I awoke this morning to a beautiful fall day. The sun was just rising with a beautiful orange glow and it just made me glad to be alive to experience another sunrise.
Back track to June 2010, so far a good summer. My third husband was now long out of my mind (yes, I said third, but hey, I still haven’t caught up to Elizabeth Taylor, well not yet anyway). I had met a WONDERFUL man on line and felt that finally things may just go my way. Maybe it was going to be my time to shine. I was still 48 and felt in the best shape in my life. YES! I declared myself one lucky gal. Then it happened. A routine mammogram showed that the lump that I had lived with in my right breast for 5 years had turned to cancer. My first question was “When did it turn”? Well, no one knew the answer to that one, but they did tell me that it was a good thing I went in when I did because I would not have lived very long with this aggressive tumor in my body.
Alright, so what now? I had gone to have the mammogram because this wonderful man that I had met suggested strongly that I should get it attended to. I honestly felt that I was too busy to worry about something that had been deemed 5 short years ago a non-malignant growth that was not a concern. Why worry now? Why take time out of my busy schedule to go get a test that is less than tolerable? I conceded only because I thought it might be a good idea to get it checked. I joked that I liked pancakes, so why not have my breast turn into one.
I went into the clinic to have this routine mammogram, joking with the technician by asking if she had any syrup, just being silly like I have always been. She placed my right breast on the press, sorry, the machine, and proceeded to get the pictures necessary to determine that I was okay. She came back in and told me that she just needed a few more because she needed more clarification. I was not alarmed at this, but a tad put out since I had a lot to do that day. She took a few more pictures and told me I could get dressed. Yes, good, now I could get back to work or so I thought. Not so fast…she returned and apologized, but needed more pictures. I still was not alarmed so begrudgingly undressed again and went for another ‘pressing’. I was seriously beginning to wonder if my breast would go back to it’s normal bean bag shape or stay a totally flattened pancake after all of this. I got the green light to get dressed again only to have her return for another round of pictures. You would think I would be concerned, but I wasn’t. I asked what the problem was all the while understanding she could not tell me anything. She advised that the other technician needed more for clarification and of course, this was not divulged to me.
Finally I was on my way back to work, feeling a tad more sore than when I went in but rather happy that it finally returned to it’s normal state. I was just very glad that the whole ordeal was over and I could just get on with things feeling very confident that life was just beginning – better late than never I thought. Boy was I wrong!
I will continue with the journey in my next blog and I do hope that it helps anyone who has someone that they love that may be going through this ordeal…that is my goal, to help and to hopefully brighten someone’s day.
hi michelle, you are right, he has too many hang ups for me. i called him my lover, because he is just that - a sexual partner. We are both seeking someone permanent and he wants someone younger. he points to zsa zsa who is now in bed, and who has 
Yes, my theory is “you ‘get’ cancer then are too busy to worry”. Been there done that, slash, burn, poison. The key is surviving chemo because you are forever changed. “traily” bits show up in the strangeest ways — I have mucosal damage to one eye?? Who knew? Bladder is now showing chemo damage, and the very last is the part where the body is stripped of “fighting arthritis memory” and now am headed for a second hip replacement. What a ride.
Why why why do we burn, slash and poison ourselves when there are viable alternatives if you just look around and be open to things that the Drug Gods don’t approve of because it won’t make them any money? As women we MUST get educated on this subject. I know that I would rather die from the disease than the so called cure. There are things happening in other parts of the world for certain types of cancer that WORK, just research it!! In this digital age, there is no reason for ignorance. Please stop wasting time and money on anything sponsored by the AMA or and drug company, it is in their best interest to keep us sick and using their drugs!! $$$$$$$$$$$
You may be right. As someone who has had cancer the first thing is a) no one says OK girl you keep the tumour; b) age of children impels one forward at the quickest possible pace; c) many of us do not have money or the time to look into alternate “cures”.
I do not disagree that they exist. For me, with a young son, and facing stage 3->4 when I found it, time was of the essence. I also was without money to try anything that did not come prepaid. I knew I would be off work for a long time. It was l o n g started on my birthday in feb and ended on the anniversary of the Kennedy shooting. Each time I was “left alone” for my body to rebuild, I was hit with another round of chemo, radiation, always something.
My empathy goes out to those facing cx. Hope they have the funds to sort out a different methodology.
Darcy09, what do you mean by “prepaid”? I wish my healthcare was.
I also know for a fact that there are alternative practitioners in the U.S. and perhaps you can look in to that for maintaining/rebuilding your health. Most insurance companies will pay for naturopathic, nutritionist, etc, or just find a doctor that knows something about nutrition and holistic healthcare, or will work with a naturopath. Do it NOW so you have the resources set up in case of a relapse. Dont let the Western doctors and drug companies tell you how to feel. I wish you good health and success.
I will try this again. Health care does not cover all options. Within the options I knew, and the time available to consider all, I went for slash, burn and poison. I knew the surgeon was the key (for me) and if he had said take this pill filled with (…… it) I would have swallowed it.
My son was the most important part of the equation, so whatever it took for me to spend my life with him … that’s what I did. I did not feel that with stage 3-4 I had many options, ….. or time.
Whatever the surgeon set up is what I did. It enabled me to “only” miss work for 9 months. I did not think of, research, swallow other options. I felt too pressured and too happy to have a solution I could manage (or so I thought).
I am clear for 18 years and I do not expect to have the experience again, it simply is no longer my turn.
The only time for research is before it happens, and not many would do that due to the “attraction of negative thoughts” energy. The only “good” time for research is BEFORE the event.
You are right, the drugs are no picnic to swallow, on the 12th day someone could wave a $100 while saying “you can do it”, that might also be useful on days 13 and 14 as well. By then the body knows these pills make me sick — how can they be making me better at the same time?