My initial title was How to survive menopause with-out going to jail, but that seemed short sighted. A snarky remark to a policeman pulling you over for no apparent reason may result in a visit to jail. A shove back to an aggressive shopper may bring store or mall security and it is only protocol that everyone gets hauled into jail to sort things out. A shove forward to get your comments heard by your political favorite might be misunderstood and it is a ride to jail.
Becoming a felon means you have really stepped over the line. You have acted out regrettably in a way that can not be sorted out easily. You have become irrational. You have listened to your inner estrogen deprived voice and snapped. You may be reading this too late. For those of us clinging to our rational though estrogen deprived sanity, I write these words of advice. Full disclosure, my advice is from the point of view of someone who can not offset her menopause symptoms by hormones natural or otherwise.
Most women over the course of several years go through a phase called ‘peri-menopause’. This means little side effects are happening. Most women think something critical is wrong with them or it is stress. In reality more often than not, it is the start of menopause. Denial is one of the first side effects of menopause or peri-menopause. I liken the denial phase to the river The Nile. The banks are very lush, the water is very cool the area is very beautiful and if you could just live there in la-la land of denial, everyone and everything would be great!
Sooner or later, the denial phase does not make sense anymore. Maybe a friend, a spouse or co-worker mentions more than once that you are not quite yourself. Maybe you even have a self reflective non-denial thought and think that you are not yourself either. You start to wonder where the hell did you go and who has taken over your body and mind?
There are many wonderful web sites, books and resources available to find out everything about menopause. From the medical to the spiritual to the alternative to the myths, there is information out there. I am going to share in the following weekly posts the most important information and that is how to survive menopause with-out becoming a felon. The biggest tip I can give overall is that your inner voice, that voice of rational reason may be compromised because of lack of estrogen, and you need to really truly absolutely positively think and think again before you act, lest you become a felon!
Everyone is welcome to share!
Next Week: How to Survive Menopause with-out becoming a Felon: Fashion
I LOVE your story.It should be Eat,Pray,Love in England and mine France.I would love to continue chatting with you and encourage you to write about your own experience.SO wonderful....
Michele
To reply to your question - 3 years ago I left the States to live in England after my divorce. I have lived alone here since then, found a pretty good job and have managed to support myself all through that time without using up savings. 
Perfect!
The biggest problem for me was not sleeping well. I went to my natural health guru and she recommended coffea cruda, great product. My mother died at the about the same time and I was seriously questioning my sanity. I didn’t think anything was wrong emotionally but I knew that if I went to a doctor he would be inclined to write a script. I cut back sugar and caffine and took estroven and had minimal symptoms.
However, I did mention to a buddy that I thought every woman should get a gun, three bullets and a get out of jail free card at least once in her life.
Good advise, are you still friends or did she get shy?
He and I are still friends. He told me that he understood the inclination, but that if that happened there wouldn’t be a man left in the world.
Intuitive Guy, and could be correct!
In doing off the cuff research for this post, I was surprised to find many of my friends have had a brush with the law and not in their youth. My examples are directly from friends’ expereinces!
You think this is a joke? It’s not! I got bumped from a flight home after a long week away working. I had had the ticket for a couple of months; to make matters worse, they let on people going to SXSW, a huge music/media fest in my hometown of Austin. I got snarky with the American Airlines stressed out people and they called security. “Maaam, Maaam, you just need to calm down, maam, maam…” I wasn’t shouting, I swear! I was just aggressively arguing the injustice of bumping me after a long work week, and putting me up in hotel that was a lower standard that my snobby self was used to…I begged the cop to put me in jail, “At least they’ll pay for my meal.” I thought I was being funny. The poor guy felt sorry for me, and helped me get my bag (even though the airlines didn’t want to give it up), and so I slept at the Comfort Inn and watched Fiddler on the Roof, ate chocolate. Forget weapons, words will do…
It is not funny at the time of course! I don’t know about you but being told to calm down and being Maamed would make me flip. I think you showed restraint!
Oh my! Why didn’t I read this earlier today??!?!? Prior to me exploding to my boss (even though she is truely known within the office of being very emotionally unstable). I was so mad at her that I just wanted to quit my job right then and there and cry. On the way home from work I called my husband and told him about the day. I told him I felt like I just feel like I am not myself…that I don’t have a handle on my emotions…and that if I don’t figure out how to handle this I may find myself snapping and getting fired!!!
I try to help! Good luck with the emotions.
A friend of mine started using tootsie roll pops anytime she thought she was going to say something that she couldn’t take back. Unwrap, put in mouth, wrap back up, unwrap, repeat. Most people thought she was trying to stop smoke smoking which she was better than thinking she was on an emotional rollercoster.
Isn’t that funny (not) that emotional issues from stopping smoking is more acceptable in the work place than menopause side effects!
LOL…thanks for the tip!
I have tootsie roll pops (left over from Halloween candy). I will take some to work with me today!!! I can’t afford to retire early so the tootsie roll pops will have to do. Hopefully my dental bills won’t go up after this!
What you are describing must be somewhat common. I too had these peri-menopausal/menopausal “rages” which were worse than any PMS crankiness I had ever experienced. At the time, I was a ticking bomb walking around, ready to slug someone. I retired a few years early in part because of this, as I was in a profession that required “playing nice” w/ everyone all the time. Am glad I did. It’s SO liberating now to be able to say what I feel, to not have to put up w/ some peoples’ B.S.
Good for you! It is hard to be professional and restrain yourself day after day and it is a slippery slope from salty to !!**@#??#, and offending others!