October 19, 2009 at 5:53 am in Family & Relationships by ClaireAnne
8 Comments »
Kathryn B said on October 19, 2009
that’s not love, that’s enmeshment, drag him to a therapist or go alone
Tuser said on October 19, 2009
Why is everything that does not go just right in a marriage then referred to a therapist? Has no one ever heard of what is good for the goose good for the gander. If I was being yelled at I would treat him the say way and see if he likes it. You probably take all that garbage he dishes out so he will continue to do it. They are like children, so treat them like one.
sunny said on October 19, 2009
My dad yelled at my mom and mentally beat her up too many times – us kids as well. To this day my mom and I have a very hard time making decisions or jumping in and doing something because we were “verbally bashed” about how stupid of a decision we made or how terrible whatever we wanted to accomplish was. Don’t get to this point that you feel you are no good as a person because he WILL make you feel that way.
Yelling back can only make things worse. My mom said she got to the point that she wouldn’t fight with him anymore and that made him even more mad but would FINALLY SHUT UP!!! I do believe in counseling – go – you will at least have someone to vent to.
I guess my biggest question is why would someone stay with a person like this anyway? So just take his yelling is typical woman move. I wonder if your Mother went to counselling, if so did, did it help her? Do you go to counselling? It sounds like you are having a tough time with life as well?
sunny said on October 20, 2009
mom never went to counseling – she believes the lord will take care of her. as far as i am concerned i’ve been to counseling on numerous occasions through my life. i’m better than i was but with my personal life, as far as job in concerned, i still struggle. but….that is a whole other story.
Tuser said on October 21, 2009
I know it’s a tough situation to be in and I only no myself and for sure I would not take this. I guess the Lord can only do so much and not that I don’t believe in God, I do, but there are some things in life that has to be dealt with on your own. If the Lord was there for her, I would figure this should never have happened to begin with. Good for you for trying to get through this however you need to and hopefully in time you will beat this and start enjoying life. Good luck!
Kathryn B said on October 20, 2009
Sunny, I thank you for your wisdom and courage in seeing how damaging that kind of verbal abuse is and being willing to say it. Any man who constantly yells at his wife has problems and I mean BIG problems and it is not up to his wife to “act differently”, “cow tow” to him, figure out why he’s so mad, excalate things into something that could be dangerous to her (by acting like HE does), or try to fix him. She should calmly state that she is not willing to be subjected to that kind of abuse, (because that is exactly what it is), and will be getting support for herself. Then GO! An offer could be extended that they work on this severe problem together but it should not be about him, it’s about HER supporting herself, in my opinion. HIs issues are his own, she’s just a target for a messed-up man. If he left her, he’d do the same to the next woman.
Ya, but some woman are such easy marks…..no, I don’t agree, there are woman who would hold their own. Men only take on weaker people, he is probably the kind of guy that would be up someone smaller than him.
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