Nephew and his wife have been married for four years now. No kids and they have been having problems that are clearly visible to us. We have basically raised him and he is like a son to us.
Two weeks ago he phoned to give us the heads up that he has separated for a time from his wife to try to figure things out and decide if he wants to get a divorce. He did not disparage her in any way and just said that they could not seem to get along and they were fighting all the time and that was not what he wanted in a marriage. I think that emotionally he is gone from the marriage already. There is no other woman involved, he is just so dreadfully unhappy.
To be honest, having seen the kind of stress in their marriage even when they are trying to hide it from us, this was a relief.
Now I get an email from her asking me to intercede and then she proceeds to tell me all the things he has done wrong and never once does she, in this very long missive, admit that she also might be at fault. From what we have seen it is some of her and some of him and some of life in general. She also asks me not to tell him that she emailed me as he might think it was underhanded of her.
Oh boy! I am responding briefly that I will not get involved, that they are two adutls and they will have to work this out or not but I will not be the go-between. I will not tell him that she emailed me as how would that help the situation besides making him angry that she is involving us.
I guess what I do not understand is that, when they are both young and able to live alone and they have been steadily on a downward spiral for at least two years, why would she want to continue with this. She is not a religious person at all. So why live like that when you could part amicably and go on with your life?