Herewith, notes from a traveler on the streets of northern Italy, reporting on what Italian women are eating, drinking and wearing. I’m not talking about the fashionistas of Milan, but the real Italian woman going about her daily business. Just back from ten days in Verona and the Alto Adige of northern Italy, I can share some observations that, I hope, delight you, as they did me.
First, the clothes. The go-to garment is skin-tight jeans, snug from top to bottom, no flares, no bells, no boot-cut. Italian women seem to have a generous helping of love for their bodies, squeezing into those jeans regardless of their size, shape or weight. And they have their own sense of style, none seeming a slave to fashion. Since it was a cool spring, they were wearing layers, alternating snug with flowing, mixing up the textures, too. For example, a tight-fitting tank top under a loose jersey with a slinky thigh-length sweater over all. Or a starchy, pressed cotton shirt, white or striped, collar up, under a chunky pullover with a dramatically low V-neck.
Since it was cool and breezy, scarfs were in evidence, wound around the neck or holding back a pony tail. I also saw flouncy, mid-thigh skirts and dresses. No more minis and nothing calf-length. This is a summery, young look, worn with a linen jacket with sleeves pushed up to the elbows, to display a mass of bracelets and bangles on the wrist.
The Italian woman has sleek hair, shoulder length or longer. It’s shiny and natural, cut in a simple, easy-to-care-for style, perhaps kept off the face by a headband or a pair of sunglasses pushed onto the head.
As for what’s on the feet, I was surprised to see that glossy patent leather is the material of choice. I saw everything from lime green pumps with 4-inch heels, to ballet flats in magenta and orange. In fact, flats with barely-there rounded toes adorned with bows and buttons appear everywhere, whereas platform shoes are finished. Shop windows display rope-soled espadrilles in soft leather, linen and rough cotton. Beiges and browns are on offer, as are styles with lengths of grosgrain ribbon or leather thongs to wrap and tie around the ankle. Whether walking to work or riding a bike to a shop, no one dons sneakers for the trek. Whatever shoe belongs with the outfit is on the foot for walking and cycling, too.
When it comes to food and drink, women in northern Italy know how to indulge their passions. At cafes there were tables with two or three women having an espresso and, yes, a slice of tart or a pastry. Lunch time found the same convivial atmosphere at osterias, where a simple meal could include a soft, creamy polenta speckled with chunks of gorgonzola, followed by a plate of steak tartare served with bowls of capers, green peppercorns and sharp mustard. Thin crust pizzas with a light smear of tomato sauce under the topping of choice are popular, eaten, of course with a fork and knife. A glass, pitcher or bottle of wine accompanied the meal, because the two are meant for each other.
And speaking of food, creative risottos were top of the daily menu: with blueberries and juniper, endive and ham, the season’s freshest asparagus. This was a great inspiration to go home and add whatever was freshest from the farmer’s market when I next make this rice dish.
Early evening at my favorite prosciutteria, women appeared, often with their children, other times with a partner, for a reviving plate of luscious 42-month-old prosciutto and an aperitif. The standard aperitif is the Aperol Spritz, made with the bittersweet day-glo orange Aperol, prosecco and a dash of seltzer. It’s served in a big, balloon stemmed glass, with a thick slice of orange. Those wanted something more traditional would have a Campari Spritz, ditching the orange Aperol sweetness for the pure bitterness of magenta red Campari. I tried both and found I still prefer the plain old Campari and soda.
I loved the free spirit of the way women in Verona dressed, bringing their own sense of style and accessorizing to what they wear, regardless of what Italian Vogue espouses. Their ability to indulge in the pleasures of the table with three-course meals was refreshing. And the sanity of a culture which accepts that proper parents are not going to be plying their kids with alcohol just because they, as a family, stop for a cocktail while walking home, is, in my book, to be applauded. We can all take something from this. Personally, looking at how snug my jeans are now, I think I took home an extra five pounds of it!
See also: Beautiful By Any Standard
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Love this post! It’s true, refreshing and most certainly a good read. I love Italy and Italian women know how to look good without fussing. We should be so lucky as to do the same. Thanks!
I could go to Italy for just a class on being a true Italian woman. I am 61 yrs old and do look young, but the women there outshine most American women. The Italians have a zest for life, know what hospitality is and most are thin or not fat.
This is due to eating fresh foods, lots of vegetables and walking, lots of walking. After dinner most Italians walk to the piazza (town square) for conversation.
For lessons on living, food and everyday fashion…go to Italy. Enjoy!
I’m an American living in Italy just outside Florence in the Chianti hills and really enjoyed your observations. Italians do have a flair…for just about everything. My biggest attraction is the lack of hurry. Thought, pride and energy are put into the simplest things. Here, we live purposefully and slowly, enjoying the everyday things. We are not bombarded with choices, which frees up our minds.
I love that everything is old, so the need to remodel, change out, upgrade, trade-in, and change is removed. We do focus on the change of season, which means the foods we eat and the activities we do. Summer is to enjoy the outdoors, go to the seaside and garden fresh foods. Fall is festival time, grape and olive harvests.
And I love the rhythm of the day with its up and down of energy. Rise at 8, work 9-1pm, lunch and nap, work 4-8pm, dinner at home, then walk in the piazza for a coffee or a chat. Now it stays light until 9:30 pm or so. In my old life, I would rise at 5am, hit the gym, car pool/commute , work 9-6pm, grabbing a quick light lunch, commute/a glass of wine to unwind while I made dinner, asleep in front of the tv by 9 or 10. It is impossible to be productive all day. Longer days is not the answer, but managing energy and focused action makes much for sense. No one really talks about what you do for a job, but everyone talks about food.
One summer, I worked as a private teacher in Italy after graduating college – it was the best time! We worked at lessons after breakfast, biked to the beach for lunch and some time in the water (or for fair-skinned me, under the umbrella with a book and soaking up the reflected sun). Mid-afternoon, a little more math review, brain games, maybe back to the beach, stopping for something to cook for supper, and out in the evening to join the rest of society to shop, have a cold drink and people watch – heaven (I ate all the time and still lost 10 pounds!)
