Estranged Adult Daughter

September 26, 2012 at 10:47 pm in Family & Relationships by Anonymous

My daughter is 36 and over the past 22 years she has been disrespectful to me.  I have put up with it, then we argue about it, and we have a falling out and this has happened too many times to count.  I have 3 grandchildren that I love.  She doesn’t prevent me from seeing them.  But I am very uncomfortable around her.  She has recently said some very mean things to me and I have spent so much time and money on her and the kids.

I was a single mom raising her and I have mental problems that I didn’t understand to know how to address until 2001.  I am on medication now.  She sees me as weak and yet she is proud and will never apologize or admit she’s wrong.  I tried pleading with her to compromise and move forward but she won’t budge.  She says she is not responsible for my life.  I have never said that she was.  She has also told me that my 14 year old granddaughter feels uncomfortable around me because she thinks I judge her and don’t listen to her.  Now I am the one uncomfortable.

My heart is broken and I can’t stop crying.  I tried to relay that to my daughter and all she says is “it’s all about you!” type of remarks.  I live alone and I am 56 and still work full time.  I don’t drive so I can’t just go see my grandchildren and they don’t live near public transportation.  They have only one car which my son-in-law uses to go to work.  I feel so lonely and upset and I don’t think there is a way for my daughter and I ever to make peace.  No matter what I say she twists it and turns it against me.  I did dote on her a lot in the past because she was all I had.  I was over disciplined as a child so I tried to not be over strict yet I was protective of her and she always had love, a roof and clothes and food though I worked and we were poor.  But I did the best I could.  She saw me depressed and saw me have a nervous breakdown when she was in kindergarten and then she witnessed another in 2001 and then I got the help from medication.  She says things like “I love you but you are toxic to me”  the “but” pretty much ruled out love I think.  She is just so mean to me.