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What do you do with the comment, “ACT YOUR AGE!” What does that mean? I’ll be celebrating my 60th birthday next month and I’m as happy as I’ve ever been. My job is my passion and all is well in that area. I only date 35-50 yr olds and can dance the night away. Oh yeah, and I still look good–curves and all. Soooo when women hit me with that one, just what are they saying????
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Shirley - what a breath of fresh air. It sounds like you are quite the extraordinary person. I'm going to take your advice and ask myself what would I like to do on this long holiday weekend! Who knows...I just might have some fun. The loneliness is Dear Wondering,
First of all, you will be in my prayers over the next few days. What a sad situation for you to cope with. I hope that he will provide properly for you ... Make sure you get legal advice right away especially if there's any possibi
Shirley,
Sounds like you do have a FABULOUS life already.I too have journals I kept of all ot my travels .They include my sketches of different places as well as recipes from local restaurants which I figures out on my own.
I will be 60 inI was diagnosed with plantar fasciitis for the first time at age 53. I have always exercised a lot. I know for sure that it came about after doing a lot of walking in Sketchers with no arch support. I love those shoes but from now on will only weaHi
I do keep journals but would never be arrogant enough to think anyone would want to read the details. I have been so very fortunate to have chosen a mild climate, a place within easy reach of Europe, and to have found a job which will take me to
They mean, “Stop enjoying your life so much because it’s making me uncomfortable with the lack of joy in my own.”
That’s exactly right. They only want you to be as miserable as they are…
Often, people over 50 are reluctant to get out of their rut, and experience new things (as per my therapist), and they may gravitate toward what is comfortable.
I say YOU GO GIRL! Life is short and some grasp this idea, and some don’t.
As we used to say in sales: some will, some won’t, so what (buy something). Apply this same idea to those people with a young spirit & adventurous heart!
So, make up your bucket list, go & do, even if you need to find new people to do things with!
I have no idea. I am about to be (gulp) 65!!!!! I am a Freshman in college…dancer, singer author, poetess, veteran!!
I have as much energy (wicked wit, sense of humor) as I did at 18! Born standin up and talkin back trying to get on National tv regarding one of my passions with my work with abused women and chlldren; been writing to media for over 10 years; I will never give up and willl have to live to be 100 in order to get my Master’s (counseling). Even if I KNEW what my age is supposed to act like…..I would still go with my fairy-child, free spirit and fly!
It really depends on which of your friends are telling you this. If it is your friend that you trust with your life, thats knows you better than you know yourself and you know always has your back, then listen to her. Sit down with her and ask what you are doing that is frightening her because she will be honest. If its casual friends, then look in the mirror see what they see and if you like it go on with your life.
I never have been able to figure out what ‘act you age’ means. Does that also mean when you’re having a silly time with kids or just when with adults. I tell kids all the time they can be an adult some day, but never grow up. I get told I laugh too much as well. How can you laugh too much? I have ended friendships because those people love their misery too much. I can not live with that much negativity. A large part of my family don’t act their age and we tend to have a great time no matter what we’re doing. It has gotten us through a lot of tough times.
I agree with the posts above. Often when a “friend” says “act your age” what they are really saying is stop enjoying life so much, you’re making me uncomfortable.
Sounds correct. “Stop doing what I would not do” is usually in there somewhere. And often we only say it to people who are behaving as brats” doing things we, ourselves would love to do and lack the courage.
I think part of the problem is that we, as women & as a society, still have that knee-jerk reaction of stating our age. Like the comments above (which I’m not criticizing) where we say “<gulp> I’m 65,” we make it seem that women over a “certain” age have to be embarrassed by those years.
Instead, we must Glorify our ages and stand tall & proud at each and every year! Like the famous women who shout, “Look at what 65, 60, 70 & 82 can look like!”, we need to embrace our age, cheer about it. Take the lead from those women you admire, like Meryl Streep or Susan Saradon or Betty White.
I have to ask, Who’s more gorgeous and beloved than Betty White?
So, the next time someone says “Act your age”, just tell them that you, of course, ARE acting that age by saying, “This IS the new 59! I can’t WAIT to be 70!”
Thanks ladies for the comments. Let me clarify, the one saying “act your age” was not my close bud but an acquaintance. I knew exactly what she meant . . .translation “wow I wish I could do that!” I’m loving this life and sooooo thankful God let me see it. I’m determined to enjoy the journey and . . . be more honest. If I ever hear that comment again I’m going to ask, “tell me how YOU want me to act since the wonderful life I’m living is bothering you!” And yes, Gran-nan, if my tight girls came up with a comment like that, indeed I would take heed because they know me well.
All I can say is LIVE!!!!
My mother always said “age is just a number”. I have also told people that say ‘act your age’, that I am acting my age. It’s me doing it, so I must be acting my age. My friends are all ages for different reasons. I have always admired people that just live and don’t let their age be a determiner of how they do things or act. This is it. Take me or leave me. I am who I am.