Are there any jobs over there so I can move —
Why not live for 6 months and work for 6. Just like a foreigner moving to the USA, you need a work visa. I suggest you go to Italy, rent a room in someone’s home or rent a furnished apartment for a 1-3 months and live the Italian lifestyle. See my post below for the website. I did it for 3 months the first year and had the time of my life. Not working gave me a chance to reset my internal clock and learn to live without constant stimulation. Busyness is a trick of ego and makes you feel important or accomplished when all you do is run in a circle. Europeans do less and accomplish more. I did it with very little money because I rented out my home and reduced all my monthly bills to a cell phone, health insurance and storage unit.
I return to the USA each winter and take a tipped job in a high season, high tourist resort area where I can make a enough cash to live on the 6-8 months in Italy.
The cost of living in Italy is very low even though the exchange rate is not in our favor. Without a car, tv, and other luxuries descised as necessities, I found I could live cheaper than by keeping my home, properly tax, house insurance, car payment, car insurance, pool guy, yard guy, cleaning lady, cable, health club membership, cc membership, hair and nail appts, etc.
It is a different way of life but I replace the “money wheel” with time, freedom, adventure and travel. Now I collect experiences, not stuff.
It seems like lots of us dream of living in Italy..or abroad for that matter. Why not live for 6 months and work for 6? Just like a foreigner moving to the USA, you need a work visa. I suggest you go to Italy, rent a room in someone’s home or rent a furnished apartment for a 1-3 months and live the Italian lifestyle. See my post below for the website. I did it for 3 months the first year and had the time of my life. Not working gave me a chance to reset my internal clock and learn to live without constant stimulation. Busyness is a trick of ego and makes you feel important or accomplished when all you do is run in a circle. Europeans do less and accomplish more. I did it with very little money because I rented out my home and reduced all my monthly bills to a cell phone, health insurance and storage unit.
I return to the USA each winter and take a tipped job in a high season, high tourist resort area where I can make a enough cash to live on the 6-8 months in Italy.
The cost of living in Italy is very low even though the exchange rate is not in our favor. Without a car, tv, and other luxuries descised as necessities, I found I could live cheaper than by keeping my home, properly tax, house insurance, car payment, car insurance, pool guy, yard guy, cleaning lady, cable, health club membership, cc membership, hair and nail appts, etc.
It is a different way of life but I replace the “money wheel” with time, freedom, adventure and travel. Now I collect experiences, not stuff.
I am a dual citizen and have lived on and off in Italy for years. Now at 58 hubby and me have decided to retire to Italy (from NY)…I know that all you say is so true, have seen it, have lived it. I went to High school Liceo in Milano, so many yrs ago….as an adult I appreciate it so much more, differently. the US is tough to retire in. Politically and socially, the US does not appreciate the older generation.
Our health insurance was a big deciding factor for us. Because I am a citizen in Italy my hubby is also Italian thru marriage, therefore we qualify for the Italian health care. My parents are in their 80′s and I can tell you that they are very happy with their care, their doctors, and everything involved with it.
I will add this to anyone who is thinking of moving there” do yourself a favor and learn the language. whether you work or not, you are missing the experience if you don’t get the entire culture thru Italiano.
Noi andremo a vivere in Liguria, Imperia precisamente. Nothing like the Italian Riviera, nothing! btw, my thumbnail pic is the town we are moving near, although we will probably try different areas.
Definitely learn another language! It’s never too late to start but it’s much easier for kids. If I had it to do over, I would have put my daughter in Spanish language only daycare. She could have been bi-ligual even though I was not. Kids are sponges up to about age 6 and can easily learn multi- languages at the same time. My language teacher speaks only English to their small children (3 and 5) and his wife speaks only German and they are picking up Italian from friends and other family members. I’m so envious!
We were surrounded by Spanish in Orlando and I never took any interest. It doesn’t matter if Spanish is not your desired language, just learn what it around you so you can practice, so your brain learns to switch over. My friends who speak Spanish have a much easier time picking up Italian. As for me, I have “survival” Italian, meaning I can get along but often get lost when the conversation really gets going. I agree with Lildee. My experience would be so much richer if I could really chat with the old timers and learn about their lives. Still a student!
Don’t let lack of language stop you coming going. There is plenty of English around. I didn’t speak a word in the beginning and I still fell in love!
I would love to be able to speak with you as you are living a lifelong dream I’ve had. Would it be possible for you to email me so we can begin a conversation. I would love your input as I am basically a “chicken” at heart, but feel that this is the kind of avenue I’m longing to explore. My email is gdolnick@gmail.com.
Thanks and best,
Gail
How I envy you! I so enjoyed the lifestyle in Italy. I finished a wonderful book by James Shaw, An Italian Journey. It describes his 7 wks harvesting olives in Tuscany and the lives -of the people in Italy. Exactly as you say Barbara!
If I didn’t have grandchildren I would live there.
Living in Italy or abroad will change who you are and how you view yourself and life. It is the best thing I have ever done. I am happy to talk to you about pursuing this idea, here on line. It is so doable, although most think is it out of our reach. I fell like I like a much better lifestyle for far less money than I did in the USA. I love my country …but there is another way.
My husband and I are interested too. We are near retirement and would like to stretch our fairly limited funds yet enjoy a good life. We loved both Italy and France. Will you be discussing it here? Or my e-addy is fischerpat@hotmail.com.
Hello, thanks for your post. I am a widow, I have for some time been interested in Italy, was never able to find anyone around here to discuss the possiablity with. Do you have a email? or maybe you could drop me a note at your leisure. us1lady@aol.com. I have lived abroad before for 14 years. Been back in the states for 12 years. I love my country as well but there’s a better way! Thanks for sharing.
