Friendship and honesty

May 11, 2009 at 9:36 pm in Family & Relationships by Josephine Burrell

I would like to know “What individuals over 50 think about friendship and honesty?  I just had a break up with two friends, who did not know each other. 

The first person was a friend for 33 years. I thought we were great friends however  the presidential election came between us. She had changed political parties, never told me about this change and were not very happy about the election outcome. She did not want to talk about the election with me. I was shocked and very hurt. I was not very happy about the last two presidential elections, however, I accepted the President as all our President not just the ones that voted for him.  I never said anything uncomfortable to her regarding President Bush for eight years. She cannot give me the same repsect and want to limit what we can talk about, in order to remain friends.  I could not accept calling a person a friend and limiting what we could talk about. The last time we spoke was one week after the election. She had moved away to another state about 25-27 years ago however, we talked atleast 1-2 times a week for all these years, then not one phone call, after she told me that she was not happy with the election. I knew that out friendship was over because, I had always been able to talk to her about anything, at any time of day or night, but not one word from her in over six months. What’s your view on this friendship?

The second friend of only eight months, was someone I love very much because, she was a senior citizen like myself. She presented herself to me as a professional person, giving me her business card that said, she was a high school teacher an accountant. She had just moved to my city, even buying a house. We met at a bus stop and began to speak about the election because, she had a very large political button on her purse, for President Obama.  We had about a 1/2 hour bus ride before we both got to our destination. We talked at the bus stop and durning our trip.  We traded phone numbers.  She called me about two hours lated and we became friends. I was very happy for a brief period of time. It seem she had a problem with my positive attitude. She would cry at the drop of the hat.  She almost drove me insane; before, I realized that something was wrong with her.  At first, I thought she just had a low self-esteem and I tried to help her. However in four months, I was the one in the hospital complaining of a stomach ache and finding that  the relief I needed, was a break from this individual.  She sat by my bedside for a few days, holding my hand and telling me what good friends we were; then, she ran out of the hospital just before I was releast; went to her home and called my home leaving very nasty and demeaning comments for both my son  and I  to hear. I heard those two messages about two hours after I am home because, I called family members and friends to let them know I was home and feeling much better.  I told them all about this new friend, who insisted on being at the hospital with me and even coming early in the morning and staying most of the day.  I could not get her to leave.  Everyone thought she was a great friend and told me how lucky I was to have such a great friend. I had already sent her an email, thanking her for being such a great friend.  Then, about three hours later when I listened to my phone calls, I wa shocked and hurt beyond words, when I heard her voice, leaving a nasty message for my son. Saying she was tired of pulling hospital duty and babysitting me. She said, my son needed to grow up, be a man and take care of his mother. She called 30 minutes apart making the same kind of statement.  When I heard those phone calls, I felt like I was going out of my mind. I experienced such servere pain at that moment.  Why was this person, who called herself my friend, doing this to me. I felt like I was going to have a heart-attack. There was nothing that perpared me for that; however I knew I had to end this friendship because of the pain I was having in my chest, my stomach and my back at that moment.  I had just told everyone how much I loved this person and thought she loved me and BAM! I didn’t see it coming but, I knew I couldn’t handel this kind of relationship.  I sent her an email telling her as much.  My son is 42 years old and did exactly as I asked; to give me a day or so to  rest and for the doctors to find out why I was having  such stomach pain?  

 I would like others over 50 to comment on both of these relationships issues please. 

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