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The Worlds Biggest Disease Hot Conversation

Is chivalry dead and gone?  Today I gave up my seat on the bus so an elderly man could sit despite my arthritic knees who were screaming “Don’t do this.”  The bus was filled with young men who could easily stand, many of whom only ride a few stops to get to school.

 

Then there’s the folks that run a hundred miles and hour to get to the checkout at the grocery store before you get there.  Or worse, jump the line knowing most folks won’t say anything.

 

The other day I saw a heavily pregnant woman lurching too far down the bus to call to her to take my seat.

 

Another of my pet peeves are drivers who shoot into a parking space you are trying to negotiate.  It’d dangerous and stupid.

 

Not to long ago a man wearing a knapsack kept bumping my head with his bag.  He was reading a newspaper and oblivious to his thumping of me and another woman who had the pages of his newspaper making adjustments to her coiffure.  I finally lost my temper (and believe me Santa when I do it’s gonna be baaaad.)  I snapped.  “Hit me with that bag again”, I old him, “and I’ll remove it from you and whack you on the head with it!  The woman who was desperately trying to maintain her hairdo added “Yea, and stop hitting me with that newspaper”.  We both got evil looks but the man lowered his bag and put his paper under his arm.  No apology, remorse, just a glowing resentment.

 

This probably belongs in the vent tent but I gotta write what passes for manners bites he big one.  I think a mandatory credit for all high school studens should be an ediquette course.  Bad manners doesn’t just stem from apathy but also from ignorance.

 

Well those who treat me badly are in for a big surprise.  When I hot flashing, tired and angry I’m like a pit bull ready for the fight.  Wake up rude people – I’m a commin!

 

I think this is a serious issue.  As aging women we need to hope for respect for elders.  There’s also the issue that bad manners make an unattractive personality.  We all have a moral obligation to treat others with dignity. 

 

Apathy is a personal and social disease.  We’re entitled to be handled with dignity.  Whee is it?

Posted in family & relationships, health & fitness.

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16 Responses

  1. midnightbloomer midnightbloomer says

    I agree, however…I also believe that our generation has helped create this ‘lack of manners’ society.  I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had someone of my age tell me, “Don’t call me ‘Maam’ or ‘Sir’”.  I can’t help it.  My Mother taught me to add that title whenever I addressed ANYONE that I felt I should show respect for.  It’s second nature to me.  Our generation is so worried that we might be perceived as being “old” that we refuse to allow common civilities in our lives and that extends to teaching them to our children.  The bad habits continue with their children. 

    Perhaps it’s not too late to teach our younger generations.  Speak out loudly and often when you encounter bad manners.  Oh…but do it with grace.  <smile>

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    • grannyinlongjohns grannyinlongjohns says

      I taught my kids that when they spoke to an elder they must use Mr., Miss, or Mrs.  so-and-so. And I told them to behave themselves at school because whatever punishment they got there would be doubled at home.  And if they caused trouble in any way to anyone at all they would have to apologize and make amends.  I guess when you write “do it with grace” you probably mean shouldn’t yell *()*&()&(&*&(&(**(&%&^%^$%% and your little dog too, LOL!

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  2. Scribbler Scribbler says

    Yesterday I had a man tap the end of my grocery cart with his bumper as he hurried to nab a parking space – he was flipping in and coming from the wrong way. Hubby told me latter I should have just fallen down and freaked him out – I’m not that devious. 

    In the grocery store I had two women try to dash in front of me in line – there were two express lanes open and only one regular line, but they both thought they would dash in front of me.

    I have been hanging onto my  cart and wobbling around – I don’t take a cane with me into stores because they get in the way, I prefer the cart to lean on – but then nobody sees that I need assistance moving around.

    No matter – even with my cane I constantly get people kicking it or knocking into it – which knocks me around.

    I lost my cool in line at an airport this summer – people got too close and kept banging their carry on luggage back and forth – somebody kicked my cane (which stays very close to my body so they were too close anyway) and I mouthed off.   People just look at me like I have two heads.

    I can lose my cool or I can keep it and blast them with ice – oroblem is when physical pain is inflicted the response is purely defensive and not so nice!  

    I was in the post office with two large boxes, at that time my cane was needed so I am a lopsided balancing act – four men in the post office hogged the table and kept farting around clumsily.  My turn came to go to the window and a man jumped right in front of me – but the lady who had been a few people in front of me saw and then turned on all of them! She told them all they should be ashamed of theirselves! She went on and chewed them out good,  I felt better – but jeez people………….. I just went home and cried for a while after that -

    I have heard so much and seen so much – I think in general a lot of people just run around with blinders on and have a hard time seeing other people are around.

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    • grannyinlongjohns grannyinlongjohns says

      Couldn’t agree with you more – people wear blinders instead of caring.  This is about doing the right thing because you see that it is morally wrong not to.  Those farting men should have been helping you, not making you wait with a difficult burden.  Good for the lady in the post office.  I’d have done the same.  When I see an elderly person in the grocery store I call them to take the stop ahead of me just as it’s my turn to check out.  I’ve gotten some filthy looks for it but I guess I look too tough ’cause I’ve never been challenged.  Good thing.  I’ve got a special lecture for folks who don’t understand what “special needs” means.