Barbara Elaine Singer, what did you put in to pull up room for rent in Tuscany? I am happy I read your post. How exciting you sound for life. Your spirit and engery can be felt, I have enjoyed your post and look forward to reading more in the future. my email is us1lady@aol.com
I love my country and my family too. If you could email me at bmonroe739@aol.com I would love to discuss the possibilities for my husband and I.
I too would love to hear more about living abroad without breaking the bank! Love your post. Such a refreshing change from the usual focus on wrinkle and weight.
To the original post - We went to Italy for 3 weeks last spring and were delighted how even inexpensive goods were somehow classier than what we have here. I agree with the womens dress comments. We were early spring however, so instead of fancy shoes, those tight jeans we accompanied by good, sturdy sensible boots, in order to be comfy on the cobblestones. Oh, and the ubiquitous scarf, I bought so many beautiful ones there, just on the market stalls!
Voglio ritornare in Italia doppo di leggere quest’articolo.
So glad to see my report on Italian women sparked dreams, desires, and foreign language replies!!!
What a lovely read….Thank you! It has been my dream for so many years to go to Italy, but to be able to live there for 3 or 4 months out of the year would be glorious. I know that all things are possible, even when we don’t see how. I think it is time again for me to give it to the universe to figure out at least a hint for me….awww, just dreaming about it gives me joy…
How I moved to Italy without a Breaking the Bank.
As a single, 45 year old woman, I moved to Tuscany even though I didn’t know anyone or the language. I rented a room from a woman in her home that I found on the internet. My purpose for going was to experience the Italian lifestyle and really live the way Italians do. I wanted to shop in the markets and cook, stroll the windy streets of the hill towns, nap in the afternoons, spend hours in galleries and, not rush through my days.
The first year, I went for 3 months with about $3000. I brought 2 suitcases and a computer. My room was about $500 dollars a month and the rest I spent on buses/trains, museums, wine, a daily gelato and other food. The cost of living in Italy is very low, even though the Euro is not in our favor. I did not stay in a hotel, rent a car or eat in fancy restaurants. You can eat very well on a budget. Believe me, a bowl of pasta, a slice of pizza or other “street” food is very inexpensive and delicious.
In most places, the language is not a problem. Live abroad first, then see what you need to do about it later. You might start out in Italy and end up in Germany, Spain or France.
Know the weather. I went in May- so spring , then long hot summer days. Pack light! Keep it simple. 2 hands-2 luggages. 50 pound max for the flight.
Renting a car is expensive ($500 a week) and driving is a competition sport! If you have one, it will make getting around easier but not in the cities. Parking is a problem everywhere. Make sure you can park it where you live. You do not need an International drivers license to drive a rental, but you do if you are driving a local’s car. I did not drive the first year, but I do now.
I didn’t work or try to “recreate” my old life. I didn’t have TV and limited my contact with the outside world. The isolation forced me to think on my own and not be bombarded with the opinions of others. I was extremely careful what media I let into my world. It is hard to reset your internal clock without taking a break from over stimulation. I replaced this with purposeful reading, journaling, learning about art, music, language, history and architecture. I reveled in the enjoyment of having no schedule. I explored my area, rode my bike and watched and learned how the Italians love life.
You can go to Italy (all of the European Union (UE) as a visitor for 3 months without any special visas, but you can’t work, vote or get healthcare, just as a foreigner coming to the USA. I ended up staying 5 months the first year without a problem. Check out: http://www.sublet.com . There are other sites, like http://www.easystanza.it (you can change it to English)
My criteria:
Near Florence (I ended up near Arezzo)
Walking distance to bus and/or on the train line.
Internet
All inclusive- furnished with utilities
Host speaks English
If you are going with a partner, you can easily find an apartment. As a single, I liked living with another person and did it several times. The first year, I rented for a month at a time so I could try different areas. I lived in the countryside, then in Florence, and then at the seaside, just to try out different areas and discovered I liked the countryside. Remember, you are not buying the place, just passing through. Stay open minded. Everything is different and funky. It’s a bit like living in the 1950’s. I’ve found that too many choices make us unhappy too, so enjoy the simplicity.
I never looked as it as a vacation but more as a “reinventing” of my live and focused on the quality of how I wanted to spend my days. My only child was off in college, I was divorced from long term marriage and my fiancé died of heart attack. I knew I did not want to spend the rest of my life chasing a dollar and that a house and job did not mean security and one knows how it is all going to play out. My goal was to live within my means and then I figured out how to sustain it!
1. Go first for an extended period of time, and really get into your city/area.
2. Do not bring more luggage than you can handle without assistance.
3. Rent all inclusive. Furniture/utilities/sheets/pots and pans.
4. Be open and friendly. Talk to everyone.
5. You are not inventing the wheel. There are expats everywhere. Learn from them. If there is a way to do something, they have already figured it out.
6. Seek the experience of being alive…which is always changing.
7. Freedom and time are like a new sport and require training.
Coming up next:
What about my job, house and bills at home?
How do you live without a real job?
What about a visa and working?
What about friends and family?
What about security and responsibilities?
What about health insurance and the hospitals there?
The difference between living abroad and traveling.
Can’t wait to hear the next installment!
How does someone who has to live on a high protein low carb low fat diet make it in Italy? Due to health issues this is not a choice. I am 53 and my husband has retired at 45. We have a 10 and 11 year old at home. 2 Others are grown. I also have to see a Doctor on certain intervals. Can I ask the climate?
My husband has good health insurance and gets $30,000 a year.
Great questions, Pat!
Of course, you can do high protein, low carb which is basically meat and veggies. Food is locally grown and we are very seasonal with very little ethnic foods. Most cooking is done at home and we shop daily.
As for doctors, you can easily find an English language doctor and pay as you go, very nominally. Bring medicenes you will need for the length of your stay. You can buy them here too. Remember, without a visa , you will need to leave the country periodically. I keep an catastrophic USA health care plan, but would be very comfortable going to the hospital here. They are very modern and not crowded like people say.
Your kids can go to English language school at first (private). They are young enough that picking up Italian shouldn’t be to difficult. At our age, it gets more challenging.
