There once was a woman who woke up one morning, looked in the mirror, and noticed she had only three hairs on her head. “Well,” she said. “I think I’ll braid my hair today.” So she did and she had a wonderful day.
The next day, the woman woke up, looked in the mirror, and saw that she had only two hairs on her head. “Hmm,” she said. “I think I’ll part my hair down the middle today.” So she did and she had a grand day.
The next day, she woke up, looked in the mirror, and noticed that she had only one hair on her head. “Ha,” she said. “Today I’m going to wear my hair in a pony tail.” So she did and she had a super fun day.
The next day, the woman woke up, looked in the mirror, and noticed that there wasn’t a single hair on her head. “YAY!” she exclaimed. “I don’t have to fix my hair today!”
I don’t know where this parable originated, but I smile every time I think of it–and I’m reminded of the best advice I ever received: “Keep in mind that attitude is everything.”
In a recent VibrantNation.com interview with Ask Amy’s Amy Dickinson, the author and advice columnist talked about her forthcoming book, The Mighty Queens of Freeville, and offered this gem: “I feel we all deserve a happy ending, but it really, really helps to have a happy before.”
So tell me, what’s the best advice you ever received from another woman?
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Hi Paige---
Having a boss like that can be the worst energy robber in the world. The process of love starts first with you. In the moments when you "can't take it any more"--- is there something YOU can do for YOU to course correct your 
Hey Anonymous2,
I certainly liked and felt amazingly confident about my 61-y/o body after reading your post! (: Although I've recently dated, here and there, I have not shared in sexual intimacy for a long while with anyone. If there are men out th
Read the second book by the same author.It was a challenge for them to commute back and forth to new York and Bali and share different parts of their lives together.Had she not met her man Julia 's character would have grown from her experience and j
I was married to an alcoholic and my self esteem had taken a major beating, until I realized it was the disease talking and I had the power to accept his judgement or not. the struggle to define myself out side of the illness continues but one of the members at the Alanon meeting once told me, that I could do it with or without the alcoholic, that I was capable of making it on my own and that I had a choice. I could be responsible for my own happiness and yes my own survival. she asked me who was responsible for paying the bills, making sure the kids were cared for and other nessessities and I said I was. It was like she lifted a veil. This was more then 20 years ago and I am still building that self esteem, the damage goes deep but to this day I just remember that I have a choice.
Some of the best advice my Mom ever gave me was how important it was to have a balanced life and to learn to work, play, laugh, and pray.
Marilyn, This made me laugh out loud.
Never date a man with a better do than yours.
Maria Grazia Swan
My mom always said “be yourself and don’t compromise your beliefs for any one”
barb
My mom always said “be yourself and don’t compromise your beliefs for any one”
barb
A marriage counselor once told me, “Just because he says it doesn’t make it so.”
Another counselor asked a question that could be translated into advice: “Has there been a time when you were angry and you turned that anger into something productive?
That question continually prompts me to turn anger about political issues into action and advocacy.
The best advice that I was ever given was: If you can’t say something nice, don’t say any thing at all. Live by that advice and you can’t help but have friends.
My Mother once told me “What you eat in private shows up in public”
I’d like to receive some good advice from women. I am turning 60 very soon. I don’t feel it, or look it, or act it. The only thing missing in my life is an outlet to express my sense of spirituality. I don’t know how to do that or where to find advice. Books don’t do it for me. Quotes of the day don’t. I can’t articulate what I need…I just know I need. What does anyone think?
A lot depends on what YOU mean by spirituality. If you are feeling very open about the possibilities, I would suggest taking a workshop that draws you – it sounds like you need something experiential, not just words on a page. Take a look at the workshop offerings at Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health (http://www.kripalu.org) or Omega Institute, or some other place closer to where you live. If you have a specific religious tradition that you connect your spirituality with, look into retreats that might be offered through that community.
