3 sexual positions for women over 50 with arthritis, bad backs, and Charlie Horses

November 11, 2010 at 12:00 am in Love & Sex by Dr. Pepper Schwartz

Okay, we never had to contend with these indignities when we were younger—and it’s no fun to have parts of our bodies that hurt. It’s especially unsexy to climb into bed, have a back spasm or have a calf muscle involuntarily seize up and yelp with pain. “Don’t touch me” seems like an appropriate remark at the time.

While this is a larger or smaller problem depending on your particular body, the fact is that as we get older, the chances of some part of our body being uncooperative gets more and more likely.

Some of the pain can be alleviated by anti-inflammatory medicines, and back exercises, daily stretching and nutritional supplements can often spare us the cramps or pain we feel when various muscles seize up. Pilates and/or a yoga regime will keep our body in the best shape possible—but even given all that, sometimes we have to think of new positions and forget some old ones that hurt our backs or arms or hands.

For example, while doggie style sex might have been a hot position in your twenties or thirties, a bad back can quickly make that position painful. It might not even hurt at the time, but afterwards a reaction might be excruciating.

In general, you’ll want to avoid any position that makes you have to arch your back. In addition, here are a three good specific positions to consider:

  1. Spooning so that a male partner enters you from behind and your back is comfortably settled on a relatively hard mattress or surface so it is supported.
  2. Facing your male partner so that your closest leg is over him and he can enter you without you having to use your back.
  3. Sitting on his lap in a chair (either facing him or with your back to him), so that if he has a good back he can do most of the work and you can sit upright.

    Dr. Pepper Schwartz is the author of the Vibrant Nation Health Guide, A Woman’s Guide to Great Sex After 50: Getting Your Mind, Body and Relationship Ready for Pleasure.

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