I Quit Smoking Today

It’s amazing how your body tells you immediately it is not something you should do.  And it did, I gagged and my friends laughed.

I didn’t try it again for a few weeks or months, but again I was with a group of kids that had mastered this smoking thing.  I tried again and coughed and gagged.  But, that didn’t stop me; I wanted to be like them.  I thought they were cool.

Well, off and on for the last 40 years, I have quit for extended periods of time, five years was the longest.  But, I would always pick them up again using one thing or another as an excuse.  It was always a bit hard, because my husband is a heavy smoker.  And I realized I didn’t like the smell of smoke when I wasn’t smoking, I hated being around him. Because now his smell was extremely unattractive, my attitude toward him changed and I could feel myself pulling away.  So again I would pick up a cigarette, so the smell would not be so offensive again.  Like I said though, that was an excuse.

Split Images by Dilsa Saunders BaileyI started smoking again over the past two years, not heavy.  I don’t think I was ever a heavy smoker.  But, my one a day became two, and recently has become three or four.  I then knew I was going to have to quit.  I talked to my doctor about it during my last physical a few weeks ago and she prescribed Wellbutrin.  It’s funny as she began to tell me the benefits of the drug, the only thing I could think of were the side effects on the commercials.  I shook my head no way, but I picked up the prescription anyway.  What’s even funnier is that I haven’t even opened the bottle yet.  I know it is an oxymoron.  I will put the detestable chemicals from the cigarettes into my body, but I won’t ingest a prescription drug.  I have never been attracted to drugs.  They frighten me.  But, nicotine is a drug I remind myself and then run for a cigarette.

Something I have recently realized though is that I am not addicted to cigarettes; I am addicted to the obsession of having a cigarette.  Is there a difference?  I believe there is.  So I have decided to test my theory.  I am likening myself to the Israelites who roamed the desert for forty years in order to arrive at their destination that was only 11 days away and I am putting myself to an 11 day test.  My intention is not to have cigarette for the next 11 days by trying to obsess on writing instead of cigarettes.  And the smell, well my husband and I might have to get used to avoiding each other if he smells.  So, my goal is to write whenever the obsession for a cigarette hits me until the obsession subsides.  Let’s see how many words I produce over the next 11 days.  If you have any tips, I would love to read your words, too.

Posted in health & fitness.

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5 Responses

  1. Generic Image amethyst says

    Good for you for quitting!!!

    Fortunately, that’s one habit I didn’t pick up. For years I was mainlining sugar. These days it doesn’t call my name the way it used to. It probably helps that I’m learning mindfulness and focusing on reviving my writing career.

    Good luck!

    3 like

  2. Generic Image PatL says

    44 yrs ago I started to smoke because I wanted to be different.  Now, I am different, one of the few smokers left in society.  It is very isolating. Knowing everyone can smell the smoke on my clothes, in my car and home causes me to withdrawl, isolating me evenmore.  So being alone, I smoke up a storm because I’m at peace.  What a circle. What an addiction. 

    2 like

  3. Generic Image claudiac says

    I quit smoking in 1995, I found that I needed to change my other habits as well, instead of having a smoke after eating, I got up and did the dishes right away.  I found that I had to find something to do with my hands and took up knitting and crocheting again or reading anything to keep my hands busy and my mind on something.  I also found chewing wrigleys winter fresh gum helped even though I wasn’t a menthol smoker.  Good Luck !!!  It’s a hard habit to break but well worth it, I no longer suffer from chronic bouts of upper respitory infections, colds, or what I call Chinese Dreadmochus, that is all the rest of the stuff.

    1 like

  4. Generic Image SuzanneWA says

    When I was literally ‘out of my head” with fever and the inability to breathe, I ran to the comfort of my primary care physician who has followed me since 1974.  In the back of my mind, I remember the gastro doctor telling me through both my endoscope and gastroscope, that my Oxygen level was dangerously low, and to tell my doctor.  When I saw my PCP, he had his nurse give me breathing tests, which didn’t seem all that hard.  When he came in the room, he turned very serious: you have COPD.  You have the lungs of a 130 yr-old, and you may not live to see 70.  He literally “scared me straight.”  He admitted me to the hospital with pneumonia and MRSA.  Although I didn’t “feel” sick, I was on Oxygen and in the hospital for over a week.  I think THAT is when I made up my mind to actually QUIT.  I had been without a cigarette for 10 days; when I got home, I just remembered my doctor’s harsh admonitions, and found that I didn’t even CRAVE another cigarette.  This happened at Halloween, 2010.  In March 2011, I “tried” a cigarette. Yes, I missed the companionship of my cigarette, but as SICK as it made me – no MORE.  I’ve lost relationships before, some of them my doing.  Smoking was NOT going to keep me enslaved any longer.  AND, I WANT to LIVE.  Heed my words, simplydilsa; smoking is a HARD master.  Break free.  You’ll feel better for it, I PROMISE.  If you need a “crutch,” email me at: swinteraustin@gmail.com.

    1 like

  5. Generic Image gloworm says

    Congratulations–you will not regret it. I smoked for over 30 years. My dad was a heavy non-filtered cigarette smoker, so all of my five siblings picked up the habit easily (were we pre-addicted?-I don’t know, but we never got nauseated, even when my mother made us smoke entire cigars as a deterrent.) I tried to quit multiple times throughout my life. I tried public support( my name published in the local paper), group support (offered when my company went smoke-free) Nicotine replacement gum, hypnosis, individual counseling. With each attempt I learned something about myself, the addiction, and each piece helped. Good luck and remember, you are stronger than you think. Focus on all the opportunities this decision makes possible for you. And who knows, you may be a good role model for your spouse. Hang in there. The cravings are like waves, if you ride them out, they will diminish eventually.

    1 like

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