droop and the girls

April 13, 2012 at 10:35 am in Fashion & Beauty by Barbara Younger

Corsets Girdles Magnetic Harness Underwear, UK (1890)

I’m wondering if these old time corsets would help me deal with the droop my girls complain about.

In the above sentence, THE GIRLS means my daughters.  Whenever we go clothes shopping, I usually hear from Laura or Kath:  ” MOM, THAT BRA IS TERRIBLE.”

But they are talking about THE GIRLS that Oprah talks about, the up top girls.

And so TWICE, I have gone to a bra fitting at a chic department store where a saleslady stood, young and darling, with a pink measuring tape artfully looped around her neck.

Five minutes later, I’ve stood, menopausal and droopy, while she directs me as I try on a bevy of bras.

I pray she ignores droop as well as moles, stretch marks, age spots, wrinkles, and who knows what else.

“Aren’t these a little tight?” I ask.

“They need to be tight,” she replies.  “That”s how we get the support.”

She convinces me.

Hope springs eternal on the car ride home.  The bras are lovely.  My top did look perkier.  And they have to work, considering the pretty penny I just paid for them.

But when I wear the beige one out  to dinner that night, it starts to dig in.  By the time I’m diving into my entree, I can hardly concentrate for the pain.  Similar trouble with the black one at work the next day.

Despite the somber warnings I received when the bras were carefully wrapped in tissue at the register, I become proactive.  No hand washing for these trouble makers.  Maybe some hot water and not-so-delicate detergent and a rough round of jiggling and spinning and then a tumble in a hot dryer will mellow them out.

Take that, you digger inners!

No luck.

I go back to my old bras.  The new ones sleep, forlorn, pristine, and expensive, in my lingerie drawer.

I agree one hundred percent with my girls that THE GIRLS should not droop.  That said, I have a low pain tolerance.

So what is this girl, with the droopy  up top girls and the complaining daughter girls, to do?

Advice oh readers!  Have you found bras that are comfortable AND offer enough support?

Or do we  need to go back to the days of the corset, which come to think about it, looks even more painful than my abandoned bras…

Photo: The Harness’s Magnetic Corset promised, in 1890, to aid the chest in “its healthy development.”   Maybe a corset really would aid mine in its menopausal decline.


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