I recently found out my “boyfriend” of seven years is married.

September 26, 2010 at 2:15 am in Family & Relationships, Love & Sex by Charlotte H.

Hi.  I am brand new to this site.  I found it while browsing the subject “my partner is married” on the internet. 

I just found (two weeks ago) that I man I had been seeing seriously for seven years is married.  I suspected he had girlfriends but never that he was married.  I am devastated and conflicted. 

I have ended all communication with him, except for e-mails regarding finances.  I am broke and jobless.  I expect him to pay me money every month until I am employed.  He’s giving me $ for basics.  I feel he owes me something for the pain and humiliation he’s caused me.  His apologies did nothing to alleviate these feelings.  I can’t talk to friends or family about it, because I’m so embarrassed. I told them, though.  Not much comfort from them.

I am conflicted because of his wife.  I haven’t told her, but feel in my gut she has a right to know.  I’m wondering if anyone out there has any advice.  If your husband had been cheating on you – serious affair – for seven years, would you want to know?  And, how would you react?  What would be the best way to tell her?  I can’t tell her – if I do – until I am financially on my feet – may take a few months – would this late telling anger the wife?  I don’t want her mad at me!  I need some objective advice.  My mind is not clear and I am struggling with functioning.

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