Today’s Featured Comment
It took me 4 years to make up my mind to agree to a legal separation. I changed my mind about 3 times prior. I am 52. I have a good job and will have to work for another 13 more years till age 65.
This is what happens when we separate or divorce at a later age.
I downsized to a small bungalow, I basically learned to live with less, and have to watch my budget, and yes, I will not likely have the lifestyle that I could have if I was still married. But I knew I was in a toxic relationship going nowhere and I was miserable in it and a decision had to be made.
He did me a favor and asked for a divorce/separation. We split the assets 50/50. I was worried about the unknown, about my future, what if I lose my job and so on. Nobody can tell you what to do. Nobody can guarantee you that your future will be fine or you will be happier. I know I am glad I finally took the leap. I have always been an independent person so I am fine alone. I can take care of myself, deal with whatever life throws at me. I take care of the house and the maintenance and I am enjoying my freedom and my own happiness.
You have to have a plan first. I knew our separation was going to happen so I already had a plan of what I would do if it should happen. It was and still is a painful process. I thought it would be an easy thing to do – suppose to be amicable split, but nothing is easy when money/assets are involved. So I saw his true colors through the separation process and the jerk that he was. I have not talked to him since the separation 6 months ago. If he wants a divorce, he will have to file for it. Being the lazy person that he is, I doubt he will do it unless his new girlfriend wants to get married and does it for him. He moved on quickly to having a girlfriend shortly after I moved out.
The past few months were a roller coaster of crazy emotions for me. I cried easily, I fell apart when I saw him with her at my old house, and I felt wounded. It was good that I found this site and the many posts have helped me pull myself together. I am healing slowly but surely and have to go through this pain. 28 years is a lot of years with one man.
So I tell you, if you think you are going to be worse off financially and so on, get a job first, and then think about it some more. Have a plan because you do not want to be screwed over. Take care. It is not an easy decision to make. Do I have doubts still? Some days I do, but those days are becoming less and less and I have no regrets.
PS: There is nothing wrong with you.
[This comment was originally posted in this conversation. ~ Eds.]
Have you been through a late in life divorce? What would you add to this post?