| Grey hair | Hot Conversation |
To dye or not to dye, is that the question?
What is this boldness to wish to be oneself?
What is the pride hidden in beautiful hair?
I do not know yet, but with your contributions to this enigma, I may come to a conclusion.
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Perhaps you will read the story I posted on sexy gray hair. It won’t make you decide anything, but it’s food for thought. You can find it on my website “Jacqui Brown–The Book I’m Writing On Line”. Here’s the link:
http://jbwritergirl.wordpress.com/2010/02/04/sexy-grey-hair/
Dear JBwritergirl,
Dear JBWritergirl,
I love your link, read it, and will check up on you regularly.
From your bio I notice that another challenge added to to your list is out of the question right now. jeep as you are.
However, the question of whether to dye or not to dye seems to linger in the back of your mind, as it does in mine.
Let us see how other women are resolving this.
Until soon
Greta
That is such a great question. I would love to let mine go completely natural. I started dying when I had my third child at 36 and was at the store and someone said “Oh, what a cute little grandchild”. So the very next thing that went into my cart was my first ever bottle of hair dye. I kept it as natural to my real color. Interestingly, my real color now is platinum on top and salt an pepper on the bottom. Not very flattering. I have friend’s who insist on keeping thier grey, no matter what. I respect that but have to say, they look younger when it’s not. So, I’ll keep dying my hair intil I can 1. no longer do it myself or 2. can nolonger afford it as it has become a choice between healthcare or dye. Hmmmmm. It makes me feel better.
Dear MoonGoddess,
That “grandmother” issue you mention is a hard nut to crack when you are so young. I understand your response: to dye your hair instantly.
On the other hand, you feel that you miss out on the chance of seeing yourself develop. Did this innocuous commentary undermine you, to the point of frightening you away from a very intimate experience, to love your head of hair as it develops?
Or is your look really better with a solid color on top, as you seem to indicate with ‘platinum on top and salt and pepper n the bottom? I secretly would lve to see that combo on you, even if i too believe that some women are better off with new coloration, depending on their original color of hair, and their marks of ageing.
Hmmmmm, what makes you really feel better? Is it the thought of taking action until healthcare forces you to give up your struggle? At what age would that be? When nothing matters anymore anyway…? Does that age ever come about? Do you feel better to face the issue and do battle?
Or do you feel relieved to have made up your mind so that now you can put it aside until the time that you are any wiser?
I hope you will follow this thread.
Until soon,
Greta
Many questions, too many maybe, that need to be resolved as you go along.
Maybe with the help of friends here, we can resolve it together, and make it easier for all of us.
Until soon
Greta
My gray hair came in around my face and real frizzy. It looked awful. So I chose to dye it.
What’s up with that?….I have the same issue…I DO NOT LIKE IT….so like you I dye it and after I do it myself I feel so much better!
that’s right!!!!!
Dear 2melifeisgood
From your bio you seem to be very happy mothering. That ‘grandma’ stigma is thrown out the door as soon as you are yourself again: with a beautiful bouncy new head of hair. Your great love of mothering should not be mistaken for a ‘dowdy’ coming to grips with love.
By the way, could love have an element of dowdiness as one ages?
Until soon
Greta
Dear Dynamomma,
Did the frizziness disappear with dyeing?
Not all gray hair is the same quality.
How long have you been dyeing your hair?
Keep me up-to-date.
Until soon
Greta
Yes, the frizziness did seemingly disappear. And yes, the gray is harder to color. I’ve been coloring my hair for about 3-4 years. I’ve had it done before but hair dressers always think they know better about the right color and it either get too dark or too brassy redish.
Dear Dynamomma,
Hairdressers use different dyes and know what interaction of products are harmful I assume. However I often wonder how long they studied their trade, if the whole beauty schooling, comprising hair, make-up, nails, massage etc only takes six months in order to obtain a degree! What do they know more about than the big companies’ at home dye products such as L’Oréal.
We are dealing with the unknown when dyeing our hair or having our hair dyed.I heard many rumors. However, touch and go, should we dye or shouldn’t we, keeps us on edge, on our toes.
Is that how you feel as well?
Until then
Greta
I have a head of silver/pepper…love it, wouldn’t dye it for the world. Just the other night, I was walking around my neighborhood and a young man came running out of store after me. He was a hairdresser, opening a new salon with a friend and he went on and on about how much he loved my hair and how he would never be able to reproduce anything like it in his shop.