As for climate: in Tuscany we have all four seasons similar to North or South Carolina. The north is mountainous, so more winter and Sicily is an island more similar to Florida. There is a big difference in lifestyle from North of Rome to South of Rome, so rent an apartment and try different areas. The seaside is quite lovely and there are many to choose from.
Climate politically, I think it is the same in every country. If you buy into gloom and doom, you can find it. On a daily basis, does it effect me or my family, no. We have elections and promises but we live a simple, wonderful life.
My biggest advice is come for 3 months and live like a local before you do anything and decide if this if for you. Do NOt try to recreate you life in the USA with TV, computers, media and busyness. Replace these things with appreciating the culture, art, history, meaningful reading and spending long summer days in nature and really enjoy time, freedom and adventure to explore and discover who you are and your children’s talents.
Hi Barbara,
I realize this is an old post, but I remember reading it last year because it was my intention then to move to Italy for retirement. I love how you have mapped things out and I know that must not have been easy not being Italian.
I am an Italo-American, born in the US but my parents have lived in Italy since the 1960′s, hence I went to high school in Milano. Then I moved to NY and lived there ever since….now I’m 58, my husband is 56 and we both worked civil service so we were able to take early retirement.
So here we are, living in Liguria, about two hrs away from Genova towards the French border. My parents live here still and are in their 80′s which is why we chose to live here but I understand this is one of the most expensive areas due to the tourism. Feeding my hungry American man here is breaking the bank, I have to make sure he has plenty of rice and pasta!
We did find a very reasonable rent, 450Euros/mo. it’s a small apt with a nice terrace overlooking the sea so we love it. We sold our house in NY for a nice profit so we’re not too strapped, but I have noticed, at least here, everything costs as much as it did in the US if not more. The good trade off is that we are both covered under the national healthcare since I am Italian and he is married to me. That in itself is saving us tons of money as HC in the US has gone thru the roof.
The best advice I got from your post was that you did not try to recreate your life, but invent a new one. I have been finding that very difficult. I am a creature of habit. I left behind my two adult daughters and three grandchildren! I can’t even tell you how I miss them…sigh.
But I knew I could not live only for them, just for the few hours a week I got to spend with them. Our jobs were killing us, physically and emotionally.
The one thing I would like to ask you is, how do you find Italians in general? I mean, they don’t seem to have much of a sense of humor and they are very closed….I have been told that Ligurians especially are like that. Also, I find that I am almost afraid to shop since so many places don’t have prices and I know that they are expected to haggle….I can’t do that yet. I find it embarrassing! But I don’t like being ripped off either!
Speaking of which, the rate of robbery here is unbelievable! Apartments, cars, pickpockets, you name it….seems to be a large number of these and oh they love to blame the “extra communitari” for that but I remember this being a problem going way back into the 1970′s when I was a teen and there were mostly just Italians here.
I guess to sum up, I’m still sort of floundering, tho it is getting better. We have only been here two months and I am fluent in Italian but my hubby is taking classes…..the bureaucracy is astonishing! Everything from his permesso di soggiorno, my carta di identita, driver’s license, opening a bank or post office acct…..every step is so painful in that it involves going back again and again for some damn paper or another…..can’t imagine what non Italians have to go thru. My husband will have to take a driver’s test again here as his US one is not recognized!
Well, thanks for allowing me to vent….feel free to respond …. feedback always welcome!
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Ciao Lildee,
First my apologies for not responding sooner as I am just now finding this post. I am sorry you are struggling in your transition. Focus on the good things about living in Italy, not the difficulties. Nowhere is perfect, but embrace the beauty, architecture, history and love of the Italian people. Reach out to neighbors and locals. The more open and friendly you are, the more friendly and open they will be. Make friends with a local and have them show you the ropes. Be grateful and embrace the people and the culture. You are very lucky to live amongst such wonderful people in paradise. Here are some ideas to ponder.
1. Take your new life as an adventure. Others would kill to have your opportunity. Become a regular. Get to know the locals. 2. 3 Find an expat group. There are lots of English speakers around 4. Learn to Skype with your family and do it daily. You can “see” your grandkids on a daily basis, and not feel isolated. 5. Be grateful for eating the highest quality foods. If you bought organic in the USA, you would pay much more. 6. Be grateful that we have petty theft rather than murders and rape. 7. Get a boat and really enjoy the seaside. What would an apt like that cost on Long Island ? 8. Become a tourist. Go and explore your area. Learn about Italy and all it has to offer. 9. Start a list of what you love about Italy. Post it on the fridge, read it everyday and add a few things. 10. Offer to trade ”language” with the locals. You have something special to offer, English as a mother tongue.
I find Italians very friendly and open. I love the people my little town and find them warm, caring and loving. I don’t haggle and don’t find it common for regular shop keepers. Haggle in the weekly market or tourist stuff like leather jackets or purses. Listen to other shoppers to see if they are haggling. I found if you complement them, you are likely to get a few extras for free.
I have been in Italy 6 years and have survival Italian and still not fluent. At 50, learning a language ,especially memory it challenging. Just accept it as it is…..a romantic language to be sipped, not gulped. Speak only Italian to your husband. It will be hard but if he is forced speak, it will go faster. Don’t become his crutch. Also, I find that I am almost afraid to shop since so many places don’t have prices. Not sure what your are referring too. Prices are set unless it is in the weekly market Here is a different view of a day in Italy: Today was “market day” , where the whole town comes out…. I went to the bank to get cash to pay the rent. Said hello to my favorite two most sexy, good looking, and friendliest Italian tellers…..bought some cheese from the cheese vendor. Then walked over to the fruit and vegetable vendors and bought such fabulous vegetables for a whopping 4 euros!
Walked past the group of elderly local men who gather at the intersection of the two squares to “solve the world’s problems”…they pause debating and smile at me and wish me a “bon giorno”….
I walk up the steep road that splits our town, to my landlady’s shop to pay the rent. She an her beautiful daughter greet me with a huge, friendly smiles and wish me a happy new year!… I walk back down to the car and stop to admire this FANTASTIC view down the steep road all the way past town below us to the snow capped mountains across the valley!….
