A son is a son till he takes a wife

October 15, 2012 at 4:34 pm in Family & Relationships by DeeAnn

In so much pain. My son was married just seven short months ago. I thought he made an excellent choice and was hoping for a wonderful new life with a daughter since I had only two sons. I raised them on my own and the 3 of us lived together in harmony and love into their adult life. I re-married 5 yrs ago & moved in with my wonderful hubby, while boys stayed in my townhome, at a reduced rental rate (can’t sell with market tank). I wanted to help them since it is so hard for young people in such a bad economy. Then new daughter in law moved in after wedding and all seemed okay.

Now the new bride demands my single son move out within the next 30 days. She says she wants to paint his room and do some updating to the house, before they start having kids.  I tried to express my concern and reminded both sons and daughter in law that the house was mine, I am the landlord doing them a huge favor therefore I deserve some kind of respect, warning or communication that they were giving notice for my other son to vacate. I asked for them to at least be patient and allow him more time to find a decent and affordable place.

I was immediately put on notice by new daughter that this was none of my business! A crushing blow considering the financial support I have gifted them in more ways beyond the cheap rent. My married son says he stands by his new wife and I am reduced to another status, below the priority of husband and wife. He wants nothing more to do with me and both have now threatened to prevent any relationship with future grandchildren.

Was I wrong and clueless in my assumption that we could all be friends and that my relationship could still remain sweet with my son? I guess the saying I used in this title is quite accurate. I had heard this saying over the years, but never dreamed it would happen to me. I now resent the emotional and financial support since all I really wanted in return for my favors was respect and appreciation for what I had given. It is clear by their reaction that they are threatened that I have any control over their living space, even though I have not asked them for any details about the painting, updating etc.  I feel like I have been kicked in the teeth.   I am hurting beyond what can be expressed. Could really use some support – please !

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