I watched Dolly Parton on Oprah last week. Her face didn’t move at all. Her dipples were gone..She’s not a role model for most of us women. We can’t look at her and say wow she looks great for her age when she is full of chemicals and muscle paralizing injections. I’m working on being healthy inside and out. I’m focusing on the quality of my life..why do I have to look 20 years old with an aging body? If you feel better with work done…that’s great but do you really? This is an honest question not a judgement. I’m fascinated with this culture of body imagine issues.
0 like
Permalink: http://www.vibrantnation.com/fashion-beauty/why-cant-we-women-age-gracefully-do-you-really-feel-better-with-plastic-surgery-i-really-want-to-know/
Yes I have thick legs with thick ankles, my Dad's! Tights the same color as the dress or bone shoes with bare legs. Not a straight skirt and never patterned stockings or leggings!
Two issues (I hope). I must must take umbrage with the phrase "be ashamed until....." BE ASHAMED??? of what, when, where?? Never. It is impossible to be a child of God -- whole and perfect and be ashamed. When has shame ever 
Tas, Since in this country from the day you are born, looks are a main subject. There are posts about this in search. Just like females learn to be second class citizens from birth, taught by family, friends and church, culture, tradition! It is engrained so subtle, and we see the proof. The cosmetic industry is making out like a bandit. Now don’t get me wrong, I intent to look my best without needles or surgery, if a cream can’t help, oh well!
The faces may look younger, yet they can’t jump rope, only walk so far, climb what!! keep up with who?! I have seen women and men who are older then myself no gray hair and I must say look foolish, MO. We are taught to dislike aging, gray hair, and loose bodies…taught to hate ourselves, interesting indeed!….TRACK
Tas: GOOD FOR YOU!!! I – too – HATE PLASTIC SURGERY!!! I could never understand why today’s women (and men) can’t see the beauty in aging gracefully. There are waaaay too many celebrities opting to look like space aliens in order to catch that elusive fountain of youth. I’ve always thought that the story one’s face has to tell as they age is a beautiful thing. As far as the body aging – well – doesn’t everything? My feeling is – if you loved me when I was young and gorgeous – you can love me just as much – if not more – now that I’m old(ER) and not as firm. And if you don’t – well – #)%(^_ you because I will survive.
I happened to catch the end of that Oprah show. She looks like a BratZ doll. And if I’m not mistaken, Kenny Rogers must know her plastic surgeon … suddenly his eyes are slits. What’s wrong with these people? They still sound the same, still bring the same joy to the world with their music – why can’t that be enough?
I didn’t see Dolly, but she was always so gorgeous, she didn’t need a thing done.
I agree with Kenny – he looks horrible. They are both country artists – are there some really horrible plastic surgeons in Tennessee? Both could afford the best, but seemed to have settled for something less than mediocre. I always thought Kenny was very handsome.
Now, not sayin’ I’d totally ignore some possible work, but it is on the bottom of the list. Just noticed yesterday as I was putting yet another temporary filling in a crater that needs repaired (and I cannot afford it at all) that things seemed to have taken a definite turn to the south. Gravity is not my friend. I have new white hairs springing up daily (stress has added a lot of them to the gathering) both north and south of the border. I’d love one of those lifetime lift thingies that seem to rid ladies of their jowls. But, I draw the line at Botox. I really don’t want to insert poison into my skin! Face it – it is toxic. I am sure some of these disasters we see on celebrity faces are from their body’s immune response to the toxins being shot into them.
Hi Tas,
Wellll, I have had a partial face lift (ten years ago) and love it!!! I am so glad that I had it done. It was costly, but worth every penny! Finding the right surgeon is so important!
The first week was painful, but all was fine after that!
I had ‘bags’ and dark circles under my eyes, jowls forming and voila’ all was smoothed out and I was thrilled.
I have no plans for further surgeries and agree what people go way too far!!
Also, I do work on the inside out part, too.
To each her own, I guess.