I THANK GOD for this beautiful life and to admire this wonderful town and “community” that I live in….Life is good…you just have to PAUSE and SEE IT!…..
Lots more on my site http://www.LivingWithoutReservations.com
Wishing all The Best, Barbara
Please write more! Give us an update.
Are you living in Italy? Please go over the best ways to take the steps toward moving alone as a woman to Italy.
I am very interested in your story.
Thank you
Jeanne
Hi! My husband and I are living in Italy currently and since I am dual citizen (my dad was born here, and I was born in the US) I can reside here a long as I like without having to leave the country periodically. My husband has a permit to stay because he is married to me as long as we remain married.
We live in the region known as Liguria, near Genova, Savona, San Remo…it is one of the best climates. Very mild in the winter which is exactly what we wanted. No more dealing with snow and ice and freezing temps. If we want snow, we can get in the car and drive an hour north into the Alps and voila but this year I am avoiding it.
It has been a BIG adjustment though and if you do plan on moving, do yourself a favor and learn some of the language first. I am fluent but my husband knew zero, despite having taken some courses before we left. He is a very social person so it kills him to need me for everything…not to mention it drives me crazy too. Having said that, he know has picked up more in 4 mos here than in all those courses in NY, being immersed in it.
We found a very cute little apt with a sea view for about 500 bucks a month and our utilities are cheap too. Food is pricey but GOOD.
Another stumbling block for Ron has been that our driver’s licenses from the USA are not reconised here so if you plan to live here, you come with an international driver’s license (good for one year) but then have to take the test to get an Italian one. They do not give the test in English, only Italian, French and German…although these laws are forever changing.
Now having said all that, life here is definitely cheaper than owning a home in NY! Taxes alone in NY were killing us…we never could have retired early there…..the health care system here, despite what the American naysayers always spew about, has been very good to my aging parents and us too….my husband got all his meds for one month for under 20 bucks, which in the US was about the price of one copay! Also, we witnessed my 51 year old brother have a heart attack and he was treated quickly, efficiently and I have no complaints of the care that I saw.
If you have a specific question, feel free to email me.
Me, too! Wonderful thread!
“Right now, it is readily feasible to live abroad on about a $1,000 a month. I have been living it for 5 years.”
At 44 I decided to reinvent her life and jumped of the treadmill of the American Dream and travelled across country in an RV from PA to Alaska, sailed the Caribbean and spent the summer in Tuscany and is still going.
“Once you make the decision,” she says, “your view of the world changes. From then on you think, ‘I am moving. I am mobile and travel light. I need nothing. Everything is negotiable. I choose to spend my time differently. I choose to spend money differently. I choose to live my life differently.’
You choose to decide what is best for you, not what others think is best for you.”
Would you rather have a plane ticket or a mortgage?
Would you rather have freedom or a paycheck?
Would you rather have a backpack or walk-in closet?
Would you rather have a passport filled with stamps or a bank book filled with money?
Would you rather live your dream watch it on reality TV?
It really is about mindset. I wanted a different life, not a job, mortgage, car and committements in another country. If is very difficult to make these changes in the USA. In Italy, everything was different, so I didn’t feel deprived.
If I said no TV, dining out, driving, living on peanuts, and such, I would feel deprived back in Orlando. In Italy, like most of Europe, most are middle to lower class, so most people around you live the same way but they know how to “treat” themselves daily with a coffee at a cafe 1 euro or a gelato at 2 euro a day. I replaced things I gave up with art, music, learning and reveling in the ancient. It will take me the rest of my life to learn all there is here. My days are full of adventure and learning,,,,who cares about sit coms, maintaining a house, celebrity gossip, saving money I may never see or get to spend and fear monger newscast?
WHAT ABOUT MY JOB, HOUSE AND BILLS AT HOME?
I gave them up. Liquidated my possessions are rented it out to cover the costs. I would sell it if I could but Florida is a bit stuck at the moment and I have renters who pay for which I am soo grateful. I also stopped all reoccurring charges and now have 3 monthly bills. Cell phone ($40), storage unit ($68) and healthcare ($253).
If you don’t spend it , you don’t have to earn it. I went from bringing in about $6000 a month and spending about $6000 including all expenses to spending $1000 a month. Even if I paid my mortgage off, it would still cost me in taxes and insurance about $750 a month to live in my house, without any maintenance or repairs which is a totally wild card. Staying in my paid off home costs more than living in Italy.
Because the cost of living is so low in Italy, you can live frugally for about $1000. Earning a living is a different sorry. Salaries are low and unless you have a visa, you work illegally, which I don’t recommend. So, come to Italy with dollars, even though the exchange is not in our favor, and live like an Italian. If you are 2 people, your can still rent a room or an apt, depends on city vs countryside for way less than in the USA and not work. It would be very difficult to do this in Orlando, where I am from without felling deprived. Because I am replacing time , freedom and adventure, for the Illusion of security in a house, job and familiar surroundings, I feel alive, evolving and growing rather than bored, stuck in a dull rountine of repetition.
So how do I get money? Well, considering you only need $10-15,000 a year, it isn’t that tough. The key is to earn money in the USA and bring it to Italy. next post.
I’ll be 60 in August, filed for divorce and awaiting settlement and all the ugliness I know awaits me with my final decision. I plan to settle in Anastasia Island, St. Augistine, FL to be closer to my brother and his kids, my only family. I’ve always dreamed of travelling, and perhaps, settling in Italy or Greece. I was a widow when I married my second husband. My late husband had been in the Navy. He was in both countries and always had stories to tell of his experience in both countries. They were always, always, experiences embracing food, the people, and the beauty of where he was when he lived them. He described the streets, the sounds – a cacophony of life – and I would feel it; smell it; assume it. Once I re-establish my life after divorce, I believe Italy will be a place for me. It’s so wondrous to know I’ll be in such good company.
