by GROOVEY 1
October 12, 2011 at 11:09 pm in Family & Relationships by GROOVEY 1
My daughter does not respect me.
6 Comments »
Virginia F said on October 13, 2011
Dont even get me started on this subject. I am going through the same thing with my 33 year old daughter. It is such a power struggle with her. In her eyes I was born yesterday. Miss know it all and Mom knows NOTHING UGH..I wish you a TON of luck with your daughter. I gave up trying to say much to mine. We still talk often but I learned now to so “ok you’re right” just so I dont get a headache anymore….they’ll learn one day, hopefuly when it’s not to late that MOM was right all along grrrrrrrrr lol
MiMi said on October 13, 2011
Let me preface this by saying I’m NOT insinuating this applies to you. Respect is something that is earned. It doesn’t automatically come with the title of MOM or DAD.I’m 60 yrs. old and have very little respect for my Mother and NONE for my Father. I love them and respect their position in my life. The truth is they have done very little to add value to my life after giving me life. My success is largly in spite of their influence vs. because of it. In that vein, I have worked overtime to assure positive examples for my son.If that is you….rest assured IT will come.Life will show her your value eventually.I have found that my actions speak much louder than words:)
Hi MiMi, I want to start by saying, be glad you still have your Mom and Dad because when they are gone you are SOOOOOOOOOO going to miss them regardless of your relationship with them….I know I miss my both parents TONS 🙁
I have bent over backwards for both my kids. I give them their space and I learned early on not to EVEN try to control them or what they do…they are 2 very productive kids and I couldnt have asked for any better. We are close and speak just about every day and I make myself ALWAYS to be there for them when needed….BUT I still feel as tho I failed somewher along the line…maybe I did to much for them I dont know.
All I can say is I know in my heart they love me and when i’m gone their going to be lost lol…..oh well life goes on!
Renee said on October 13, 2011
The mother-daughter relationship is perhaps the most complicated of all relationships. It would be irresponsible of me to make a judgement about you and your daughter without knowing the background. But one thing I do know: With few exceptions, it is entirely possible to change a relationship all by yourself. We all wait until the other person changes, or at the very leat sees “the error of their ways.” That will never happen. If you want another kind of relationship, create it. We write about this in our book. My co-author, Jean, completely changed the lifelong dysfunctional relationship she had with her mom. She did it by herself. When she reads that section aloud at our book events, there isn’t a dry eye in the house.
trolleygirl said on October 26, 2011
You haven’t given us much information, like how old is your ‘grown’ daughter? Why do you feel like your daughter doesn’t respect you?
If she is in her early twenties, hopefully she’ll grow out it.
I would like to hear more detailed information.
BTW, I do agree with MiMi about respect being earned and actions speak louder than words.
judekazooty said on October 27, 2011
The antennas of those who are in the stage of maturing go up at any hint that someone is trying to control them. This is an issue in young marriages and with parents who are attempting to relate to maturing offspring. As the only child of my parents, who called me “the baby” until I was in my mid thiries..I would have gnawed off a limb to get away from their attitude toward me as it so dampened my feelings of being mature and being able to handle my own affairs and bring up my own children. My advice it don’t try to “tell her anything” and don’t agree with her to appease her either. Treat her with the respect you’d have for a new aquaintance, for that’s what she is to you now. After she gains confidence in her own maturity she will return to you the repect you’ve given her( with room/space to grow) To continue to desire a parenting as usual is a sure fire way to make her run..even if to you it doesn’t seem to be that way. Replay some of your past interactions and put yourself in her shoes just to make yourself more aware of how she’s seeing you. I know a young man who stopped speaking to his parents simply because they would not stop calling him “Bubba”..
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