I’ve been told, too bad, that’s a habit and your insurance won’t cover a habit. I have a “habit” that I have no choice about and happens when I’m unconscious. This is one of many reasons I think the existence of health insurance companies is against the interest of health care and only helps those profiting from the insurance industry.
I’m wondering if anyone has any ideas or referrals. Someone told me to look for a Bowen therapist, but I haven’t found one. I am in psychotherapy and we are working hard, but pain is hard to address that way. I can’t take pain pills every day because then I have rebound headaches. I get massage when I can afford it and chiropractic visits. They help short term but never very long.
I also have a job with very little job security and I would like to get my Ph.D. but I am not getting encouraging feedback about that. And I’m not sure whether the pain would become managable if I didn’t have to work the insecure, highly stressful job anymore. If so, I could definitely handle school. If not, I might not be able to handle it.
I believe I’ve reached a point where disability may be my only solution. The pain is too bad to bear. Any suggestions are welcome. Thanks for being such a great group of women. Dana
I wrote this in 2003 and recently discovered it in a desk drawer!
HI, Sylvestercat,
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Dana,
Have you tried yoga or any type of exercise that relieves stress? I have chronic pain in my neck, shoulder and back. The neck and back are disc related and the shoulder is arthritis. I stretch every morning and do exercises. I visit a massage therapist twice a month and a chiropractor once a month. All of these help and the reason I know they do is because when I stop, it gets worse! Sometimes it is a combination of treatments. I am going to try accupuncture also, as I have heard it helps quite a few painful ailments. Good luck to you and I hope you find a solution to your headaches. Deidre
Find a doctor and get some AMERGE, new migraine medication. Naratriptan I think. O/wise take some tylenol and ibuprofen together (some of each) and crack the pain. It is almost impossible to work over the pain. Find a swimming pool and take a class, meditation in water is terrific. There is an on-line dental supplier, toothbrushes, mouth rinses, and they have a terrific (inexpensive) mouth guard for those of us who clench, grind and on and on — it is Kleen Teeth. My heroes because the dentist ones are $300+ and wear out equally quickly. Get a meditation tape/ book or just stay quiet and count breathes. Watch the nonsense that runs your life pass through and remind yourself you are worth something. High stress kicks the best out of self-esteem so it is a deep rut to fill in with gratitude and the knowledge that you are worthy.
These are great responses, thanks so much. I do meditation a lot. I have done a lot of yoga, but it hasn’t helped at all. Sometimes it actually makes me sorer (if that’s a word). I went to my chiropractor today. She told me, again, that I do not have TMJ, that it is all muscular. She’s told me this before. But today she said that it is progressing and will turn into TMJ without relief. I am planning to take extended sick leave because stress is the underlying cause and with this diagnosis today, I’m worried about long term pain that is worse.
I am going to check into Kleen Teeth. My mouth guard only protects my teeth. It does not prevent the clenching. Thank you. I am open to anything at this point.
Thanks for saying that high stress kicks the best out of self-esteem because it helps normalize my experience and validate what I’m going through. I’m depressed too. I’m not sure how anyone could deal with this level of pain, stress and job experiences I’ve had over the past 5 years and not be depressed.
I’m seeing a therapist once to twice a week. I am glad I am because it helps me cope. I have not been all that disciplined about the chiropractor, but I can tell it helps. And mine is really good and is extremely inexpensive.
I am practicing mindfulness. I’m not very good at it yet. But I am trying. I know my mind is a big culprit. If I can get better at staying in the present, I know I will feel better because I won’t worry as much. I’m working on it. Thanks for the suggestions. I really appreciate it. Dana
Next time you want to “worry” pick a BETTER outcome. Interesting how people usually go to a worse ending and when it does not occur they feel “lucky”. Worry yourself to better self-esteem. Perhaps mindfulness will take the place of therapy so often. Your mind knows the answer to the deep-down “reason”. So trust yourself more.
I agree. That’s my goal, except I’m pretty sure it wouldn’t be called worry if the outcome was good
. I’ve dealt with hard things before. I have never dealt with them and severe physical pain at the same time. It is very powerful and not easy to see through. I totally believe I am in charge of my outcomes, so I fumble around following my own resourcefulness, which isn’t particularly organized, but it is dependable.
Ahh .. “what if” one did “worry” about good things — I guess that is called affirmations, Well now we have it flipped “what if” ….. Your best activity is to remind yourself you do have whatever it takes and reprogram the “mind monkey” to think capable things about you, not what you think you are incapable of. I found that alone made a huge difference and you are correct it was not easy at first, it got better as I went on. I got better at catching the bs I said to me about me. Now “that is a good thing’.
As corny as they seem when saying them, I really think affirmations work, or at least they can. Odd how pain increases negative self-talk. I don’t really understand why, but I find it interesting.