I had a spiritual crisis in the midst of another crisis (isn’t it always the way) at about 45. I ended up in a traditional religious environment (Baptist) and I have to say I’m happy with it. But in the ensuing years I have learned that not only is my ongoing conversation with God (as I understand God to be) important but also how I converse with my fellow human beings. The things that have led me to the deepest spiritual understandings and the most intense spiritual feelings have come out of what I’ve done in service to others. When I was deep in personal crisis I had to shake myself sometimes, get outside my issues and go help someone else. That response came from Biblical priniciples that define our obligations of love and service to others and it has helped me find deeper meaning to my life than just showing up in church on Sundays ever has. I understand that longing that you describe. It is the beginning of the journey – understanding that there’s a need. I would advise that you take your heart and your talents somewhere that you know they are needed and give them away for a while. My church participates in several mission opportunities year round, filling physical needs of food, shelter, comfort, and companionship as we are able. You can find that in most religious organizations. You can do it on your own too – you don’t need to be a member of anything. But I find that my own spiritual needs are met when I share the work – and play – with others of like mind and spirit. So I highly recommend finding a church or other religious organization to join that meets your mindset and sets a high priority on service to one another and to the world. And if one doesn’t seem to be fitting you, don’t be afraid to try others until you find what you’re looking for. You’ll know – it will feel like coming home. Of course, service isn’t the end all and be all of spirituality. It’s just a place to jump in. But once you’re there, you’ll start to understand where to go next.
I have a small business and find my spirituality in others often-I am an artist and find God in my ability to pour creations from my hands-I kayak, hike and golf, garden and always find him/her in all nature….what do you love?!
I love the life I live as an arist. poet,talk show CoHost,authorand community servant, most of all I get a chance to see what God can do, with the creation She/he brought throug me in the form of three human beings who are going on their personal journies before my eyes.The best thing I Loved when I found God in me……made it easy to find God in everyone and everything One day I wil take up golfing….as a child I use to” play golf”
I agree with Selene and it seems as if your need for an outet coud be to vounteer to help, children, The ederly or needy…..sometimes when we fee we need an OUTLET ,it ay be a way your “soul” needs to reach out and find whats missing maybe you are not giving and when we don’t give we don’t recieve once you touch experience and ive some things then books and quotes may awaken a spark…..once you have at east it the fire….by the way try getting up between 3 and 4 in the morning….that’s when you can hear God “talk” to you llearn how to meditate….Im 60, don’t look it or feel it but I Love what it has brought and is bringing me in spirit, the more I share and help the more I gain and understand how much a part of God we are,
I would recommend finding a church where you can go to worship. A pastor once asked me… Why did god bring Moses out of the bondage and establish his poeple. In order to worship God. To give thanks is worship. To serve someone else in the name of our father, is worship. To be used and molded in a way that you wouldn’t think you could be used, is a high calling. Try to be open and ask for wisdom and clarity. Ask each day how you can make a difference in someone’s life and watch as opportunities arise that ONLY you could fill. Try to be humble even if you feel incredibly blessed. Think of this as a journey … you will never arrive. You will never be finished. Enjoy the journey and peace be with you.
The best advice I ever received? It’s ongoing…it never ends. I receive good advice all the time. For instance, my kids told me I had a mountain of patience; because I’ve never used any of it.
Another man told me one time that if I ever felt I couldn’t be replaced, run stick my hand in a pool of water…the size of the hole left behind is how I should measure my own importance.
My mother told me to BE TRUE TO YOURSELF
My four-year old granddaughter told me a person doesn’t need a computer to have fun…just a tree to hide behind for hide and seek.
My granny told me if I wanted my genealogy done for free, to run for political office.
But the most important advice that I’ve ever received and tried to make it a way of life was from my dad. A person may not remember your name, but they’ll always remember how you made them feel.
I vote that this is the best of the best advice. From Hamlet to hide ‘n’ seek.
Thanks.
I agree with Hattie! Thanks for the laugh and the insight, newwoman1.
