The First Day of the Rest of My Life
I am not really sure why I need another blog other than I am a writer and this one has a particular theme not apparent in my other posts. I usually use my blogs to impart writing tips and try to encourage the writer in me to share with the writer in all of you out there. I welcome your feedback and love to read your work as well.
This blog, however, is of a more personal – almost life altering – nature. In one of my recent blogs about life and writing and getting things done… inspired, of course, by the arrival of spring… I commented about this life’s challenge for me. It often is with me since in everything that has happened, I am the common denominator. One would think that to learn is to change but here I am still fighting the same battle that has burdened me almost all my life.
It is just dealing with it now that I can look back and see the things that made the difference, and the things that sabotaged the whole affair. Weight. It is heavy upon my shoulders and other places, and therein lies the rub. I have worked hard at times, and, at the other extreme have been very blase about it. One would think it would be something to try for – an active, healthy lifestyle that contributes to a body that is able to continue to enjoy the fun things in life. This is nothing to do with image, although, at some point in my blog I am sure how I look will come up. It’s natural. You want to not only feel good but also look good. The mental, physical and emotional triad works in synchronicity allowing any imbalance to be absorbed and made up by the other components. It’s when all of them are depleted through depression, ill-health, or a general disregard or caring, that one begins to feel the effects of a body that is not treated well.
This blog is to be an on line journal of how to get back on the track to health and wellness. The past few weeks have been hard on me even though I have reason to feel good about things again. We (my daughter and I) recently moved into a new condo-apartment and have a very nice home for ourselves. We make a good team – looking out for each other. Of course, the positive aspects of the move were enabled by the death of something else – the end of a relationship for her, but all in all, it was what was meant to be. The path you travel is laid before you even without your knowledge and how you approach your journey determines its success or failure.
The diametrically opposed feelings that live within me rage as I feel contented to be here and am able to enjoy an inspirational setting to write in – yet my health has me worried. It feels like it has deteriorated to a large degree over the past couple of years and I know it is in part due to the effects my surroundings and self-imposed situations have played upon me. Constant searching and change have wreaked havoc on my life. I have moved too much and it has cost me financially, emotionally and physically. What was or am I searching for? I thought it was someone to love but it really was the inevitable search for who I really am – whether I’m ever with someone or destined to be alone. In the past, I let myself be changed; now I struggle to keep up while I try to revive the real me, hidden beneath the layers of protective fat that accumulate when I try to fill a void left by whatever change is imposed upon me.
I know I should start with accepting that this is who I am and I never will be slim and athletic again. Too much has transpired to regain (oops! don’t say regain!) completely what has been lost – my ability to do some things without pain and effort. But I do like me. I like me a lot – I think I am a good person and know I have much I want to contribute yet to this life. So, I can make an effort to do something for me. I can make a concentrated attempt to address my health, change my lifestyle and then, as a result will feel better about me. I know I can do this and this time it is for me.
Today IS the first day of the rest of MY life. www.lindajschallenge.blogspot.com
I gave up both a university position and a teaching position to move due to a short-term career opportunity for my husband, having been told that finding something comparable to what I had would be no problem where we moved Well, I've been applying
I love listening to French Radio on Pandora. I feel like I am strolling down the Champs-Elysees. The music is happy and takes me right back to Paris. Enjoy it!
As a fellow fatty, just love you. I learned that we are not our bodies. Engage yourself in things you love, and don’t focus on weight. Instead focus on breaking one bad habit every few months. Small baby steps get you where you want to go. Maybe start with something like drinking more water, or not eating anything after 8pm. Small things add up, you will make it You are worth it.
My thoughts exactly in my new attempt to get me on to some good habits that stick with me, instead of fat! I have increased my water intake and try not to eat late anymore – you are right, these are great habits to start forming without focusing on weight and trying to lose it. I’ve already started feeling better!
Thanks for your comment and we all are definitely worth it.
You know I think being overwhelmed causes lethargy, and lethargy causes emotional eating. I have been buried under my life this week, and for the past two days I been eating whipped creme out of the tub, since I had cleared out most other sweet junk food. Luckily I been drinking the water, and have been having one green shake a day. The green shake is kale, spinich, kiwi, and grapes, one cup of water, and puree in a blender or smoothy maker. It keeps me hunger free all morning. But we both know emotional eating has nothing to do with hunger. Like I said baby steps, some days I hate my body, others I am ok with my stomach that hangs and flappy arms. As you can tell today is one of those days I’m not so happy with what I see in the mirror. Guess I will go for a walk, perhaps the sun, flowers, and spring will make me thankful for a body that can walk 2 miles with little effort. Thankfulness I have found always helps me out of a self berating funk. Hope these few tips help, I need to follow what I say, and get my butt out the door. Love this topic.
