Can old lovers remain good friends

December 11, 2009 at 1:30 pm in Family & Relationships, Love & Sex by Shondelle

My boyfriend insists he can remain best friends with his old girlfriend. We are both in our 50’s and in a long distance relationship. He works in a job where he travels to the office where she is a secretary in the office he frequents every other week. When he goes there, he takes her to lunch and also gives her a donut when he arrives on the premises that she is helpful in assisting him on the job. She visits with him the entire time he is there going through files. I have voiced my displeasure about this relationship the two years we have been committed in our relationship, but he says I shouldn’t be threatened by their “friendship”. He offers her parenting, money, and relationship advice and they discuss industry gossip. She also calls him all the time throughout the weeks to discuss the same topics. I have severed all previous relationships with my ex-husband and prior two intimate relationships. He also does not communicate with his two ex-wives but does stay connected with this ex-girlfriend and other ex-girlfriend. 

This woman has made it very clear that she wants him back. She said they could get together and I wouldn’t have to know about it. Sometimes he will tell me about their conversations and other times, I ask, and then he will offer information. I have asked for total disclosure, and he said, “No problem.” However, he seems to not always tell me because I become so upset about the level of discussion they go into — her sex life with her boyfriends. I don’t think that is appropriate. 

Does anyone else have this situation troubling them or can anyone help me feel better about this?