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When the wife is older than the husband Most Liked

How does it affect you self esteem when you are 6 years older than your husband?  The age difference never mattered to me until now.  I am 58 and my husband is 51 years old.  I suddenly feel very vulnerable.  I look in the mirror and see the age difference and don’t appreciate it one bit.  I now wish I had married an older man, so that I would be the young one.  I do everthing I can to stay healthy, and vibrant.  I eat right, exercise, wear makeup to flatter and dress to flatter my best assets, but I feel like it’s a losing battle.  If I feel this way now, how will I feel when I am 68 and he is 61 and so on?  Is anyone else dealing with this situation?

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Posted in family & relationships, love & sex.

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5 Responses

  1. Barbara Elaine Singer- "Life Reinventor Coach" Barbara Elaine Singer- "Life Reinventor Coach" says

    Dear 51,

    Age is a number and nothing more. Healthy and vibrant have everything to do with what is going on, on the inside, not on the outside. There are lots of people who are young and act old.  You are focusing on the physical things about yourself.  How about the wisdom and life lessons you have learned. You are bringing more to your relationship than a body.  Being a good match is all about compatibility, energy level and interests.  Would you really want to be 21 again…mentally too?  Relax and enjoy your spot in life. Focus on what is good about your relationship and the things your hubby loves about you.  I can bet he doesn’t notice any of the physical stuff.

    I am 50 and my partner is 37.  He loves that I am worldly and smart.  He said he dated super model types when he was younger, but they had nothing to talk about. I think being with someone younger keeps me younger.

    BTW, 10 years ago, I was engaged to a man 20 years older than me who died of a sudden heart attach just 6 months before our wedding.  

    Being old or young doesn’t mean much, life is still in charge.  Enjoy everyday and live like it is your last. Get out there and have some fun.

    19 like

  2. gdispce gdispce says

    It sounds like you have some inner insecurities in yourself. My husband is 5 years younger, but it really doesn’t equate to me looking that much older than him. I’m sure you know couples who are only one to two years apart and the the younger partner looks older. Couples are sometimes together for a long time, and we never know how we are going to age, or what sickness the other may get that causes a drastic change in looks. My best friend is 5 years older than her husband, and he walks with a lip due to knee issues and heart issues. He looks older.
     
    You’re not even talking about that much of an age difference. Is he having a “mid-life crisis” that’s making you feel older? That can happen with anyone, at any age. Look around you. Age is truly just a number.

    6 like

  3. Deidre Deidre says

    Hi there,
    My husband is 5 years younger than me. The age difference has never mattered to him or me. I agree with what everyone else has said that age is simply a number. Some people 20-25 yrs younger than us could not keep up with us. Of course we are aging and are looking our ages, (he is 62 and I am 67) but we are active, both still working full time and have much in common. I have always loved younger men because I have always had high energy and always looked younger than my actual age. When I was forty I dated and lived with a young man that was 24. When we met he thought I was about 35 and I thought he was about 30. When we found out how old each was it didn’t matter. He was very responsible and mature for his age and I was a fun loving active 40 yr. old. If your husband loves you, it shouldn’t matter. Enjoy what you have now and every day. We are not promised tomorrow.
    Deidre

    9 like

  4. Generic Image Anonymous says

    Hi you all lovely ladies,
    I am very glad people like you have discussed such topic which is very rare for real world and people generally don’t understand such relations due to society and other factors.. 
    I was just doing random search about this topic because I am also facing such situation in my life right now.
    My friend who becomes my GF is 10 years elder than me (I am 27 and she is 37). when we met I didn’t know about it. I thought probably she would max 2 or 3 years elder. she knew about it but she didn’t want to leave my company. she is very sweet not much wise but very friendly and understandable.
    All the thoughts that you people has described above naturally already came in my mind. I have seen how she is happy with me and how much she is not when away from me. we are from India and you all may know the thinking and society. right now we are in UK as students.
    My heart wants to see her happy and just let her enjoy life as she couldn’t in her home due to narrow thinking..
    I love her but I am not expressing openly though she knew it but she openly keep saying me.. and I know she really does..

    Now the situation is her parents may force her to marry (as our relation is not disclosed to anyone) somewhere because she already reached to an age. I am not settled in my life financially or career.

    I respect a lot our relationship. My heart says some time GO for IT!! but my mind says if it would be a wrong decision then whole life will ruin of both. I am pretty mature to understand this bubbly GF. but still I cant decide because some time thought come in mind that all this things looks good for now but what will happen when we grow and be older. how it looks when she will be 59 and I would be just 49.. 
    Please help me to decide something ….

    4 like

  5. Generic Image Anonymous says

    hey i hav a same case like anonymous case but the main diff is now she has married n still she is unhappy And now we want to live together please give some suggestion for the same wat should we do now to make our relation good n how can we get together

    1 like

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