April 7, 2010 at 5:22 pm in Family & Relationships, Work & Money by Iris58

My Mother died last summer.  I was her main caregiver. Her will was written three years prior to her bad health.  She had given me some money for renos to increase the value of my home…long story short, I had aniticpated to stay in my house but her bad health forced me to sell and I sold at a loss and moved to the town she lived in (I also sold her house, downsized everything and helped her adjust to a retirement home)…I also had to retire early so I could be with her which made a huge impact on my pension…Mom was 83 and kept telling me she needed to change the will because she knew the circumstances changed in my life and the house that was supposed to supplement me with a good long time security had to sold in a bad time of the market…I was in denial of her impending death…then it happened…she died suddenly..I found the will and it was to be split in 3 with my two kids…my kids did very little for her…they end up with even more $$ than me because she also willed her RIFFs to them…so as this is now close to being distributed I wrote a heartfelt letter to my kids and asked them to think about giving me half of their share because that is what my Mom would have wanted under the circumstances…Mom always joked with me that I would be so financiallly secure…and modest as I was never questioned anything…she knew I sacrificed for her and she knew she had to do something but in the end her health would not allow us to go and do it as she had bowel problems and never left her home…so, yesterday I wrote the letter to my kids who are 26 and 20.  They will be getting over 60 thousand each if they give me 40 thousand each of their money…it all comes back to them eventually when I die, but right now it is good for me to now I have a nestegg.  I have not heard from either child as of yet,  Does anyone out there have any perspective on this for me?? I am not a greedy person, but I am the deserving person who has felt my Mom was negligent in changing her will.