Why I’m glad my daughter is gone

May 25, 2012 at 10:00 am in Family & Relationships, Work & Money by VN Featured Comment

Today’s Featured Comment

From Melissa F

I surprised everyone, including my friends, family, daughter and myself when she left for college 2 years ago.  We were very close and I had spent 18 years living my life for her.  Spent my time and money on her.  Neglected myself.  But I loved it because I loved her so much and she was and still is a wonderful, loving, delightful daughter.  I would rather spend time with her than anyone.

So everyone was afraid that I was going to be lost without her.  My family, including my daughter, were actually worried about how I was going to live without her and I was dreading her leaving.  What I didn’t expect was that I would regain some of my old self back after she left.  I lost 40 pounds in 5 months, took on 2 part-time jobs on top of my full time job, became the women’s social director at my church and rediscovered my relationship with my husband.  I felt great!  I felt younger, had more energy and found that I didn’t really miss her so much after all!

It has helped tremendously that she is only 2 hours away and we text each other almost daily so I still feel very connected to her.  I still love to spend time with her and enjoy visiting and staying in her apartment and hanging out with her and her friends.  I feel a little blue when I come home after a visit, but I don’t pine away for her and enjoy my life as an independent adult!

I enjoy having less responsibility and the ability to make last minute plans and go out whenever I want to.  And I love my new relationship with my young adult daughter.

[This comment was originally posted in this conversation. ~ Eds.]


Related Content

Tips for Thanksgiving with your visiting adult kids Drs. Jimmy Laura Smull and I interviewed 100 successful women 50+ about their issues/concerns, and one of the most pressing desires was to figure...
When the wife is older than the husband How does it affect you self esteem when you are 6 years older than your husband?  The age difference never mattered to me until now.  I am 58 and...
Friendship in midlife: How to make new friends after di...   Big life changes, like death or divorce, have a ripple effect that touches every other aspect of your life. Old friends may fade away, ...