Women 50+ know: Low-pressure ways to meet a man

February 2, 2009 at 6:23 pm in Love & Sex by VN members

1. Join a group that shares your interests or hobby. From Erica in How can I get back on the dating scene — slowly?

“Are there singles groups in your area? Do have any hobbies? You’ll make friends and expand your social circle.”

2. Shop for groceries on Sunday evenings/nights. From JanDeelstra in How can I get back on the dating scene — slowly?

“Apparently many men procrastinate until after all the sports programs play, and have to go grab groceries for the coming week. The stores are loaded with men on Sunday afternoons!”
3. Try ballroom dance lessons. From SallieB in How can I get back on the dating scene — slowly?

“Look for a dance studio in your nearest town and begin to take ballroom dance lessons. No partner is required and the parties are an excellent and relaxed way to meet men.”
4. Do some volunteer work. From mariagraziaswan in How can I get back on the dating scene — slowly?

“Some volunteer jobs are good, Habitat for Humanity is one of them, no need to be a skilled construction worker, that’s the beauty of it, plenty of men to teach you, you can go once a week or once a month and it is very rewarding.”
5. Get some exercise. From roadtripdreamer in Later-in-life divorce
“After being single for 4 years, I met a man right under my nose – worked out at the same club, but neither of us realized the other was single. Now 16 years of marriage later, we are still having the time of our lives and have never looked back.”

6. Finding a man is like finding a job….network, network, network. From Mistygirl in How can I get back on the dating scene — slowly?

“Tell your friends and family that you may be ready to date or how nice it would be to share your interests with someone else. I met the man of my dreams while learning to ride a motorcycle and I wasn’t even looking.

“Believe me there is no shortage of single men over 50 riding motorcycles. No not all riders are tattooed and bearded. Most of them are executives, lawyers, and CPA’s.

“I know riding is not for everyone but the point is develop an interest that is poplar with men as well as women and they will be there. Your chances of meeting a man in your book club or quilting circle is pretty slim. And remember don’t wait for someone ask you out, you can ask too. Have fun!”
7. Wait in line. From mariagraziaswan in How can I get back on the dating scene — slowly?

“Anyplace where you must wait in line, just take your time an don’t line up until you see someone interesting. Try the post office; shows; car wash (you wait for the car); dog parks, establishments where they play jazz. These are general ideas that can be applied in any city, at any age.”
8. Get really clear about the sort of partner you are looking for. From JanDeelstra in How can I get back on the dating scene — slowly?

“Write it down. Detail is key here! Does he drink, smoke or cuss? Or is he a gentle giant? Is he blonde or brunette or redhead? What does he enjoy? What will you share in common? Like to travel?

“Want a guy that appreciates art? Go to galleries. Want a guy that enjoys baseball/football, etc.? Go to games. Go to places alone, or with friends, places that you enjoy and that recharge your batteries and creativity.”

9. Use a dating service. From Dr. Coach Love in How can I get back on the dating scene — slowly?

“When I divorced at 50 after 30 years of marriage (25 of it satisfying), I first ‘practiced’ describing myself, what I wanted from life, and the type of person I was seeking.

“I studied the dating columns and mostly got a chuckle. I broke the ice with phone conversations and a few meet and greets—always following safety rules. My first dates after 32yrs are interesting stories (at least to me).

“I compared the dating and introduction services and signed on with one. It was a wonderful adventure and I met my delightful husband of 6 years through it. I highly recommend that method of meeting men. It shrinks geography and can be an efficient screening mechanism. This is my long story short. Happy adventuring!”

10. Try eHarmony.com. From Sharon3 in dating

“They do an in-depth questionnaire and match you with someone with whom you have common interests, likes, dislikes, etc. I have two friends who have used them and while not yet married, are happily meeting nice men. It is difficult to meet men ‘by chance’ as while you may like the way they look, you have no idea what they are like, or even if they are married, etc. Unless you introduced by friends, a good dating service is safer and more likely to produce a good ‘match.'”
11. Seriously, try eHarmony.com. It worked for VN blogger Sarah Gayle Carter. From Sarah G. Carter in Finding love online (journal entry 8)
“Russ and I ‘met’ just after Christmas last year about a month after I halfheartedly re-joined eHarmony.com. …We had a great time e-bantering back and forth for about a week in what they call ‘open communication.’ Then he asked if he could call. …We had talked for eleven hours. …As I said to Russ the next day, ‘I’m not sure what to call this, but one thing is for sure, something just happened.'”
12. Stop looking, and learn to love yourself. From JanDeelstra in How can I get back on the dating scene — slowly?

“Meeting people on this planet is easy. Learning to love yourself, fill your own needs makes you more attractive. Start with you.

“Read all the good books, see all the current trends, listen to music in the current genres, and be really good to yourself. You will become attractive. You will attract men, as opposed to going out to hunt them down. …And when you stop looking, he’ll be there. He will find you.”