Maybe, you are doing something that you look foolish doing and you think you look good doing it. They probably don’t know how to tell you otherwise – and so they use the expression -ACT YOUR AGE! And as far as comparing myself with celebrities like Meryl Streep and Susan Sarandon who can afford the very best in keeping themselves in the best appearance that they can – I wouldn’t begin to compare myself with them. You only know what the media or what they wish to disclose about themselves to the public. Enjoy the movie and keep the actresses in the proper perspective; and remember that they are actresses all the time while they are exposed to the public eye. Who knows what goes on behind closed doors. If you are comfortable with what you are doing – than why even write the letter? Maybe, you need affirmations about your lifestyle – if so? than I would meditate on that.
Who other than me is the determiner of whether I look foolish or not (acting my age)? Maybe it’s ok to look foolish. It doesn’t hurt anyone. Am I looking foolish in the middle of the park playing games and pretending with my grandbaby? If I can get up the slide, I go. People judge on their own bias. I am very comfortable in who I am and do not need an intervention or affirmation about my lifestyle. It has been scientifically proven that laughter is good medicine. Do professional clowns act their age? If we feel joy, why not show it?
Obviously you are looking for some kind of approval or you wouldn’t have written the letter. By the way professional clowns get paid for what they do. Psychology teaches us that clowns are really crying on the inside because they cannot deal with their lives. Feel joy – but, do it with class, my love!
Acting my age is not about looking good at it or not. I do have class. Not all clowns are paid and crying on the inside. Maybe Anonymous needs approval that it’s ok to judge someone on who they are or act based on their age. Maybe they see it as a reflection of who they really are or wish they could be. I am a very responsible person who just posted that age is just a number and what one person thinks is not acting your age is not someone else’s idea of acting your age. This is not a courtroom. It is just a place for people to make comments. You have made a judgement on people because of their age. No approval necessary. I live with who I am.
Years ago, I used to be concerned about “looking foolish,” but no longer. At the ripe old age of 51, I think I’ve finally gotten it … the labels that people try to pin on you are usually born of their own insecurity, there are joy stealers in life, the “misery loves company” type of people who just clamor for well, the company.
As a professional, mature, intelligent woman I’m fairly certain I know when I look foolish or not, and I can attest that most of the time anyone claiming that I might “look foolish” is jealous because I do have a new found joie de vivre. I have so much more fun now in my life then I did when I was overly concerned whether I was being judged or not, maybe it’s the gift that comes with age, maybe it’s just being highly aware of my mortality. The only times I’ve ever really looked foolish in my life has been, and I admit this with regret, in my salad days when I used to go out “partying with the gals” and drink a bit too much. That’s rarely flattering for anyone, and yes, the gates of foolishness have the opportunity to swing open on those nights.
As far as loving life and grabbing it by the horns, enlivened spirits do that much to the chagrin of others who can’t. I’ll give you an example: Many years ago I was out to dinner at a chic, upscale restaurant with my some friends and their extended family. This one woman, who was in her 70′s at the time, was in our party. She was by nature a surly type, overly-critical of everyone, generally unpleasant to the waitstaff, emasculated her kind and compliant husband, you get the type.
The dance floor was close to our table. As we sat having our after dinner drinks, we watched other patrons dancing. This one man, who had to be in his late-80′s I would guess, gets up with this much younger woman, who was probably around 50-55 yrs old. She was well-preserved, had a nice figure, maybe a tad seductively dressed, but not overt. While he was rather crinkly and wrinkly, she was a spitfire type. I don’t know whether they were a couple, or just friends out for the night, it didn’t matter.
Anyway, they get up and the band starts to play this nice, up tempo, Latin song. Well, Mr. 80-plus and Miss Spitfire started, to the delight of the other patrons, cha-cha-ing and rumba-ing and letting loose (well, as loose as an 80-plus guy can get.) He had a smile on face wider than the Grand Canyon. She rumba-d, he shuffled and missed a few beats. They were living life and having fun.
Miss Surly comments to the table something to the effect of “Oh look at that fool” and the standard “There’s no fool like an old fool” you know … stereotypical arrows pointed at an older man/younger woman combo. All I could think at that moment was there you are, sitting back and snipping at people, and there he was, with an enormous smile on his face. Everyone else was thinking what I was thinking …”Well, he’s living life, I bet it beats sitting home infirmed.”
Most of us can discern when we’ve been “foolish” … too much wine, lampshade on my head … check – I’ve been foolish. Gold lame’ mini-skirt, 5″ heels at my age … ehh… check – probably not the best look for a woman over 50 and pushing the envelope. You get my drift. Having fun, letting loose, feeling joy, rolling in the mud with your pets, dancing your heart out = Joy. Life’s too short.
What’s that famous saying? … “You gotta dance like nobody’s looking …”
Looking foolish or not acting your supposed age only lasts minutes. And it can give you years of laughter. Especially if you are the one laughing. Life throws too much serious for some people. If they could just live one day with a little foolishness and not acting their age, who knows what would life be like.
I also do not live in regret of the past. You can’t do anything to change what you said or did so why dwell on it and let it fester. Just strive to be a better you.
I wouldn’t act my age, even if I knew what that was supposed to look like! I was born with joie de vivre and plan to keep it….I mean, I was born with it, so how can I lose it!!??
65 year old Freshman in college, singer, dancer, poetess, veteran, mover, shaker, standin up and talkin backer, etc………
Go ladies! And when you dance, dance an extra one for those of us your age who would if we could, but can’t!