Kelly’s Question: I am following a similar transition path as you and I am curious if you ever see a person like the person who you used to be, say a stylish blond driving in her Lexus SUV with her reflecting Gucci glasses, and think you might like to be there again or are you so happy that you are okay with the world you left behind. Just curious…
Barbara’s Response:
I am so happy and find “wealth and riches” in non material things. I do think it is tough to get off the money wheel and remain living in the US.
Marketing is so strong that we really believe that happiness is in the next thing. In the US, we assign self worth to material things, your job and outward appearance. I look immediately beyond that and look at the person. If they are loving their life and work and the car is by-product of a joyful and abundant life, then PERFECT! For me, material possessions became a weight and never ending time/money pit.
I would not trade time, freedom and adventure for “stuff.” When I see a pretty car or jewelry, I can still admire it but there is no feeling of wanting to own it. I know that I would have to “trade” my freedom and time to earn the money to buy the “thing”, that I soon wouldn’t love as much and be on to the next thing. Where I live, the disparity between the haves and the have nots is very small. Everyone drives a Fred Flintstone car and business people in suits ride their bikes to work. Everything is old. I don’t feel like they have stuff and I don’t.
Replace what you are eliminating with a new activity or scenery in order not to feel lack or punishment.
If you didn’t have TV, at first it would feel very empty and boring at night, so replacing that with doing a puzzle, reading, music, painting or taking on line classes, working out or taking a walk outside after dinner.
Turn Down Time into Thinking and Gratitude Time!
Can you imagine getting up everyday and saying, “What do I want to do today rather than rushing through an overbooked day and chipping away at a never ending errand list which is only to maintain your stuff? Without possession, there is nothing to take care of. Now I make sure I am outside for the sunset, I love the birds chirping and having my morning coffee on the terrace.
Because of the language barrier, I must intentionally choose and find music, something to read and something to learn about. I am not bombarded and moving through life on autopilot. When you do your own thinking, you see the world differently.
Time and freedom are like a muscle that takes time and training to grow!
I do think you can live anywhere and live like that. We live on my husbands retirement now. We have never wanted “things”. It is just a change of attitude.
My husband pointed out that there are natural disasters everywhere and people aren’t prepared for them because they are either living above their means with “toys” or have checked out of the world. Yes some people are just in 3rd world or live in areas that need help. That isn’t their fault. You can’t give up time and freedom at the expense of not being prepared.
We have lots of time and freedom now. We chose what we want to do and when. Our life is neither fast paced or full of the world. I think YOU have to decide how you are going to live and not let society tell you how or who you have to be. We pay only $500 rent a month and that includes water. If a family of 4 can live on $30,000 and be happy, we have done it. It is sad that in America even kids are picking up that you are poor if you don’t own a house. You just have to teach your kids differently. A house doesn’t make home a home. And it isn’t freedom. IMO
Barbara,
So enjoyed reading your experience of living in Italy. I admire you for having the courage and sense of adventure to make the move on your own. Would love to hear more from you. You are an incredible woman!
So Where Do You live and How Do You Make Money?
I live in Italy for 8 months a year and the other 4 months I come back to the USA and work at a high season , high tourist resort job. Since the cost of living is so low in Italy, even with the exchange rate, it is possible to rent something for $600-$1000 a month furnished including utilities.
You can rent a fully furnished apartment or room with utilities and internet for less than taxes and insurance on my home in Florida…which I liquidated and rent out to cover the mortgage. Rent your home furnished if you can. You will get pennies for furniture and housewares anyway and it will save you a lot of hassle. Don’t pay to store furniture. It takes up a lot of space and you may never use it again. Choose your renters carefully or hire an agency. They usually take the first month for finding a tenant and 10% for collecting the rent. You will be surprised at who is renting these days.
Then, in the winter time, I return to the USA and work in a high season , high tourist job where I am tipped. This way, I am living where the temperature is the best, the town is hopping and I am sure to get a job and tourists are abound with money to spend. In winter, high tourist areas are Aspen, Key West or Palm Springs/Phx for example. If you want to live in the Carribean or Mexico, your off season would be summer, so your high season would be Alaska, Hilton Head, Nantucket, Cape Cod or expensive resort town.
Take any job where you are tipped, so wait tables, bar tend, Hotel nanny, valet or bell hop, concierge, beer babe on the golf course. Choose your place based solely on how much money you can make, so you don’t have to work for the rest of the year.
Rent a room from a local in their home ( I have done well with Craigslist…you will be surprised who is renting out rooms to supplement their mortgages) – bring nothing but clothing and your car, if you kept it or take the bus. So the key is to work as many hours as possible while keeping your cost of living to as low as possible.
Before or after my “winter job”, I go see my family and really get to spend time together- like several weeks. My Mom loves when I come, we get her whole ” Honey do list” for the year done in just a few weeks.” When you do extended visits with friends or family, offer your time and talents. You are home and can wait for a repair man for roof or A/C inspections. Offer to take the car for service and sit and wait, or take the dog to the groomers. I love to garden and paint, so I am happy to jump on those jobs. I call it visiting without mooching.
You thoughts and questions are welcome!
How do I go to explore a new place for a month if I don’t have that much vacation time?
Ask for an unpaid leave of absence. You will be surprised how many companies would love to have you off the payroll for a few weeks. Before you ask, make sure you can show your boss how she will cope with your work load when you are gone. Try not to offer to “work remotely” as it will spoil your internal clock resetting. If you were sick or had to take time away to care for a family member, you would like a way to make it work. Do it for yourself now, while you are healthy. Get creative. Think outside the box.
What if I don’t have enough money to go on vacation for a month?
You are not “going on vacation.” You are going to experience another place as a local. You will know in advance how much money you will need, so stick to your budget. Flight, room, groceries and pocket money. Use frequent flyer miles or scan the web for deal. I fly only major city to major city and then us a local, cheap fly to get to the big outbound city. You will live in someone’s home or a fully furnished apt and cook your own meals. Your time will be spent walk the city streets or sitting on bench and observing. Your days will be filled with exploring your new town and letting it re-set your body clock back to your natural rhythm. People often ask, “What do you do all day?” because we are so over stimulated that we forget that we are naturally creative. Leave some room for serendipity !