He asked me if I’d consider coming to his new salon and he’d cut my hair for free ( I said I’d be more than happy to pay) I asked if he was going to try and talk me into dying it if I did…he said, never,it was too beautiful to mess with!
Needless to say, I think I may have found a new hair stylist!
By the way, when people compliment be about my hair, it’s usually men in their 20′s…go figure!
Dear Tamara,
You bio is affirmative in the sense of no nonsense, and in agreement with your stand on gray hair.
There are no in betweens seemingly for you: you know what you want, and in acceptance you are open for what is to come. What was ‘to come’ was that special hairdresser!
I will bombard you just as he did:
Hairdressers who say they love your hair as is seem to really mean what they say: do not touch your color.
What is the secret they harbor? Self interest? Harboring a professional secret about dyeing practices/ or products? A despise of their field and letting off steam in admiring the real thing? Envisioning ‘a new creation ‘on top of your head as you and s/he develop?
My dear, I would be very obliged with your answer, because if this happened to you and to me, it has happenend to others as well.
By the way: younger men admire gray, and the unique features without disguise underneath. What is it they really admire and want to share?
What about those men our age?
Until soon
Greta
I guess I just don’t have the patience or the time to deal with the upkeep that would enable me to go back to the days when I had shiny, dark hair! I happen to be lucky, my silver locks are a nice match with my olive complexion. I certainly understand, however, how gray hair may not work for everyone.
That said, I think if you choose to go gray you need to make sure you have a great haircut to enhance it.
Absolutely correct with the haircut to enhance it recommendation. Think along the lines of “black dresses being flattering and slimming”–NOT TRUE if it isn’t cut properly, in fact that would be true of any cut–be it for hair or clothes. Working in a plus size ladies clothing store, I saw an awful lot of ugly clothes on truly beautiful women. Go for the haircut, grey can be quite eye-catching.
lol,
charlotte
Dear survivingedge,
I read that you love a good appearance, great tailoring and being well groomed, and am so glad that you shared these professional insights.
Please share here what is the best eye catching haircut you saw. It would be stimulating.
Until then
Greta
Dear Tamara,
My hair is shoulder length, with barely a cut as the hair streams down and the streaks of shades light and dark contrast with the platinum in front. At the airport, the officer searching the bags told me that she sat behind me, looking with wonder and admiration my hair, and wondered if they were dyed or natural.
In Europe, where I am from, grey hair is only for frumpy old ladies with manly haircuts. The liberated American woman sets the trend with beautiful cuts, natural and healthy hair, and pride in appearance. That is why we are tackling this issue: shall we, or shan’t we affirm the love we feel for ourselves, whether dyed or natural?
You must look great: olive and silver! Let ‘s see another picture from close up!
Until then
Greta
I know, I really need to upload a much nicer photo! Will work on that later this week. I used to wear my hair in a layered bob, no bangs. I really liked it, but grew bored with it. Trying to grow it my shoulders, with long layers worked in. I now wear longish bangs that I can sweep to the side if I choose.
Mmmmm, Awaiting the result on this site, dear Tamara
Until then
Greta
I’m with you, Tamara. My hair is salt and pepper and I wouldn’t dye it at all. I feel I earned the grey hair–and I actually like how it looks.
Will you look and feel younger with new dye in your hair? That could be the question.
Of course you want, not wish, to be yourself and oneself at that.
You never know when beautiful hair will be an asset. Consider it an humble duty, complimenting/reflecting your beautiful soul.
Dear Survivingedge,
CAN we look younger? Do we need to look younger? How can we hide our age? What for? If younger men are perplexed by our beauty, what more compliment are we seeking?
Looking at the muslim women hiding behind the veils and hairpieces and scarves and god forbid burkas, I understood that our hair is really our pride, and I bemoan denial.
Our hair is one of our greatest assets, and the soul of our womenhood. Why hide the truth? A bad hairday really makes us feel worn out. Beautiful hair is a reflection of our soul, the very word you brought up that answers all our questions. Is that the feeling you meant to express?