Saturday Suppositions
I broke down this afternoon and drank a glass of diet Coke with that artificial stuff I thought might not be good for me. Well, I mean, I know it’s not good for me and I drank it anyway. It was rather flat being there for some time now, since I haven’t been drinking what I know is not good for me… but over ice it was refreshing. And it really wasn’t “breaking down” – that sounds too much like “giving in” or “giving up” and that is actually the furthest thing from my mind at this point. Yeah, revelation. I suppose it’s okay to “break down” once in awhile.
I broke down this afternoon and went to McDonald’s – now, before you go getting all … “oh, don’t give up and do that…” I know, that’s not good for me, either. Fast food has too many additives that are not healthy and calories up the whazoo… sorry, McD’s and others, don’t sue me, just stating facts, as they are for me, personally, just one person out of a gazillion served. And anyway, I have been very good and have not gone to any drive thrus for some time now.
“You want fries with that? Super-size those…” I cannot believe what I thought I heard.
“Let me speak to your manager!” The young attendant’s face went white… he was clearly upset.
“But, Mr. Drive Thru Line Boss… I didn’t say thighs…” he was still clearly upset and obviously didn’t say what I thought he said.
I drove away clutching my fistful of free food coupons and swore I’d never go back. Good thing I was driving or they might reconsider the free food and see my already super-sized …
Okay, so that didn’t really happen – just funny and not funny at the same time. The ease with which we can drive up to a window and fill our appetite makes it very easy to pack on the pounds from food that is not healthy and we justify it with the time it saves us from cooking our own meals. At least that’s what it is for me – sometimes – other times it’s just an easy way to fill a craving. Today, however, I got a grilled chicken Caesar salad, emphasis on the salad! I did get a strawberry milkshake with it as a treat, but I got a small size. That, is a step forward for me!
So, now I’m sitting here writing nursing my water appetizer and trying not to think ahead to supper time. It’s been good today. The weather is nice and I was out earlier to drop Kelsey off to pick up her car. Went to the bank for the Writers group; went to Chapter’s to browse and found a cool book called “Letters to Juliet” and a beautiful journal that I will donate from my business to the Writers Conference next week. On the front is embossed “You don’t write because you want to say something. You write because you’ve got something to say.” The credit goes to “anonymous” who we know has said lots of great things… kind of like, they… who are they anyway?
So I write because I have something to say and whether it is only read by a few for now, some day in the future I hope many will read my words and know of my challenge. Everyone has a challenge and everyone has a story. For me, the combination is a way to keep my mind on the things that keep me young and healthy, even if it is only in my mind for now.
Now is all we have. Live for the now, and it’s much more gratifying. A trip to MC donalds once in awhile is fine. We need to not feel deprived, but then the next day work on the goals you set for yourself. Of course look who is talking, I been weighing the same 180 lbs for 25 years. I’m only 5′ tall.
Your comment speaks to my attempt to look at each new day with a positive outlook – looking ahead to goals, instead of reflecting on setbacks. My challenge is just that way – ups and downs – and is no different than the rest of life, for me or anyone. My achievements and successes in other parts of my life, however, let me bring this failure along my journey with the thought that perhaps it is what it is and punctuates the fact that I must do my best to stay healthy to enjoy it.
Thanks for your comment and take care.
You are absolutely right to focus on the positive things especially the fact that spring is here and we can, if we choose, get out there and walk. I was at my mom’s the other night and amidst all the excitement (anguish, more like) of a nearby grass fire gone wild, I went for a stroll through her property to get a better look. Man! I’m paying for it now – sore body – but that is just the way I’m feeling lately. Good in the mind – not so good in the body, no matter what positive thoughts I try. Keeping busy is my distraction and it’s been crazy so I’ve been doing okay. And I’m famous for words (good thing for a writer!) but not so good at following them so I just have to keep reminding myself – I am worth the effort and so are you!
Keep it up! Keep in touch!