My face is the last thing I’m worried about these days. There is sooooo much more to life than your face. If my value as a human being, is to be judged by my face, I might just as well walk around with a bag over my head. My thoughts are more substantial than my face. I live a healthy life style, I try to keep a positive outlook on all things. I’m not 20 years old anymore, and I’m relieved in that. I don’t feel the pressure to be beautiful. I don’t think I’m ugly, I don’t think I’m a beauty, I know I am a normal middle age woman, who is happy just to be. I don’t need to set any trends. I just want to be healthy, and able bodied. I feel fine about my face, saggy boobs, jiggly thighs, bouncy butt. There is so much more to me than my skin. I like me. I have so many things to ponder in my life other than my face. Life is a funny thing. I want to have fun, not worry about my skin. I’m changing just about every time I look in the mirror, wow, who is that looking back at me? Where did she come from? Then I giggle, time is marching across my face with army boots! My body is like a fairy tale book, every time you turn the page the people change shape and form. I wonder what I will look like and who I will be at the end? Thats the biggest mystery.
ROFLMAO! Loved your fairy tale comparison! Ain’t it the truth?
I see people trying to get boob lifts, butt lifts, etc etc. My own boobs have not looked outward since third grade, when they found the ground to be a fascinating subject. The butt and thighs? Yeah right. Never had that either. Each day is truly an adventure to see what will be working, what has slid south, and what might have given up entirely. Aging isn’t for sissies!
You got that right! I believe Bette Davis said that…TRACK
Thanks for all your responses. I’m glad a facelift helped one of the ladies on this thread. My concern is once again women have to look young when they aren’t. Kenny Rogers looks horrible. He looks destorted. His voice and talent is so unbelievable….and now he has to live with a face that doesn’t look like himself. He looks goofy. I’d rather look like my age then look like a goof. There’s always trade offs. As I mature, I have to think about that in every important decision; otherwise the consequences can be sever.
I’m working so hard not to buy into this plastic culture. I’m surrounded by women doing this in my city. I’m all for do what you have to do..it’s your business and you have every right. But I feel resentful ladies that we have to pay so much to look like a confused crazy barbie doll. Woman’s rights went right out the door after all our hard work.
I recently saw Golden Hawn (who I have always adored). I was so disappointed in how she looked and acted. Also she kept putting on lip gloss every fifteen minutes, fluffying her hairand talking about her 8 day juice in Maui. She talked about her 8 pound loss (she is skin in bones) and she had a hard time talking about her beautiful daughter Kate. That really bothered me; why because she was clearly jealous of her own daughter. She has all the money she would ever need, a sexy man, all healthy beautiful adult children and she’s so messed up because of her looks. I felt sorry for her and myself…she held out for so long…then her lips look goofy her face looks swollen…and for what? I would love to hear more. Ciao
I’m 62 this week and would i like to look younger …absolutely! Am I going to have plastic surgery…probably not. Looks have always been very important to me but as I “mature” in mind, body and spirit, I’ve gone to a new place. I now understand why I should have taken better care of my body and I would rather be thinner and healthy, which I’m working at, than ‘wrinkleless”.
60 was a turning point for me and I truly understand that it’s none of my business to judge others on anything, and it’s none of their business to judge me. How I look is a personal decision.
I continue to work and I just want to pass on my wisdom and love to my family, because I realize how short life really is now. Whoever is saying that 60 is the new 50 is probably no where near 60! I’m smarter, more patient, non-judgemental, content, less stressed , more loving, but unfortunately , fatter and I don’t recognize the person in the mirror!! The great news is that I’m OK with that! LOL!
Once again, mine was partial. I didn’t want to look ‘plastic’ and losing the dark circles and the jowls made all the difference.
It’s been ten years, now, and I have no desire for more ‘lifts’. I have totally enjoyed my fresher look and have never regretted my decision.
People who continue to have surgeries, Joan Rivers comes to mind, have some kind of sickness. I don’t put myself in that category…not at all.
I also did lots of research and found a top notch surgeon. He did a great job!
Good for you Evie
I think everyone has a right to do what makes them feel good. My issue is more about wanting to age gracefully without so much pressure to look young when I’m not. I see my changes, I struggle at times with the aging process too. I feel young at heart, and love my life. My struggle is healing and recovering from back surgery; and getting stronger and managing my pain. Actually, learning to live with it. I have many friends that had surgery to look younger. Most of them are still looking for the fountain of youth even though I think they are beautiful. That’s concerning.
Seems that all the work women have done in history to empower women to be more about who we are not how we make others feel continues via the ongoing fountain of youth. It takes courage to step out and say I’m who I am…like it or not. To wear a bathing suit is another step of courage!!!
I’m reinventing myself as we speak, making new like minded friends, just accepted a Regional position (volunteer) with a nonprofit organization that is making life changes for women and children in impoverished Countries. These types of things give me a daily lift and a daily surge of energy that no Botox will give me. That’s my magic for today!!
