Estranged daughter

March 28, 2011 at 11:48 am in Family & Relationships by debbie leaf

Hello everyone,

I am brand new to this forum so I would like to say hi. Please excuse me if I get things wrong on here. As a newbie I will have to learn. 

I just wanted to put this out there: I have 4 daughters and 3 of them I have normal mother/daughter relationships with..

My 24 year old and I have not seen each other for over a year. Without going into the tragic details, she blames me for everything that has happened in the history of the world. She really hates me. Yet she was the one who basically fought and caused trouble with me and the rest of her family since she was little. I have numerous emails from her that really show how much she hates me.

To cut it short, i have received another 4 page scathing letter today. Scathing is putting it mildly. My husband (her stepdad) read it and shook as he said that to speak to anyone, let alone your Mum, like that was beyond human understanding.

Her sisters know what she is like but somehow seem to just accept that she is like that. However, my relationships with them are good (even though I wish sometimes they would speak up to her a bit).

My question is this: Am I evil or inhumane to just not care any more? Of course I love her and all that. I am speaking to women here so we all know a mother’s heart. Its just that this girl has been abusing me and calling me names such as “fat slut” etc since she was 11 years old and I kind of just got over it. 

This past year without having to walk on eggshells around her has been rather nice. I know i sound like the worst mother on the face of the earth (another of her favourite phrases about me) but it is true.

Can other ladies relate to this? I guess I feel that at 51, the years I have left need to be as peaceful as possible. My life hasn’t been easy and I know that divorce and remarriage are hard on kids but 3 out of 4 don’t treat me like filth. I can’t undo the past and I can’t stop her resentment to me. I kind of think something just shut down in my heart and its gone.

Your feedback would be appreciated, if I can work out how to find this post again, that is.

Thank you



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