October 18, 2009 at 12:18 am in Family & Relationships by patriciadiane
7 Comments »
JudithB said on October 18, 2009
QUESTION…”How do you make friends in your 50’s?” ..Hey, welcome to the Club!!!..I, too, have no friends where I live. It’s an area “filled to the brim” with young mothers and their children. I did submit my name to a local Senior’s Club, but I haven’t gone yet. When I finally decide to go, I’ll tell you all about it.
Do I miss having a friend(s)?…Not really. I’ve been so busy all of my life, I really didn’t have time for friends..(ie..raising kids, working 1 or 2 jobs at a time to keep a roof over our head..etc). Now at 60, I’m just plain-o RECLUSIVE and that’s what I’m use to. Can’t picture me with friends, to tell you the truth. Maybe it’ll be fun. I really don’t know.
Now, please tell me…”why you don’t have any friends. Is it because of preference. like me or due to circumstances?”
Tuser said on October 20, 2009
Judith, one of the best comments I have read since I joined. Hope to read more like this, no feeling sorry, no jibber jabber just plain honesty.
DianeDeborah said on November 8, 2009
Judith: For me, I think it’s a little of both. I’m 56 and I do not have a social life at all. Occaisionally I will go out for coffee with nurses I used to work with. I’ve started a new job, and that, in itself , is a stressor. My mother has recenetly developed Alzheimers, but I am putting services in place so she can stay in her own home. Your story and mine are alike. I, too, never really had time for friends’ raising my daughter and working extra shifts. Yet there are times when I feel lonely, and wish I had someone to chat with. How about you?
tigercat86 said on December 1, 2009
i would have to say because of preference… my best friend is my husband… do i need more?? uhhh, no… so people might call us reclusive…
there are time when i second guess myself… but when i pick up some small talk during a christmas party (like last saturday) it just reinforces that i don’t, really… but i must say i realize how different i have become from everyone else… and i think that is a good thing… sometimes people are just petty… in the long run, these little trivial things don’t really count… life is so short, it’s just a blip… let’s make it fun and yet truthful… to who we really are… let’s get back to our true selves… anyway, i think i diverge…
to get that group energy we all need, i joined a weekly 1 hr workout session at the community centre… and also go to a hot yoga studio once a week with my husband… we share the energy with hours in a quiet kinda spiritual/sweaty way… lol!
Anonymous said on April 22, 2012
I adore my husband of 40 years, but I want gal-pals, as well! I’ve lived in Victoria BC for 11 years and had trouble making friends the entire time. Everywhere else we’ve live I’m made friends easily and we’ve continued the friendships across the miles.
I’ve met so many retirees who moved here and quickly leave because of the anti-social aspect. We remain because of my husbands job… otherwise we’d leave in a heartbeat.
NancyL said on June 13, 2012
I can relate to several posters here. Judith, I’m happy most of the time without the effort of making friends. Tigercat, I too am best friends with my husband, but have seen so many women my age or younger lost them to an ealy death. Mostly I can relate to anonymous. I have always had trouble making friends. Her in South Florida where we have lived for 15 years, I haven’t made a single close friend. It is very cold emotionally here. I know I don’t try hard enough but really want to connect with someone that I can relate to.
Alicia said on June 13, 2012
I read this great article once about the story of a mom talking to her young daughter getting married. The daughter thought it wasn’t important to have women friends and the mom explained why that was imperative throughout life….in the end, it is women who are there for us, was the jist ; I will see if I can find it
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