Could well be the advice MaryDean gave me on the conversation string about why so many Gen X adult children unfairly resent their Boomer moms and dads. She agreed with my daughter, who essentially said every generation gets to have their issues with their parents: “get over it.” MaryDean added on: ”Somebody’s got to be the grownup.”
My Mother always told me “never marry a man that’s prettier than you are, or one that thinks he’s prettier than you”
Hi Marilyn
Sorry this has taken me so long to reply to but have just finished The Mighty Queens of Freeville
and it was a wonderful read. Talk about being persistent and never giving up on things and such a powerful story about the strength of family and especially the special bond all the women of the family had. I have 3 daughters and apart from loving each other dearly are all very good friends as well.
Thankyou once again to Amy and Vibrant Nation for the opportunity to read the book. Being in Australia it would not have been one I would have normally read.
Best wishes
Anne
My best friend told me to buy the book Until Today!: Daily Devotions for Spiritual Growth and Peace of Mind
and read it. Every day. It’s a wonderful book of devotionals, and it’s been a great help to me. Ilyana Van Zant is wonderful, I have since bought 2 more of her books!
Debi
I love Iyanla and haven’t heard anything from her in a long time. I will get this book from the library and see if it’s one to purchase. Years ago, she used to be on Oprah. I bought her book, “One Day My Soul Just Opened Up” for Xmas presents that year. Good luck to you Debi. Claire
love your husband, respect your husband but always have a hidden bank account under your own name.
i think it from the saying “When Life gives you Lemons,make Lemonade” in short try to make the best of every situtaion
Many years ago, after a dreadful divorce and left with a 4 yr. old son and no job, I met two women who gave me incredibly good advice. They were the children of divorces and their mothers never moved on with their lives. Both of them told me to always treat my ex with respect in front of my son and to let him develop his own relationship with his dad. The phrases, “Living well is the best revenge.” and “Ride the wave til it hits the shore.” have been with me all these years. I realized that the best thing I could do is not try to damage his relationship with his father. My guess was right, my ex did that all by himself unfortunately. Many thanks go to those two friends…..
Good for you! By the way, “ride the wave til it hits the shore” reminds me of some wonderful advice given to me once by a realtor friend. Our house wasn’t selling and we were getting desperate. We finally got an offer but it looked like it was going to fall through. The realtor said: “God didn’t wash you up on the shore just to leave you to starve on the beach.” Things worked out, and the phrase stayed with me.
I know over 25 have responded,but I wanted to share the best piece of advice given to to me was by my mother, she didn’t know how to teacn me about sex like some mothers might but she told me the if I didn’t give in to a boy ,in the long runI would gain more respect by not doing “it” than by doing it,,,,,,Most of all she told me how to make any critical decision in my life be it sex,or what ever….any thing that I coud do knowing God knows and can do it ,then do it. cause no body else really mattered….that advice has kept me out of a lot of trouble .
The best advice I ever recieved was that what anyone says to you is about them, not you. You can use it if it’s useful
or discard and let them have their negatives—because it’s not yours-it’s theirs.
My favorite phrase is ‘what others think of me is none of my business!!
It’s so simple and so profound.
The best advice I ever got from another woman wasn’t even meant for me or was it? Tis but a quote by Erma Bombeck.
“When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, “I used everything you gave me”
My mother said, “The women in our family are strong.” My father and mother raised 5 children and ran a farm. When I was a Senior in high school, they sold the farm. My mother found a job at the County courthouse working at a survey office. Offered the position of County Librarian which she accepted and remained doing until she retired. My father passed away at 69 and Mom was a widow for 28 years. Was active in civic and church activities, traveling, and enjoying life to 89….
I worked as a cashier for twenty years before changing careers. I learned computer/data entry skills “hands on.” During that time I was divorced, single mom, remarried and the loss of my husband due to cancer, twelve short years after we were married. My daughter and granddaughter came home to take care of him while he was sick, so I could work….
Today, I am retired after working 38 years. My daughter, granddaughter, (great granddaughter) and I purchased a home together and started our family co-op. It helps a lot to share resources and time….