Two ex husbands…last one literally spent me into the ground…who knew I was what psychologists and people who have read an article on psychology call an enabler? Who knew I was trying to compensate for my children’s father’s total self-absorption by trying to provide for them what he wouldn’t even though he could? Who knew they would let me? Amd who can blame them…because I was too proud to tell them I just couldn’t. And somewhere deep inside…okay, o,ay…superficially…I wanted to send a signal to their father that we didn’t need him. And we didn’t, but I chose the wrong method.
Who knew my second ex husband had 30,000 in credit card debt when we married…and I…the consummate enabler…refinanced my house so we could “start fresh”. Well, he did start fresh. He started racking up the debt again, and it took two more refinances and helping him out before I came to my senses and divorced him.
Who knew that I…educated, smart, good to the bone…would find myself in this financial situation at my age?
I have a PhD. People all the time say, “Well…I would like to do that, but I will be blank age before I finish.” I say, “You will be blank age anyway, so why not go ahead and get that degree?”
I finally took my own advice. I went to a debt counselor through United Way. I laid it all on the line. A really nice young man said, “you know this will hurt your credit score.” Well, so what?
He is negotiating my interest rates, we closed all my credit cards. We wrote a very doable budget together, and I will be debt free in three years…before I am 59. I am going to be 59 anyway, so I might as well take control and do this!