I started out reading an article on the 6 Rules of Cleavage and it led me to the Top Ten Items You’re Too Old to Wear which led me to a book on Amazon titled How Not to Look Old by Charla Krupp. Back at the articles, I followed another link to Mom Jeans, Visible Panty Lines and 8 other Fashion Disasters, when it occurred to me, how in the heck did I ever survive dressing myself without the help of these women all my life?
Seriously … NOT!!
I mean, come on. It’s all a matter of common sense, really, isn’t it? But, apparently not. There are still women out there, everyday, who want to dress like they’re still in their teenage years, and they’re pushing 40, 50, or older. I shudder just thinking about it.
I’m mean, come’on. Give it up, ladies!
There’s “Daytime Cleavage” and there’s “Nighttime Cleavage” right? Be respectful and the older you get, the more support you need, am I right? No one needs to see granny au’natural! I know that my “twins” have changed shape and size many times over the years and I’m giving them all the support I can — they appreciate it and I do too. Gravity has not been kind. Not to mention, I’m sure someone like the grocery clerk appreciates it as well, not having to see me “hanging” in the wind, if you know what I mean.
When it comes down to it, though, if there’s a list of don’ts, then there’s a reason for them. Someone had to be told, “Hey, I think you’re too old to wear Mickey Mouse barrettes in your hair.” Or, “Mom, you can’t borrow my Mary-Kate & Ashley glitter nail polish anymore!”
Do we need the Fashion Police to measure the number of inches of cleavage we show or announce to the world that everyone over 30 must now wear boot cut jeans to compensate for our “mom” butts?
All we need are just some good common sense fashion tips and we can still look trendy without looking like the last lonely “Material Girl” from a Madonna video.
Take t-shirts with messages on them. There’s an age and body for glitter and shine on t-shirts. Especially with flirty messages like “CUTIE PIE!” and “I’M A FOX” And, sorry, but that age has to have a one or maybe a two in front of it. Any older and you’re just a cry for help.
The same goes for those micro-mini skirts! Oh my God, I saw one on a woman at a concert the other night. Please, if you have to keep pulling on it to make it longer, then it’s TOO SHORT! When she sat down, the skirt completely disappeared! Hello! Nobody wants to see that! According to the “Top 10 Items You’re Too Old to Wear” the cut off age is 40 for micro-mini skirts, I say that’s pushing it, but then that’s me.
Like I said before, it’s just a matter of common sense. But, just in case, read the articles. If anything, they’re good for a few chuckles.
And, ladies.. watch those VPL’s!!