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  3. Generic Image SIZZELN says

    Kate, You are soo right!!! But it begins with us and I tell you we,us,older are not so nice with manners! Some elderly will make you spit! It’s a two way street…TRACK 

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    • grannyinlongjohns grannyinlongjohns says

      As ever you are right, sigh.  Maybe the reason why bad manners bother me so much is that my motto is do unto others.  I care.  Last Christmas after a heavy snowfall I was at the grocery store and I saw an elderly woman trying to push her cart through the snow.  She kept dropping things in the parking lot so I went to her and told her we would drive her home.  When I got her into her to her apartment her son opened the door.  He was able bodied and man, did I want to give him a piece of my mind.  I didn’t because I didn’t want to offend his mother.  It was two days before Christmas and I had a ton of things to do.  But you know, it actually enhanced my Christmas feeling.  It feels good to help another human being.  I don’t understand people who just don’t care. 

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      • Generic Image SIZZELN says

        kate, Stay with me here, she raised him, with help or alone, men start out as infants, so they get to do what parents tell them and show them, Am I right here so far?! Now why didn’t he go with her and help, bet ya, he will eat the food! Did she bring this on herself? We will all look pitiful on we get older, but what have we done!
        I like your way much better by helping when I can, but some elderly manipulate when they can…TRACK

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      • Scribbler Scribbler says

        There is even the possibility of the elderly or those with different abilities to try and do things for themselves – sorry I had to chuckle,  the thought of being cooped up in the house during a snowstorm with an adult child would send a lot of people out into the cold.     

        However – I have seen some pretty crafty manipulations in my day – some even warranted, I hate that from anyone. I would just like to see a resurrection of plain old common courtesy and respect for another human being, of all kinds and shapes and sizes. 

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      • grannyinlongjohns grannyinlongjohns says

        Good ediquette isn’t old fashioned, I agree.  I wasn’t being manipulated at the grocery store by this woman.  She was amazed that we wanted to help her.  It was sad, she dropped a box of cherry tomatoes and people were actually walking over them as she tried to gather them up.  I took the box and exchanged it for another.  I just told the cashier that an older woman dropped them from her cart and took them.  But I have been manipulated in the past and I’ve learned to avoid that type.  Too high maintenance!

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      • grannyinlongjohns grannyinlongjohns says

        I was raised in poverty with a brutal father and a mother who didn’t protect me.  It’s the perfect scenario for anyone to take the excuse that the world is mean and that’s how everyone gets by.  I have a sister who lives by that motto and I won’t have anything to  do with her.  Once you passed the phase of childhood you are free to make and take life the way you chose.  Just because someone will let you be an asshole doesn’t mean you have an excuse to be one.  But I read you loud and clear.  Some people don’t insist on being treated right and we do live in a world where sometimes you have to assert yourself to be treated properly.

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  4. Generic Image KGrandma says

    When I moved to central Oregon I was pleasantly surprised by the overall difference in attitude of the people here. Drivers make a point to allow others to pull into traffic. No one cuts anyone off. People in line at markets routinely offer to let a person with fewer items go ahead. It’s like manners and common decency are contagious, just like general nastiness can be.

    Stores here in OR are generous with return policies. Mostly people mind their own business. There are dog parks and hiking trails and senior centers and recreation districts and community college classes for all ages. People smile and speak when they pass on the street.

    My point, as usual, is that you have to start somewhere. Letting someone in front of you in line, motioning a driver to pull out and merge in front of you, speaking with kindness in the face of rudeness . . . it all takes more than we have left sometimes. We’re busy, we’re mad, we’re not gonna take it any more. Well, wait a minute. Take a deep breath. What if you said, “Excuse me, I’m sure you aren’t aware that your knapsack is bumping me in the head!”? What if you stood up, said, “That thing is hurting me; I’m sure you wouldn’t mean to hurt me!” And then watched for a reaction.

    Someone here said that manners should be taught in school. Maybe. But I think we can teach civility every day. Respecting children, treating clerks and police and strangers with courtesy — it’s all seen, absorbed, reflected. We live in a society filled with drug abusers, violent criminals, name-calling vicious media, and more. It’s up to us to counter it with the power of decency, kindness, intelligence, and calm.

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  5. Jackie Brown Jackie Brown says

    There is a neighborhood Catholic church which provides daily free lunches in its basement to the hungry.

    One day last winter I passed by and watched as the elderly parishoners going to mass clung to the bannisters for dear life as they struggled to make their way up the snow and ice covered front stairs. Meanwhile, the food line was filled with strong, able-bodied men shooting the breeze while they waited to go downstairs and get their free meals. Well, backed by my little dog, I went “yakkity” on their asses with a strong lecture about showing gratitude, helping otheres, and earning their keep. I don’t know how or from where they got shovels, but on our next pass most of the stairs had been shoveled clean, and they kept them shoveled through the remainder of the season. Let’s see what happens this year.

    As we say in NYC, “If you see something, say something.”

    Be happy.

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    • Jackie Brown Jackie Brown says

      Darn it, is the editing tool out of commission? That post of mine needs some fixing.

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      • grannyinlongjohns grannyinlongjohns says

        You made your point loud and clear.  Don’t worry about the editing.  I sometimes forget to check my spelling which is abominable.  And my grammer, ay ay ay!

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      • Generic Image SIZZELN says

        Don’t worry about it Yak, I got you!…TRACK :-)

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    • fayetteSIPP fayetteSIPP says

       Yak…….that’s the way to make changes happen….when we speak out of conviction , we speak out of no fear and where there is no fear there is strength , there is pride and here is accomplishment and you proved that in your intervening rather than in your just “talking ” about those young people, we can make a difference and what so we have to fear we have lived most of our lives in the shadows of others so why not show up and help in the name of love and good will….. Good work Yakkity

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