Hi ladies.. i have been here before discussing $$ issues with my now former partner.. he moved in with me almost 4 years ago, and through 7 jobs, he had a difficult time making his portion of the Rent.. Utilities, mortgage, tv etc.. we had a horrible arguement about 1 month ago and he left with just his clothes,, all office stuff and other personal things still here.. camera, passport, photo albums etc etc etc.
When i asked him what he wanted me to do with it, he said “burn it, trash it or sell it”.. I can’t do any of the above as this is all his has to his name.. he is 64 !!..
Some friends say to rent a unit and pay for a month and send him the key.. to his area office as I have no idea where he is.. and then some say sell what you can ie.. printer, desk, chair book cases.. he owes me $13,000 for past contribution to the house..
What do you think i should do?
mamadaze
Get over it.
Here’s a quote from Oprah “When someone tells you who they are, believe them.”
He is living somewhere. Sounds like he has issues.
Do as your friend suggests or pack a box of personals and send it to his office. Then sell or dispose of everything else. You don’t talk about your feelings for him. Seems like you are ready to Cut your losses and move on. It’s always difficult to see someone make bad decisions, but they are out of our control.
Bluntly….
Sell what you can. It’s already payment, you are just exchanging it for currency you can use to pay off some of those back bills. If there is a box or two of truly personal items, as your friend suggested, drop them off/send them at/to his work and that is that.
I also would mention you should change your locks.
Good luck and strength for moving past this bad encounter.
Lilly
WOW! This must be some kind of disease going around. I had the same thing happen to me, but I was deserted 1200 mi. from home in a 40′ motor home that was going in for repairs. I was stuck with credit card balances and traveling costs to the tune of $8000. He just packed his clothes, computer, and some fishing gear and took off. Later I found his passport, tax papers for his business, etc. He tried to blackmail me into sending him all the rest of his stuff (tools, fishing gear, son’s pictures, etc.) by telling me that if I sent the stuff to him we’d “discuss” what he owed me. Well, I still have plenty of things to sell to recoup some of my losses. As for the passport and tax returns, that’s all sent him. I wanted him totally out of my life. And, this fall, when I have a yard sale, he will be. I may have to start a new life all over again, but that’s what it will be. A NEW LIFE with new opportunities, and hopefully, a new special person. They say everything happens for a reason, and sometimes when something bad happens to you, it’s a change that you’re supposed to be making with your life. This change has brought me more happiness that I ever thought was out there. Change is good sometimes and I’m welcoming this one.
If you lived together for 4 years, you may want to consult an attorney. This could be a common law marriage and require a divorce and division of property through courts to avoid any problems. Also, if you rent a storage building it would be put into you name, making you responsible for the bills. Be careful, this could be a legal nightmare in waiting.
Possum has a point. You should check about the common law issue. Don’t rent a storage unit as she said as well; it would be in your name. Although I am not one to be hard-nosed about things HE does owe you money and HE did leave. Make sure you are legally safe and then sell the stuff and keep the money! He owes you. Take care sweetie, I’ve been there and I am sorry.