Thank you
Until soon
Greta
I’m just making the transition from dyed to grey and I’ve found it quite liberating. I determined my options (a. shave my head or b. find a talented hairdresser) and proceeded to poll every grey-haired woman I ran into. I asked each of them how they transitioned and received some wonderful advice. My dyed medium brown hair has now been professionally highlighted with grey…and it actually makes me look younger….or perhaps that’s the stylish and hip new haircut. I guess that grey hair dye is a recent phenomena; not used by many hairdressers. In my case, it looks bold and beautiful.
One of the catalyst’s to my new “do” is a recent tobacco lawsuit being settled. Every woman who dyed her hair was removed from the settlement as there is substantial evidence that the hair dye used in this country, filled with petrochemicals, is linked to bladder cancer. The more I researched, the less I wanted to dye my hair!
Dear Aliboyd,
You get right to the point. The catalyst for not deying one’s hair should indeed be the petrochemicals causing hairloss, especially in black dyes.
Another catalyst for being natural or opting for a lighter coloration than the original color when young is that when the facial features get marked by ageing, black or red dyes may look unnatural and very harsh.
I am glad you look as glamorous and bold as you sound. The liberation is refreshing for us all.
Thanks for posting and until soon, with reaction from your friends maybe?
Greta
Hi Greta,
About a year ago, I decided it was time to start letting some of the silver streaks in my hair show. My hairdresser has found a beautiful way to keep it looking mostly blonde but also to let the grey show through, especially around the front near where I part it. I love it! It makes me feel as if I’m not trying to hide my age, and that I’m taking good care of myself at the same time.
I agree with the other posters who say that a good cut is critical. All the dye in the world won’t make up for a bad cut.
Good luck with your decision. I’m very happy with mine.
Dear Seawriter,
I take note: you found the perfect solution.
Thanks
Greta
Hope I am not going off topic but it is hair related. I recently changed hairdressers and she has an assistant who washes my hairprior to being cut and styled by the hairdresser . I want to be fair to the person who washes my hair so I am conflicted as how to tip. Do i tip both or just tip the hairdresser and hope she takes care of her asistant.
Dear Rosiema,
Both need the tip, I assume. If the hairdresser is the owner of the salon and distributes collected tips at the end of the day, including her own, the issue is resolved. If they are independent contractors, everyone needs a tip. If they are all employees, all need a tip.
Best is to inquire about the policy of your salon regarding tips.
I have been coloring my hair for years, going for a touch up tonight and I cannot wait. My natural color I am sure is WAYYYYYYYYY more gray than I would like but I am not ready to find that out just yet. This makes me feel good so I do it. No harm no foul
Dear Mary57,
Your sunny environment in Florida and active lifestyle might influence your decision to look young and be part of the locale ‘s spirit in order to belong. I am glad you have the energies to be so devoted. In case it gets to you in the long run, check out the other members comments. I saw the smartest, well dressed, dignified, most striking modern women on 5th Ave in NY with a grey bob.
Change is in the air, especially if we are self aware of our striking beauty and enriched personality. Play with the thought and enjoy the other look as long as it suits you.
Greta
The thing about dyeing your hair is, if you do dye it, you have to stay on top of it all the time. Nothing more pitiful than a woman with 1/2″ gray roots. Very sad looking: she doesn’t like who she is, and she can’t keep up wth the coverup either!
My advice: Get a sharp, young-looking haircut (and keep it up), wear good makeup (and lipstick – always!), get some snappy earrings or sunglasses, and leave your dang hair color alone! And definitely revise your wardrobe and makeup palette so you look good with your new coloration…
M. McClure
I quit coloring my hair shortly after I turned fifty. It was too hard to keep up with the roots showing grey under my dark brown hair. I had my hair cut shorter, and then had highlights put in (suggestion of the hairdresser). It took about 18 months to grow the color completely out. I stay fit, keep a current hair cut and have a young attitude. After growing out my grey, I have had many many compliments on my hair. I receive compliments from both men and women, young and old. I’ve been approached in stores by men who compliment my hair color. It is very flattering! I have never regretted the decision to stop coloring fully supported by my husband. I am now 58.
Dera Nellie,
What a wonderful testimonial. I think this issue deserves a campaign: ‘the new look of sex: grey, trim, fit, young and unbeatable’. Let’s go 50+’
Greta
Precisely! Ditto! I’m 60! Go, Silver Foxes!
M
Dear Mooshcat,
You got it. A snappy, modern 50+ Lolita. We will follow suit.
Greta