Consider renting out your place for the month while you are gone. Ask all your friends if they know someone who would like your place for a little holiday. There are several home exchange sites on the internet. 99% of the world is filled with wonderful people, just like you. Only the freaks make the news. Nice people doing loving things don’t sell. It’s just stuff! No one is going to take your high school pom poms! haha.
Money will always be an issue until you learn to use it differently. If you can’t make it from week to week or have debt, your are living above your means. Housing is the biggest money eater that is disguised as a necessity and first and easiest thing to change. Either get into something cheaper, like a 1 or 2 bedroom condo with little or no maintenance and share the pool and tennis courts or start to share the house you are in. If you are a single mom, get a single mom roommate and start splitting expenses and child care needs. Rent out your spare rooms and start collecting $400-$1000 a month depending where you live. Include utilities so you don’t stuck in picking apart the bills. You are already paying anyway. Set house rules so every one knows the drill and pick someone like yourself. You many find a wonderful new friend and make lots of “instant” money.
What about friends & family and security & responsibilities?
You are just moving, not leaving the planet. With the Internet, Skype and Facebook, it’s easy to keep in touch with friends and family. Since I didn’t live in the same town as my daughter or my family, visiting them was always a plane ride away. Now, when I return each winter to work, I get to spend more time with my family than I did when I had a regular job and lived in Florida.
If your friends and family really object, remember each person has their own agenda and perhaps, your happiness is not tops on their list. Some will be afraid for your safety, but don’t let others fears become your fears. Use the same precautions you would living anywhere in the USA, especially as a single woman.
As for security, I believe is it a myth. No matter how much planning, how much insurance or how much or lack of money you have, life still happens. Life is unpredictable. People change, jobs come and go, the stock market can crash and people die. One of my favorite quotes is from Steve Jobs of Apple, “Remembering you are going to die helps you avoid the trap that you have something to lose.”
After I lost my fiancé, I felt like I had nothing to loose. My wall of resistance was like a crack in the sidewalk. If you believe that the life you have right now is as good as it is going to get, then your resistance to change is different. Once the pendulum swings and what once want comfy like an old shoe, now looks worn out and dumpy, then your resistance level changes. Always in life, we need consistency and inconsistency to be happy. Too much routine becomes boring and too much in consistency becomes frightening. A little of both is just right.
As for responsibilities, you are responsible for yourself first, and then friends and family second to a point. Your job as a parent is raise independent productive members of society. Taking it past this teaches them that they can’t survive without you and that in some way they are handicap. If you have chosen to help out in a pinch that is one thing, but each person must stand on their own and live with their means. Some who have been given so much destroy it and others who have been given nothing thrive. Often, they are siblings; so parenting had nothing to do with it. If you have small children, of course you can take them with you and homeschool, I met many doing that while I liked on the sailboat. With the Internet it is quite easy and lots of on-line programs to help.
Wither you take action or not, choices will still be made and life will march on. There will never a perfect time and you will probably never think you have enough money, but there are many already many people living extraordinary lives abroad and each one of them just too the leap of faith and went. My motto, Keep it light and keep moving. Playing it safe is a dangerous game.
“Your job as a parent is raise independent productive members of society. Taking it past this teaches them that they can’t survive without you and that in some way they are handicap.”
THANK YOU for this piece especially. Ever since I told my daughters that we are retiring to Italy, my youngest, who is 33 and mom of a 13 yr old, has been very angry with me about it. We are not particularly close her and I. In fact, I’m closer with my older daughter but Laura has always been “needier” of my attention. She feels as though I’m “abandoning” her and my teen granddaughter who, at this point, could not possibly care less about grandma anyway!
I had made up my mind to live my life according to my choice anyway, but this attitude of hers was making me feel guilty. I will no longer allow that feeling to rule me. Laura has a good job, and is living HER life according to her own choosing. Time for me to live mine!
Mille grazie!
As an afterthought, I will be having enough of a time helping my very American husband get used to life in Italia. When we had to empty our home here in NY to sell it, I thought he was going to have a stroke getting rid of his “stuff”…. while I felt it as liberating, he felt it as losing his life. Mayhaps that’s a man thing. And he is already talking about the fancy motorcycle he wants in Italy…where he will not be working and we will have to be very frugal. So that is going to be my cross there, and I hope he is ready to experience life without so much stuff.
Any questions or thoughts about living abroad? I’d love to hear from you!
This is such a great and interesting blog Barbara. ENough so that it is the first time I wish to post a comment on this site. I have been reinventing my life many times now at 67. I’ve lived in Costa Rica every 6 months for the last 11 years and Canada the other 6 months. Guess which seasons? Everyone envies my lifestyle and they all think I must be rich to do this. Wrong. I’ve learned to live with what I want. Living in Costa Rica has been cheaper (including airfare to get there) than continue to live in Canada in the winter. I still own both homes yes, but I rent the one in Canada in winter which pays all expenses. I feel pretty good about it all. NOw however I wish to explore other countries and feel a little scared on my own (recent split up with partner) to trek Europe. I want to find a warm place to go for winter and I would love to go back to Italy and live there for 3 months but a bit cold…I’d love to go sculpting there (I’m a stone carver) not sure how this would go.
I’m also considering Middle East somewhere. I just want to confirm all yo’ve said about living abroad, experiencing the poeple and life…Every year when I return from Costa RIca, it is ALWAYS a huge shock to be bombarded commercially with flyers, sales, stores, huge grocery choices , engineered veggies that always look perfect…huge shock …and it makes me realize how lucky I am to know the difference. ON the other hand all that commercialism is what gives people jobs..creating the marketing, implementing it, buying ti serving it….So it’s a dilemma… I just want to thank you for posting all those comments it sure encourages me to keep reinventing one more time….and so happy to know that others are pushing that way too even at my age!