Ciao
I had a facelift about 18 years ago and I was thrilled with the results, so that’s my superficial answer. I was thrilled except for my neck which still looked kind of crepy, but at that time I don’t think there was the technology to do it all and have it still look natural, and I did look natural. However, to dig a little deeper, why was this so crucial to me? Was it because, as Track posits, that society teaches us to hate aging? Or as WiserNow suggests, our value as human beings is judged by the attractiveness of our faces? Sad, but more than “somewhat” true. Or that my dad placed total emphasis on my looks and devalued everything else about me? That I was afraid of disappearing if I didn’t continue to be as attractive as I had been? IOWs, issues of self-esteem. No doubt, all of the above. And so I questioned my decision recently on this site, when I asked “What kind of message did I send to my preteen granddaughter? She doesn’t know that I had this done, but one day she may, and I wanted to be able to say to her, “I know your looks mean a lot to you, but there are other things about you that are far more valuable than looks.” I wanted to be able to do this while looking her straight in the eye. I never went back for more and never will. I want to be more like Marianne who says here, “I’m ok with how I look as I age” – I’m paraphrasing. I’d like to respect myself more for how I’m maturing, not what I look like.
What I’d like to know is; what is the cutoff point, where we are going too far? I remember the ad “Does she or doesn’t she? Only her hairdresser knows for sure.” Apparently, this wasn’t something you talked about openly at one time. Earlier, lipstick and blusher (rouge, then) was looked upon as the sign of a loose woman. Now, only going under the knife gets bad press. But you can have laser to improve your skin and other costly but less invasive procedures. I’ve never heard of anyone having a philosophical problem with these, but it comes down to the same thing. Women have to be fixed in most societies, but men don’t (usually). However, most other societies, except for the Western and Westernized ones, don’t regard the looks of an aging person as a curse. What do you think, Tas, and others? Should we pare ourselves down to chapstick, and that only if our lips are feeling chapped? Is that ridiculous or mentally (and physically) healthier? Input needed, ’cause I sure don’t know.
Hi Crystalli
Thanks for being so honest and courageous with your experience and feelings. I respect you for that. This is exactly what I was looking for. A dialog about what are we really trying to do and is it helping or is it creating an endless search for something others want us to be.
I’m glad you felt better with your face lift. Again, I fault no one for their choices; it’s not my business and I don’t want someone judging me. What I’m doing and searching for is ways for internal happiness, self esteem, quality of life, an internal fountain of youth that creates a youthful and healthy feeling that no one can take away from me no matter what they say.
I’m sorry about your father’s hurtful behavior. Both my parents judge people who are over weight. Both my brothers HAVE have wives/girlfriends that look like super models. It’s hurtful to watch their wives feel at times they don’t cut it. The funny thing is my brothers have written books about being nonjudgmental, being kind…. their wives feel so under valued. How’s that for a bunch of BULLSHIT. This is the world we live in ladies….My younger sister and I have gained weight over the years. Mine has been because of limitations that are caused from my back. Then surgery and now recovering. The weight is coming off slowly. My husband still thinks I’m sexy…of course that’s why I’m with him. He’s a real man. A man who accepts aging and accepts women …I’ve seen pictures and met his former wife and girlfriends. I wanted this in a man before I moved forward in the relationship.
Well…as you see I could go on and on. I’m passionate about women being free!! Being free is being youthful. I’ve been that way since I was five years old. I saw then what I continue to see in the world…harsh cruel judgment by families, friends and society. It’s a miracle we’ve all made it this far…hey that’s says a lot of about our strength and abilities not our face. LOL
It’s not your dad’s life it’s yours. It’s not my parent’s or brother’s life or their twisted reality of life it’s mine. My life and I’m going to do what makes me feel good not what others want, think or judge. That’s my ongoing mantra….do what makes me feel good from the inside out…my choice not what society says I have to do, act like or look like. Our lives are more then TV commercials, magazines or some one dimensional figure that walks around like a motionless grown up starving confused barbie doll like Dolly Pardon looks like. I’m sure she’s nice but give me a break…we have more important things to do on this planet then that. We need to think about our daughters, granddaughters, sisters, friends and other women in life. How do we empower others as we empower ourselves…that’s a full time job right there. Okay too much coffee…time to go plant some flowers on my deck!! This has been fun..thanks for sharing and teaching me. Tamara