It’s been a spring of record warmth, with an all time high number of maximum temperature records broken across the U.S. Away to the back of the closet go the boring long sleeves, and out come the cooler–and barer–styles. I can just not tolerate a sweater for one minute longer, which brings me to the challenge: is it really acceptable for a fifty something woman to walk around in public with bare arms?
Each spring, the propriety deeply instilled in me by watching my mom’s dress habits bubbles up. When I was a girl in the 1960s, my mom was certainly comfortable around the house in shorts (knee length, of course) and sleeveless blouses or knit tops. When it was time to leave the house on an errand, even a quick grocery store run, she changed her clothes to sleeves and skirts. Bare arms and legs seemed to be right up there, in her unwritten rule book, with pierced ears: something only “fast women” dared. Now in her 80s, I don’t think I’ve ever seen her in shorts and bare arms outside of the house, a campground, or the beach. Since I’m at “midlife,” I find those sneaky standards infiltrating my thinking, a little scolding voice chiding me that bare arms are not appropriate at my age.
I’m not talking “lunch lady” arms, either. (Though even writing that makes me cringe, with it’s inherent sexism. Can anyone truly believe that a) women are supposed to always look lovely–or cover up–so we don’t offend the men? OR b) that women’s bodies–and their state of fitness– are even fair game for evaluation by others? Witness all the outrage over Ashley Judd’s response to media comments about her appearance.) My arms are quite buff and trim, thanks to my daily hour of yoga. Why not?
This is one of those standards that has been burned into my brain without me ever really understanding why. So I looked it up. And discovered that it’s really a matter of how much skin is exposed that makes bare arms inappropriate for church, job interviews, etc. We’re back to the equivalent of bare arms = pierced ears = fast woman? Really?!!? That makes it easy to dismiss.
Who says I can’t bare my arms? Our lovely First Lady Michelle Obama has made a point of bucking this standard, and I’m stepping up to join her. I’m going to be cooler, show off the “guns” that are the result of endless down dogs and chaturangas, and flaunt an outdated custom. My bare arms say nothing about my age, my character, my sex life. All they say is that it’s getting hot. AND I’m doing what works for me.
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I do not bare my arms and haven’t done so since I was 45! Not because it is unacceptable, or because of men! I do it for myself. I feel better with sleeves to cover my fat upper arms. There is no question in my mind whether you should or shouldn’t after 50! It’s up to each person individually and showing your best assests while covering up what’s not your best. Being presentable and confident in public is what matters, not what other people think!
Absolutely, we should be free to “bare or not bare,” as we choose — in good taste, course! I’m in the process of losing excess ballast, and toning myself up for both health and beauty purposes! So, the idea of going to my upcoming 40th high school reunion in a chic sleeveless cocktail dress is one of my big motivators. In the meantime, thank goodness for my lovely array of colorful shawls.
It’s got nothing to do about what anyone thinks, especially men. PLEASE — we are powerful, wise, older women living in 2012!
Why stop at the arms? My mother in law (91) won’t leave the house unless she is in a turtleneck. Arms and neck must be covered. My mom (83) wears short sleeves, no turtleneck. It is what makes us comfortable that is important. I don’t think either of them do anything based on what makes a man feel comfortable. Dress to impress – yourself. If it fits, looks and feels good, any age is a time to wear what you love!
I don’t go sleeveless because I have very fair skin, and it’s just one more part to burn. I also don’t wear shorts much, because me legs are blindingly white, and it is such a hassle and mess to add color to them. I so envy women who can achieve that lovely toast color. sigh. We all have our challenges. I work at Talbots, a store known for catering to women our age. At least once per shift I have a woman ask me “why are so many of your dresses sleeveless, don’t the people that choose the clothes know women our age don’t go sleeveless!” And sure enough, there are racks of unsold sleeveless dresses. The reasoning is that our clients will buy a sweater or jacket to go with the dress and so we will sell more units. That doesn’t seem to be happening, though. The dresses just aren’t selling. I say wear whatever makes you feel confident and beautiful.
Talbot’s is a great store for us boomers – and I snap up items with those wonderful elbow length sleeves, shorter than the 3/4 length sleeve, which I also love. Kind of nice to know those sleeveless are ending up unsold. Thought it was just me…
I agree with Boombox…I love Talbots but please…limit the sleeveless items and give us more 3/4 sleeve items to choose from. I dont always want to wear a sweater over a dress or shirt. Glad to hear they dont sell too…maybe they will get the message at Talbots…who are you catering to????
Depends on where you live.
I was MUCH more self-conscious about parts of my body which “looked old” when living in a climate with actual seasons.
Now that I have spent the last 7 years in Southern California, I realize (much to my own surprise) that I have completely gotten over that. SO WHAT if my legs never tan? SO WHAT if I have “weird knees”? SO WHAT if my good arm is toned and tan and the disabled one will always be misshapen and underdeveloped? EVERYBODY wears tanks and shorts (or sundresses) year ’round!
What surprised me the most: NOT everyone is young and gorgeous in SoCal; I see people on he street not only every day but EVERY BLOCK who even make ME look good
Lighten up, ladies! Unless you work in fitness or fashion, NOBODY is paying attention to your upper arms except YOU.
Unselfconsciously — Spike
Spike, you are awesome! Love your perspective, thanks for sharing.
Agreed. I never thought I was vain until I had a mastectomy at age 39. I was devastated and told the doc I wanted to wake up with implants. Now at age 60, I am lopsided and wondering if I was just avoiding the inevitable. You get what you get and you don’t get upset (a qupte from Pinkalicious but a good attitude for adults, too). Easier said than done, but a worthy goal.