In truth, I find the way women dress in Italy less appealing than the way women dress in France, at least in the cities. In general, though, I like visiting Italy more than France–just the overall appeal, no offense to France.
Overall, I feel most European women dress better and more aesthetically appealing in public. Personally, I’ve never seen flip flops and pajama bottoms at the market like one does here in the States…on women OR men.
To Jaycee and Colette,
You are so right about going out in “shower shoes” and jogging suits. I was scolded for “attempting” to go out looking to casual. Europeans in general take great pride in the way they look. Men more so than women! We change our clothes even to run out for something quick. In small town living, you are bound to run into someone you know and your appearance is a reflection on not just you, but your family too. We may only have a few items, but they are in season, always pressed and when it doubt, add a scarf!
To Colette,
You are so brave for taking on a new country at 67! Just goes to show us that age is just a number. You may want to look on line at sculpting schools. They usually include room and board and that way you would be doing something you love and have built in companions with a common interest.
Would you consider Greece? Some of the islands would be more mild. Also, look at Malta. It’s an English language island south of Sicily. The temps are warm and its in the Med. I looked at rooms there and found them very reasonable.
I have read so much about living in Central America, especially now about Panama. Belize and Costa Rica have been popular for sometime with the beautiful beaches, blue water and lush green forests
.
If anyone is thinking island, American’s can live and work in St. Thomas, St. John, St. Croix, US Guam, Puerto Rico and US Samoa (near Bora Bora !!) without any special papers. I don’t know about the housing market there, but if you feel better knowing you can work, you may look there.
Remember, get on line or go for a month or so and live like a local. Stay out of hotels and tourist spots. Think outside the box.
Great, great post. I’ve lived in Italy for a year in my twenties and I confirm every word you write! Glad to read that things are still the same in bella Italia.
Would love to see pics of Italian women, how they dress now. We wore tight jeans with pumps/flats and oversized tops back then, too.
the first rule of thumb for being fashionable, to me at any rate, is to have a nice smile (meaning teeth that are straight), no smoking and a smile that lights up a room. Clothes are the embellishments. As I traveled throughout Europe, especially England, it struck me that way too many people have not had any kind of orthodonic work done to their teeth, and many times the teeth were yellow. Perhaps that’s more a trait of an older generation that suffered more severe financial hardships. My questioning mind wants to know if there are no orthodontists in England – the English seem to have the worst teeth of anyone I have ever some across. I don’t mean to sound rude, and please forgive me for sounding such, but I’m curious if it’s biological trait, something in the water, a lack of certain nutritional means or some other factor. there is a huge crowding of teeth in one’s mouth (think of Jamie Pugh, the operatic singer). That being said, I did find that the young women in Germany and Spain dressed casually and still looked chic – of course they were toned, young and in good shape. There are many people in Germany who are devoted to walking and I’m sure that’s what helps to keep them in good shape. That, and a refrigerator the size of a small furnace – not much room for a fully stocked refrigerator, like here in the U.S. And I think food is more geared toward fresh meats, fruits and vegetables in European homes. Not so much the pre-packaged “dinners” that Weight Watchers promotes. European diets are better than ours, it’s just a shame that their access to dental ortho isn’t as widespread or as seemingly important or financially feasible as it is here.
How many people realistically can afford an orthodontist, even in the US? Not many by the look of many people I see where I live (Miami, FL). Teeth that are clean, as white as they can get and a fresh breath are very important…straight teeth…not so much. Unless the teeth are so crowded that it affects the bite or the gums. I have also seen people with “perfect” teeth and no sense of style…..
I have no idea what is the problem in the UK, but it’s nothing that cannot be helped with frequent dentists visits. Maybe it’s lack of enough dentists? or lack of education when it comes to dental health? My daughter has lived in London for 9 years, has an excellent British dentist and her friends all seem to have beautiful teeth. So it’s not everyone in the UK with this problem. Or maybe it’s getting better…..
Small refrigerators are something I absolutely agree with. Here in the States they are getting bigger and bigger, we eat too many “prepared” foods, not enough fruits and veggies……never mind “fast food”!
I guess each country has something they need to work on to lead healthier, happier lives.
Michigan, South Carolina, North Carolina, Minnesota, Missouri and Utah here and still see the same as you. Most dental plans do not cover braces. By the way, you reading my mind, sunsetwriter? lol
Orthodontics are very expensive. Crowded teeth is here in the US also. I don’t know if people on here are just making money and a lot more then most but $5000 is a lot. Also if I am judged by my clothing and people are going to be telling me what to wear and how my teeth should be then I know that is not where I want to be. I won’t wear tight jeans and dress for the world. I don’t now and I won’t at anytime. Yellow teeth are from all terrible food we consume. Look at the children in Africa and how white their teeth are. My mouth is so small I cannot put my mouth over the nose and mouth of a baby to do CPR. I just know that I care more about the person not their smile, or how they dress. I think it is rude to comment on someone clothing. This isn’t freedom to me. I like a running suit and tennis shoes. If I am going to go exercise and need to run to the store. I will do them all at once. We already live like Italy here. NO TV, I have no idea what is going on in the world majorly. We read, play games and go see things. Commericalism only affects you if you let it into your life and that can happen anywhere. Look at people pulling you over for not being dressed like they think you should. Thank you but I will be me, not anyone else.
I wear dentures after my teeth and jaw bones was ruined by abuse.
Oh and my three children are seeing an orthodontist. But we can’t get me medical things I need and that too. So maybe they people could afford only for their children and prefer to be home raising their children then having two incomes. I figure it isn’t my job to judge choices since I don’t know their life.
Okay…I can deal with the teeth, the clothing and even a tiny refrigerator, but I will never get over the lack of toilet seat covers. What is up with that? Wherever we went in Italy there was a severe lack of toilet seat covers. My husband didn’t mind as much as I did, but really???
If someone can explain this, I would really appreciate it. Maybe it would be a great business to get into!